


Sword Art Online

by erentitanjaeger



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, Sword Art Online
Genre: M/M, ereri, riren - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-19
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-29 20:37:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 87,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1009817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erentitanjaeger/pseuds/erentitanjaeger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When something seems too good to be true, that’s because it usually is.  Within three hours of the game’s start, the creator of the entire endorsement, Akihiko Kayaba, summoned all ten thousand players into the town square of the first floor.  Some people were already complaining about the lack of the ‘log out’ feature.  I thought it was just some sort of bug, I didn’t think anything of it when I noticed it myself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this is my first chaptered fic (like, ever!) so I hope I can keep it updated. The thing is, I had WAAAY too much fun writing this so shouldn't be a problem.
> 
> This is a cross-over fic with the anime Sword Art Online. Eren and Levi are put into that universe and experience the events of the alternate anime. But I've tried to make it so that anyone who hasn't seen Sword Art can still understand the concepts of it well enough to enjoy the story.
> 
> And now I hope I've inspired some of you to go watch SAO (because it's just beautiful).
> 
> This story is told in Eren's point of view unless stated otherwise.
> 
> EDIT: I started tracking the tag 'fic:snksao' over on tumblr just in case.

Sword Art Online.

The new Virtual Reality Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game that took the world by storm. With the help of a virtual reality helmet named Nerve Gear, the system is able to access the part of the brain that controls all five senses within the body, thus interrupting the signals and successfully transferring the player right into the world of the game, allowing them to control and play as their avatar as if it were all real.

It seemed like a dream come true. Even the fact that there would only be ten thousand copies released at first didn’t deter the obsessive gamers from all across the globe from gathering and praying they would get their hands on one of those precious copies of the game and its software. Everyone wanted to play. Everyone wanted to escape into the world that is Sword Art Online.

I was one of the lucky few. On Octomber 31st, 2022, I managed to get my hands on the last copy available in Germany, much to the ridicule of many of the more advanced gamers. I didn’t care. I had saved up for months for this game, camped outside Gamer’s Hut for almost three days. I thought I was so lucky; the last copy.

But when something seems too good to be true, that’s because it usually is. Within three hours of the game’s start, the creator of the entire endorsement, Akihiko Kayaba, summoned all ten thousand players into the town square of the first floor. Some people were already complaining about the lack of the ‘log out’ feature. I thought it was just some sort of bug, I didn’t think anything of it when I noticed it myself.

But then Akihiko announced that it was no bug and it was very much intentional. He told us all that he had fixed the Nerve Gear with a feature that, if interrupted in anyway, would send very strong microwaves through the centre of the brain, thus killing the wearer instantly if the Nerve Gear was to be removed. When asked how we were supposed to log out then, he answered with what we were all thinking, but were too afraid to acknowledge.

We had to win.

On each of the one hundred floors that made up SAO, there was one boss that, if defeated, would lead to the next floor. If we somehow managed to make our way up to the top floor, clearing the bosses one by one, we would all be able to escape the game. But there was a catch, as there always is. Not only were our relatives prevented from interfering with the Nerve Gear, but if our health points bar hit zero within the game, the Nerve Gear would send off the same microwaves mentioned before, killing us for real.

To prove how serious he was about all this, Akihiko announced that two hundred and thirteen people had already died because of their family’s ignorance.

This was no longer a game. This was all very much real.

We now all had two choices; live and win, or lose and die. We had to fight to live. I already knew my choice the moment I felt the sudden change within the games very coding, within my artificial body, now my real body for the time being. 

It’s been eighteen months since Akihiko announced the life and death game that had become of SAO. I had heard along the lines that the front-liners, players and guilds who teamed up and fought against the floor’s bosses, had managed to make their way to almost the seventy-fifth floor. I was beyond impressed. But despite all their hard work, there were still players stuck as far down as the tenth floor.

Clearing the bosses, opening up new floors, that was one thing. But those of us who didn’t have the skills or even the motivation to strengthen ourselves enough to be able to fight our way through the floors were stuck as far as our skills could take us. I considered myself lucky to have made it as far as I had, though I wasn’t all too complacent with my solid place on the fifteenth floor.

It was nice here though. The Nerve Gear did a fine job in making everything seem so real. Sometimes I forgot I was in a game fighting for my life; that I had a home and a family to get back too. But as the months wore on and the front-liners climbed higher and higher, while I still grinded and grinded but never seemed to get anywhere, I started to think of how I could make this place my home; how I could make the imminent, permanent stay seem bearable.

I was growing restless though. There was only so much one could do by themselves before they were begging and screaming for some kind of help; some kind of hero.


	2. Floor 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, six months back or so, someone had figured out a way to finish off a player even in a safe zone. Normally, it’s impossible to deal damage to a player within a town unless the player agrees to a duel of some kind. But then some psycho figured out that if you find someone sleeping under a tree or on a park bench, you can manipulate their hand to agree to a duel and finish them off. It’s extremely unfair and it’s very dangerous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Official chapter to start it all off! I love the idea of Levi being a gamer addict who doesn't do anything else
> 
> AKA my life

Eighteen months, one week, two days, one hour, twenty-seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. Thirty-two seconds. Thirty-three seconds. That’s how long I’ve been trapped inside SAO. It’s not that it hasn’t been fun, because it has. Because of Akihiko’s plot, I’m guessing the entirety of the world, the real world I mean, is now discovering how dangerous virtual realities can be. So I’m assuming that once this is all over, Sword Art Online will be the first and last virtual reality video game to have existed. 

So with that in mind, I’ve been trying to enjoy the experience. Make lemonade out of lemons and all that. But it’s kind of difficult to enjoy the game to an extent when you know the game may just be the death of you; literally.

If this was an ordinary game, if I was back at home, in my desk chair, headphones blaring over my ears and a controller in my hand, I wouldn’t care about dying. I’d send my character charging in, no matter my level. If the forums told me I was ten levels too short, I wouldn’t care. If my guild suggested upgrading my armour, I wouldn’t listen. It was just a game. 

Besides, by the time I had died once or twice, I had already taken in the boss’ tactics, it’s movements, it’s patterns and I was able to take it down third or fourth try no problems. But now it was different. I didn’t have the luxury of re-spawning, to go back in and collect more data; I had one try and one try only. Do or die. Win or lose.

Because of this, my usual confidence in gaming had shrunk exponentially, and I was now stuck as I was. Level eighteen, an iron blade, only better than basic armour and very few items to my name. I had little to no money and certainly nothing of worth. I had heard other players could afford houses, horses, even entire farms. I could barely afford a hotel room when night came. It was almost embarrassing.

Still, I kept track of the front-liners and their progress. Some of the guilds were amazing, smashing through several floors in only a few weeks. The top three being the Military Police, the Scouting Legion and the Garrison. I usually had my eyes on the Scouting Legion. Others were just small party members banded together but managed to get the job done well enough. They were all so amazing. I wondered what kind of gaming experience they had had before to be able to play like they did now.

Then again, I’m sure some of them would be able to hold real life skills to their avatars as well. I had heard from some great hand-to-hand combat experts who practiced karate in their real lives. There was even a fencing Olympian somewhere throughout the game. Though rumour has it he’s a solo player, preferring to rely on only himself and his own skills. I can see why.

If you fight by yourself, it means you get everything. All items dropped, all the experience points, all the upgrades. You level up, become stronger and move up faster than even some of the strongest guilds. What I wouldn’t give to be strong enough to be a solo player myself?

But as I am, I have no choice but to rely on other people. I haven’t found a suitable guild to join, and believe me; it’s not from lack of trying. I’m too low level to join their ranks or be of any use to them. So instead I find different groups in towns, offer up my make shift skills as a temporary party member. I get some experience points and items this way, but it never lasts and usually never gets me anywhere.

In the end, I always find myself back where I started. The fifteenth floor is becoming very familiar to me and in a very sickening way.

“But it’s true! That’s what I heard!” The girl sitting behind me gasped. “Right through the heart; and in his sleep!”

It took me a moment to figure out what she could possibly be talking about, until I remembered that there had been a lot of sleeping player killers these past few months. Apparently, six months back or so, someone had figured out a way to finish off a player even in a safe zone. Normally, it’s impossible to deal damage to a player within a town unless the player agrees to a duel of some kind. But then some psycho figured out that if you find someone sleeping under a tree or on a park bench, you can manipulate their hand to agree to a duel and finish them off. It’s extremely unfair and it’s very dangerous.

I’ve been trying to keep track of the different sleeping player killers around this floor, since I’ve found it harder and harder to afford hotel rooms as of late. They move quietly though, and catching them is almost impossible as at least most of them are smart enough to do it while nobody else is around.

I only know of a few regular sleep pk-ers and that none of them are on this floor tonight, but my chances of sleeping under a tree peacefully tonight still aren’t great; there will always be a new threat. Even if I knew of all the sleep pk-ers, I still wouldn’t sleep easily. There’ll always be someone else itching to try their hand at it, even just once. But it’s like smoking a cigarette back in the real world; once is all it takes.

I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought about doing it once or twice myself. It‘s just so tempting, when I finally see someone more defenceless than myself, just lying there, their hand only inches from the button that would lock them in a duel with me, making it incredibly easy to take all they had.

But that’s the thing; I’d be taking away all they had. Not just their items, their EXP, their armour and weapons. I’d be taking away their families, their homes, their jobs, their livelihoods. If this were any other game, I probably would have tried it by now. That’s always it; if this was any other game.

One in the morning rolled around, I was resting my head on my arms at the bar, a glass of beer still at my fingertips. Nobody cared how old you were in this game; you could be clearly eight years old and they’d still serve you a drink. It’s not like it really affected my real body anyway, just my avatar. It made it slightly harder to control it for a while, but the affects wore off quick enough if you didn’t drink too much. Besides, these days, it helped me to sleep.

A rough hand shoved at my shoulder, bringing me out of my hazy sleep. I looked up at the bartender groggily, yawning heavily and blinking the sleep dust out of my eyes.

“Bar’s closed, kid,” he said gruffly at me. “Go home.”

I scowled. Easy enough for him to say. Stupid NPCs. They had it so lucky. 

I jumped down from my stool, landing some gold on the counter before exiting the inn and walking out into the night. At least the nights were still cool here, the fresh air already helping to clear my artificial sight. I still wiped at my eyes though, trying to get the last of the weariness out of me as I prepared for a good few hours of standing watch; over myself.

I walked towards the edge of the town, figuring if I wasn’t going to sleep I should at least keep myself busy and try and defeat some low-level frenzy boars to level up some. Though at level eighteen those things really didn’t provide enough EXP for it to be considered worth the effort; morning would come and I’d only have just barely reached level nineteen. Still, it kept my body moving and my mind busy.

Nearing the edge of town, I started equipping the measly amount of throwing knives I had. They weren’t skilled enough to be used on anything else anyway; may as well clear up my inventory a bit and use them.

“Let’s see,” I muttered to myself, walking and equipping at the same time. “Ten throwing knives, maybe a couple of health crystals…definitely a teleport crystal.” I wasn’t taking any chances. 

Crystals were incredibly convenient in a world where magic didn’t exist. Different coloured crystals meant different effects on the player; red was health, green was an antidote, blue was a teleport crystal that would send the player to any town’s gate of their choosing (providing they had been to that town before).

Some people thought it was crazy; making an online game where the players relied on hand-to-hand combat, body skills and weapons to get them through the levels. But I thought it was more fun that way. This was a game made to take advantage of the full body’s movement in a world not your own; even if magic was available, I’d think you’d be crazy to use it all the time. 

If this were any other game…

I was still mulling over this when a figure caught my eye. I didn’t see him at first, the moonlight being blocked out by deep, blue clouds. Now that the clouds had moved, he became apparent to me almost instantly, though he hadn’t seen me yet. He was hunched over, his shoulders shaking from trying to stifle his obvious amusement at something. Perhaps a drunk? Yeah, we still had them here. 

I was just about to go on my way when I noticed another figure with him, lying on the ground, his hand upright, the larger figure manipulating his finger so it connected to the blue circle button that indicated a duel had begun.

A sleeping player killer!

The sleep pk-er equipped a large sword, holding it over the sleeping player’s neck, ready to sever it completely. It wasn’t enough that he could just cut down the player’s HP enough so that he won automatically, but he had to kill him too? I barred my teeth. 

But I couldn’t do anything! I couldn’t use weapons on him, I wasn’t the one in a duel with him! But I knew someone who was…

“Hey! Wake up! Watch out!” I shouted without any thought. It worked.

The man on the ground: his eyes flew open, their cobalt colour visibly seen even from this distance. The sleep pk-er was startled, but raised his hands to strike him down anyways. Shit! Could I tackle him? That guy was big! Easily three or four times my size. I’d never even slow him down.

I didn’t need too. The sleeper threw his legs over his head, causing the sword and the sleep pk-er alike to stumble, using the rest of the momentum to roll over completely and land on his feet, turning to attack while instantly equipping a sword at the same time. I didn’t even see his hand move over the menu; he was fast.

The sleep pk-er wasn’t going to give up without a fight though. He righted himself, ready to swing his massive sword at the other. This was bad! That sword was almost as heavy as the wielder himself, it would crash through the other’s without stopping, slicing it, and the player, in half like butter. I didn’t want to look, but at the same time I couldn’t look away.

If this were any other game!

But the other figure, a young boy, I could see now, ducked under the swing easy, as if he had seen through the movement before it happened, leaping towards the big guy and darting his sword forward. It landed a hit. The boy brought it back, letting it fly forward again and landing another hit.

He wasn’t fast, he was lightning-speed! How high was his speed status?

Hit after hit after hit landed on the sleep-pker, his body rocking from the force of it. I could barely make out the glint of the blade as it flew into the body again and again and again. It was like watching lightning purposefully hit its target, knowingly chipping away at the sleep pk-ers HP in large chunks.

As soon as it had started, it stopped. The boy brought his sword back, ready to launch it again at the first sign of a counter attack. But the sleep-pker was shaking now, trembling, gazing with wide eyes at his HP bar. I looked at it too.

Jack, level twenty-one, sixteen HP left. I could barely even see the red that indicated his, somehow, still beating heart. Jack fell to his knees, still trembling. ‘Duel winner!’ appeared over the body of the boy. He put his sword back in its sheath (so that’s where it had come from), giving Jack’s body a good, heavy kick, knocking the man to the ground; a last notion of revenge.

“I-I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Jack’s voice was high with fear, terrified of having his last HP drained away by the fierce boy above him. 

“Shut up,” he said, only showing slight irritation at the whole thing. His voice was incredibly deep though, not nearly as young-sounding as I thought it might be. He wasn’t a kid at all, a young adult maybe. Someone in his mid-twenties. I shouldn’t be surprised, there were people with all kinds of ages and makes all over this game; SAO had attracted a very diverse kind of crowd.

At that, the boy, no, the man, simply walked away. He didn’t even bother collecting the other’s items. I hadn’t seen anyone show that kind of mercy to another player before. Everyone was always so on edge about the whole ‘die once, die forever’ ordeal that if someone pissed them off, they found a way to exact their revenge in any way they could. There were no apologies, just lots of grudges. I was astounded at this man’s forgiveness.

But as he approached me, I saw why.

His name was Levi and he was level seventy-two. At that level, you certainly didn’t need anything a level twenty-one player could offer. No wonder Jack had seemed so happy to kill him off; I couldn’t begin to imagine the kind of loot Levi was holding in his inventory.

As he got closer, the moon light revealing his features more and more, I noticed two things simultaneously. His eyes were an incredible shade of blue. There had been countless debates over whether my own eyes were either green or blue, but everyone agreed they were a nice colour. Yet they seemed almost dull compared to the cobalt that positively shone from this man’s irises.  
The other thing I noticed was that for someone in his mid-twenties, he was extremely short.

Good things come in small packages, I guess.

He stopped in front of me, looking me up and down. I gulped. The way he had sneered at Jack was intimidating enough; I really didn’t feel like finding out how he’d look at me, level eighteen and couldn’t even afford a place to sleep at night. 

“Thanks,” he said, his voice curt and yet intimidatingly bored. He sounded like he drawled most of his words.

“Uh- It’s no problem,” I replied. What else was I supposed to say? The way you slaughtered that man was a work of art? Teach me? That would go down well.

The man continued to look at me, his blue eyes boring into my skull. It made me nervous. I looked away, trying to think of something witty to say about his victory. Congratulations? Well he’s not graduating. Good job? Yes, have a gold star while you’re at it. Dammit!

“What’s your level?” he asked abruptly. I sputtered a bit, extremely embarrassed to let my level be known to someone like him. I was only able to see his level because he wasn’t hiding it; and I wouldn’t either if I was him. I’d want everyone to know how powerful I was, to back the hell off, to think twice before challenging me to a duel.

But because I didn’t want anyone seeing how much of a weakling I really was, my status bar remained hidden. It was pretty easy to change this fact; it was all in the mind. But there was no way I was going to reveal my bar to him, not in front of this lightning strike personified.

“Uh- just a little over thirty,” I muttered, still looking at the ground. He scoffed at me, loudly. I finally looked at him, hurt written all over my face. 

“It is not. You’re horrible at lying. Maybe you should concentrate on upping your stealth skills before anything else.”

What surprised me was that he didn’t seem smug about knowing my level was so low, maybe just a little perturbed. He probably thought I was wasting his time. Well, I kind of was.

I mumbled a few choice words under my breath before just giving up and making my status bar known. It didn’t matter, it’s not like he was going to challenge me and I could refuse even if he did. Not only that, but if I just showed him my name and level, he’d get what he wanted and could leave me alone. I felt so small in front of him despite our very obvious height differences.

“Eren, level eighteen? That is definitely not ‘a little over thirty’,” he spoke, looking up at my green bar that showed a measly eleven hundred health points.

“Yeah, no kidding,” I muttered. Okay, you’ve sized me up, chewed me up, spat me out. Are we done here?

“Alright, what do you want then?” Levi asked.

I looked down at him, dumbfounded. Those cobalt eyes looked at me, no expression in them at all. He didn’t even seem annoyed at me (which I was thankful for). It wasn’t just his level, it was his skills, his confidence that he radiated. This man was an incredibly powerful player.

“E-excuse me?” I stammered. I was so confused by his words.

“You saved my life just now, level eighteen or not, I need to repay you for that,” he explained.

I held up both my hands, shaking my head, exasperated. Debt was not something I looked forward too. Debt was one of those things that never really went away. I saved his life, sure. He feels the need to pay for my room for a night, fine. But then I’ll feel inclined to buy him breakfast (how does bread and no butter sound?). He’ll then feel he should give me some health crystals. See how it never ends? The only way to stop it is to accept that it never existed.

“I don’t want anything!” It was the truth. I didn’t want anything, not from him anyway. I didn’t want to fine myself owing a man that could kill me with one strike as soon as we left the safe-zone. 

“Don’t be humble, it’s condescending.”

I’m being condescending?

“But I’m serious!”

“So am I.”

“I don’t want anything from you!”

“Too bad.”

This guy was crazy. I was letting him off, Scott-free. Any other player would’ve left me by now. Then again, any other player wouldn’t have even bothered to offer me something in return anyway.

“Look, kid,” he started in on me, his eyes glaring now. Oh, so he was capable of emotion. “In case you haven’t heard, this is no longer your ordinary, online, respawn-a-thousand-times-and-still-be-the-same-level kind of game.”

Well, no shit.

“This is life or death, for real. You just saved my life, and now I’m indebted to you. Trust me, I don’t like it any more than you do. But that’s how it is. Now let me give you something in return for waking me up when I was about to fall under some ass’s guillotine.”

Yes. This guy was crazy. And a little bossy.

I slammed my hand onto my forehead, the smacking sound echoing around us in the night. What was I even supposed to ask for? Anything I thought of just made it sound like I was spoilt. Then again, wouldn’t I be the crazy one if I didn’t take advantage of the situation even just a little?

“Uh- maybe you could get me a hotel room for the night? And a decent meal?” I’ve missed roast beef more than I ever would have realised, and limited to a loaf of bread every twelve hours got old very quickly.

“And?” he coaxed me on.

“And…” Would it be totally wrong of me to ask for a decent weapon? “A decently skilled weapon?” Well, it felt wrong.

He let out a heavy sigh, rubbing his temple with one hand and scratching his neck with the other. It almost looked like one of those activities in preschool when the teacher got you to see if you could pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. He was a multi-tasker.

“You have no idea how to take advantage of anyone, do you?”

And that was a bad thing?

He dropped his hands again, his eyes holding a sort of loathing I couldn’t really name. It’s like he hated me for this whole ordeal, for saving his life. Sorry, guy, I’ll be sure to sit back and watch the next time you’re about to be stabbed through the throat.

I didn’t mean that, of course.

“If you’re only level eighteen, that means you’ve been stuck on this floor for a while now, am I right?”

It amazed me that he was so easily able to know everything about me.

“Y-yes.”

“So how about I help you out?”

No way.

“I have a house up on Floor 60. How about I accompany you, help you level up, get you some credible skills and once we get there, we call it even? I upgrade your life in return for saving mine.”

My dumbfounded expression was back. That would be way more than I could ever hope to ask for. Floor 60? And by then, with Levi’s help, I’d have some high-levelled friends, maybe even work my way towards joining a front-liner guild; maybe even the Scouting Legion. Levi’s tutoring would be the push that I needed to get started in being a great player in this life or death game.

“O-ka-ay,” I kind of breathed out, pinching my arm to see if this was real and that I hadn’t fallen asleep unknowingly to dream up this amazing situation.

“Say it like you mean it,” he said, his annoyance fading now that we had come to an agreement.

“Y-yes! That’d be great!” I shouted, a smile finding its way onto my lips.

“Good. Now let’s go get that ‘decent meal’. I’m starving,” he told me, walking away.  
I stood there for a few moments, looking at my hands, only imagining what kind of things they’d soon be doing thanks to the man who had just offered me his help. I didn’t know the extent of Levi’s skills, but I certainly didn’t care. They’d all be far superior to mine, all of them worth learning. I grinned, thinking of what I might see.

I had heard of so many different kinds of floors; some covered completely in snow, others a death trap of constant sand storms. I had even heard of a floor holding the mostly valuable crystals anyone could find, that you could make your own status crystals there. By this point I was positively shaking with excitement.

“Hey!” I head Levi’s deep voice cut through my voice. “You’re determination is touching but you missed the part when I said ‘I’m starving’. Move it.” 

“Uh- right!” I ran to catch up with Levi, following him back into town where we could find a twenty-four hour restaurant. The moonlight faded around us and was replaced by the soft glow of the streetlights, our shadows winding around us like the sped-up hands of a clock as we walked. Both of our footsteps timed together almost perfectly.

But then it only just occurred to me; what if this was the only time we knew each other that I would be able to match Levi’s pace? What if he ended up scowling at me every day, those eyes filled with an anger I was yet to see, because I was slowing him down? He said he’d stay with me, but there had to be an extent to that. I know I’d have one if our roles were switched.

“I feel like roast, hope you’re alright with that,” he said quietly, his voice not exactly gentle but softened from just moments before.

“Y-yeah,” I said, surprised he felt like the same thing I had been craving for weeks. “That’s fine with me.”

No. It’d be fine. We were already in tuned with each other, it was almost as if he was able to read my thoughts so easily, and I’d learn to read his over time. Imagine how easy he’d be able to read my movements, my ability levels, and how fast I would level up because of that. I could already feel that he’d be a great teacher. I’d be more than fine by Levi’s side. I could feel it.


	3. A Man's Resolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I still believed he was entirely wrong, but yet I understood that he was entirely right. But I knew a resolution like that, I had one myself. It wouldn’t be shaken. It wouldn’t be broken. And really, what right did I have to even try?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -gives you chapter 2-
> 
> U vU I really like this chapter. I really like how I made the characters work with the situation.
> 
> And Eren may be my baby but Levi is too fun to write. XD

Peas, corn on the cob, mashed potatoes, fried beans, roast beef, gravy, real beer. It was all sitting in front of me now, and it all looked so damn good. I think the last time I had had something that closely resembled a meal one would actually eat at dinner was back when I was on floor eight and frivolous spending was still possible for me. It smelt like heaven and probably tasted better than that.

I just didn’t know what to eat first. The corn on the cob was all charred from the barbeque which is exactly how I liked it. Yet the mashed potatoes were practically leaking with butter so they probably had a really strong taste. But I should probably concentrate on eating the meat first, in case I don’t have any room for anything else. Though there was no way I was going to leave a single scrap of food on this plate.

Levi, sitting across from me, had already taken up his knife and fork and was slicing apart everything on his plate. He had ordered red wine with his meal though, a more elegant choice. I tried ordering the same thing but he only scoffed before ordering one of the better beers on the menu for me. I was thankful though; red wine tasted like crap. I was just trying not to seem so tactless to him.

I watched silently as he finished cutting up his beef and then moved onto the corn. Who the hell cuts the corn off corn on the cob? You pick it up and eat it with your fingers! It’s a finger food! Like ribs or chicken wings! But he continued to slice the charcoal off the yellow vegetable before removing them from the core. Well, to each their own. This man would be paying for my expenses for the next few weeks until I had enough gold saved up to start paying for myself again; there was no way I was going to make fun of his eating habits.

“Your food will get cold,” he spoke to me, not even looking up. He finished removing the corn and went onto the beans, cutting each one into thirds. 

“Ah- right,” I stammered, finally picking up my knife and fork and cutting a huge slab off the beef, coating it in the gravy and stuffing the whole thing into my mouth. Wow! The meat was tender as I chewed it and the gravy helped intensify the flavour until I was practically crying with joy. And I was so sure my tastebuds had been desensitised by all that bread.

When I finished that mouthful, I didn’t waste time in scooping up some potatoes and beans, stuffing my mouth with the mixture and humming in joy. With my mouth full and the fork still in, I noticed Levi was looking at me with that same kind of loathing I was beginning to recognise easily. I carefully removed my fork, wiped my mouth with a napkin and chewed slowly and quietly.

“Should I leave you two alone or something?” He picked up his wine and took a sip, I did the same with my beer, though it was more of a giant swig with foam running down my chin. I wiped my mouth with the napkin again.

“S-sorry,” I muttered, being sure to take smaller bites now. Levi had finally finished slicing his meal, and was moving on to coat every piece of beef in an equal portion of mashed potatoes. Okay, this was just bordering on entertaining. Is he like this with every meal? “I just haven’t eaten anything other than bread in a while. I spent all my money on the lower floors and it’s hard earning gold around here.”

As great as SAO was (except for the obvious exception), it still had a limited number of gold and resources to go around, adding to the very realness that made the game so absorbing. I had already completed most of the quests on this floor and party members were hard to come by these days, meaning the gold I was earning on a regular basis just continued to thin.

“How long have you been stuck here exactly?” Levi asked, shifting a small amount of potato over to a different piece of beef that didn’t have as much as the others. Was Levi just generous or obsessive? I couldn’t tell.

“Uh, let’s see. I cleared Floor 14 just before Christmas and spent most of my earnings on a new shield to celebrate,” I re-countered for him. There was a sudden silence on his side of the table. I looked at him to see that loathing replaced with a very small amount of surprise. It was more interest than surprise actually. For someone who didn’t have any, his expressions were very captivating.

“You’ve been here four months?” 

“Five, technically. It’s nearing the end of May,” ‘cause that made my lack of achievement so much better. I should learn that less is more when it comes to talking to Levi.

He only starred at me more before bowing his head and going back to decorating his meal. He was now arranging the beans. There was no way it was still going to be hot after all that preparation, and he had been scowling at me for shovelling it down? 

“Alright. So what quests have you completed then?” 

He was gathering information. The more he knew about my abilities and achievements, the more he would know what he had to work with. Though I think I was shocking him with my lack of anything at the moment. I had concentrated on upping all the wrong skills, concentrating on strength but then having nothing for agility, so no real way of using it. Most of my points I had dedicated to speed, so my defence was really low. It’s why I had bought the new shield in the first place.

“Most of them. There are few in the mountains I haven’t done but everyone says you need a good party to complete them,” surely my number of completed quests would impress him.

“So if everyone told you to imagine yourself as Lara Croft and take a swan dive off the top of the clock tower, would you?”

Apparently not. And he was a Tomb Raider fan?

“Well, no,” I answered honestly. 

“Right. So we’re moving up to the mountains tomorrow. You’ll be fine with just me,” he spoke as if I didn’t already know that last part, finally using his fork to pick up a piece of beef and place it in his mouth, chewing elegantly. He must be nobility in the real world.

I went back to my own meal for a while, picking out a few extra crispy beans amongst the mess I had made. But I was more or less just trying to distract myself, containing my excitement of seeing something different, experiencing something new. Even I hadn’t explored the mountain range of this floor yet.

“So tell me about your fighting style? I’ll have to figure out a way to tie it in with mine so we actually make a good team,” at this he opened his menu, scrolling through his inventory and abilities. I couldn’t see them from here, but from the way he just kept scrolling I assumed it was a pretty long list.

“Ah, I kind of just go in, and see what works.” I didn’t need his sudden scowl at me to know it was a stupid answer. Obviously I was even worse at this game than I originally thought.

“You’re joking?” And judging by his tone, I was even worse than that. “You haven’t picked a fighting style? Abilities content? Where the majority of your status points go?”

I was so ashamed with how much he knew; it all sounded like it should just be basic knowledge as well. I actually dropped my fork and slammed my head against the table, groaning loudly. That turned a few heads. Levi glared at them all before turning back to me.

“I told you, this isn’t your average game!”

“I know that!”

“So stop treating it like one!” He was pissed. I didn’t like Levi pissed. It was like waiting for the creepy things to come out and attack you in Silent Hill. You knew they were there, you just didn’t know when the horror would strike.

“Look, I know I said I’d accompany you to Floor 60, but if you’re going to be a moron about it, I’m getting up and leaving right now.”

I gulped. I didn’t want him to leave. Forget the fact that he was my one chance of getting out of this game, but he was the first real conversation I had had since New Year’s. 

Oh wow. I am pathetic.

“Look, the best players have their preferences lined up and concentrate on them; only them.” He had pushed his meal aside now, going into teaching mode already. “I know some who like strength. So they equip clubs, heavy armour, build up their agility and swing their way through boss battles. I know others who prefer speed. So they buy light clothing, lots of smaller weapons, tack on a bit of defence for added support. See where I’m coming from?”

I nodded vigorously, munching on my corn as I did. He could stop eating, but I was still famished.

“So find the right path for you and use that. You’re only going to waste points if you try and up every ability and stat you have. No wonder you’re not getting anywhere.” At that, he slumped in his chair, crossing his arms and continued to scowl at me. I just gazed at him, impressed by his knowledge.

“Let’s try this; what’s your goal?”

I swallowed my corn, looking at him dumbfounded. Suddenly I found myself falling back, my chair overturned and my head hitting the floor, my corn discarded over in the corner, evaporating in tiny shards of light as its integrity drained. Levi had kicked over my chair.

One of the perks of SAO was that it didn’t have a pain inducer. You might get hit, or cut, or crushed, but you’d never feel a thing. It made the whole dying thing a little easier to bare. Though it didn’t mean I hadn’t taken a good hit to my dignity just now.

“You are an idiot. I’ve met some low-level dipshits but you really take the trophy for dumbest player around,” he had gotten up, walking over to me and stomping his boot on my chest. I couldn’t feel it but it was still uncomfortable. “How on earth were you even smart enough to wake me up when I was about to be sleep pk-ed? I’m surprised you didn’t think the guy was going to give me a kiss.”

I glared angrily at him, despite how true his words were. I hated what he was telling me; it’s not as if I hadn’t realised all of this at some point along the way. As soon as I had found out that I could die in this game, and in the real world, I had more or less sub-consciously given up. I had found the safest way of playing this game; by not playing at all. I wanted to cry out of complete anger, but I was already humiliated enough; Levi didn’t need to see me be a wimp as well.

I could’ve sworn Levi would’ve spat on me, but he probably thought that was some kind of high honour and that I didn’t deserve it. I really didn’t. He took his boot off my chest and stomped on my face instead. 

“How did I get roped in to tagging along with a little shit like you? Are you even legal in the real world? I highly doubt it. You drop out of school too?”

Now he was just being unfair. I managed to wiggle my way out from under his boot and away from the range of his limbs. I sat there, panting, looking up at this amazing player who thought of me as little more than shit. I wasn’t going to cry now, but I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to stop myself once I was alone. We hadn’t even begun and I was already disappointing the man who was supposed to be my hero.

“I’m done with you for the night,” he concluded, giving me one last look of disgust before turning and walking towards the front desk to check in. “Pigs sleep outside, by the way. Meet me out front in the morning.”

I barely heard his last words; I was too focused on the crest that was printed into the back of his coat. Wings. One white, one blue, twined together yet still looking as if they were flying apart from each other. I recognised that crest, how could I not? It was the wings of freedom that only the greatest players in SAO had the privilege to wear. The symbol of hope, that even players who weren’t members of its guild, devoted themselves too. Everyone was so sure it was them that would clear the final boss and free us from this hell; I was so sure of it myself.

The Scouting Legion. Levi was a member of the Scouting Legion. Ranked second on the board (first in my head) and built up of the strongest front-liners this game had to offer. How did I not notice that before? How did I not see it? It wasn’t exactly hard to miss! The colour of his coat should’ve been a tip off!

I was even angrier at myself now than I was before, slamming my fist against the floor and barring my teeth at my misfortune; my utter stupidity. I wiped the growing tears from my eyes, getting up and storming out of the restaurant, several eyes following me as I left. It was barely dawn, the orange sunlight peeking over the horizon, the temperature dropping exponentially before the arrival of the sun.

I continued walking, my feet slamming against the ground, my fists clenched by my side. I wasn’t even sure where I was going. I was just so angry. I was so miserable. I felt so humiliated. I wanted to crawl up into a ball and will the world to go away. To summon a hole in the ground to swallow me up. A giant asteroid falling from the sky and crashing into my body (could that even happen in SAO?). Anything to make this feeling go away.

I kept walking, the town disappearing behind me, the sun continuing to rise ahead of me. I stopped when my knees started to ache and my jaw started to hurt from all the clenching I was making it do. I stood there, in the middle of the path. I had no idea how far I had walked, but the sun was just above the horizon and the town was no longer visible behind me.

My knees gave way, the soft earth crumbling under my weight as I knelt there, tears dripping down my face and my hands twitching on my lap. I couldn’t do it, could I? There was no way I’d be able to meet Levi’s expectations. He was this amazing player, and the fact that he was in the Scouting Legion meant he had so much more to offer than what I had seen or heard or acknowledged. Why did I ever think it was a good idea to let him teach me? Why did I think it would be easy to team up with him? Why did I agree to this? 

I had brought this upon myself.

I slammed my fists against my forehead, willing it to hurt. This world was insane! You stuck guys like Levi and weaklings like me in the same world than expected us all to fight together like some kind of super army? How could you possibly think that, even in this world, the strong would help the weak? That’s not how things worked; that’s never how things worked. 

I wanted to hit something, to throw something, to break something. I wanted my pain to go away and become someone else’s pain. And yet, isn’t that exactly what all those stronger players are like? They make it so easy for themselves, so it’s harder for the rest of us to get anywhere. No, I don’t want to be someone who wishes my pain on someone else. But, by God, did I want to make a difference. 

The growling behind me took me off guard, the smell of an animal had me turning, seeing the pack of wolves right behind me. When had they gotten there? They were angry, too. Their blue eyes glowing at me from their dark sockets, their red coats shuddering as the muscles underneath prepared for a fight.

I was out of the safe zone. They could attack me here and I’d lost HP just fine. They continued to growl at me, their leader barking, it’s jaws dripping with spit. The pack itself was made up of level fifteen subordinates, I wouldn’t have too much trouble taking them down. The alpha, however, was level twenty. I could win; but barely.

I stood up, shaking away my thoughts, equipping my iron blade and pointed it at them, ready to fight. One shot forward, too fast for me to see, sinking its teeth into my leg and pulling, my leg came out from under me and I fell to the ground. I gasped, as another came towards me, ready to sink its teeth into my neck. I rolled out of the way, stumbling onto my feet and glancing at my health bar.

Eight hundred and fifty left? How did they drain my health so fast? I looked down at my leg, the red grid pattern that made up the wound was pretty large. The strength of that one wolf must have been pretty high for it to be able to cause that much damage at its level. Levi was right; focusing on one stat made all the difference.

I didn’t have time to collect myself before another wolf ran forward, not as fast as the other, but fast enough to slam into my stomach, knocking the wind out of me and causing me to lose my stance. Another came forward, slower than any of the others, raising its giant paw and slicing through my leg again.

I didn’t need to look to know my health was in the yellow zone. I was going to die. I was going to die here, by the paws of these ridiculous creatures, who were even a lower level then me. I was going to die on Floor 15, never seeing what else Aincrad had to offer.

But then something else came to mind as a wolf bit into my hand and dragged me to the ground once again, my face landing in the dirt. Enough about this damned virtual reality, none of it was real! What about my family, my sister? I’d never see her again. Or my friends at school? They were all relying on me to fight, to win. To survive. To go back to them.

Levi told me to think of a goal. He told me to concentrate on one thing; to focus. It would drive me forward, help me learn, help me advance. I might have already let him down, but at the same time, he was already teaching me skills I needed to know. Already helping me level up in my own way.

I saw now that he had done me a favour. It was like when you were a kid and you were playing with those building blocks, but then some mean bully came over and knocked over your tower. You cried for a little, but then the teacher came and helped you rebuild it, so it was better than before. Levi had done just that; knocked me over so I’d have to start rebuilding myself from scratch, making advancements in all the right places.

I heard the patter of pads on dirt as I guessed another wolf came for me, ready to sink his fangs into any part of my body, draining my hit points and finishing the kill. I gripped my blade, my face still in the dirt. I waited, the patter was growing louder, louder, louder. Just a little closer. 

This isn’t my goal, Levi. This is my reason to fight.

I jumped up into the air, using the little strength I had to avoid the dog’s attack, and as I came back down to earth, I slammed the blade right through the thing’s back, severing whatever virtual reality organs and bones it may or may not have had. It yelped, throwing its head back, trying to bite at me. I slammed my knee into its side, watching its health glide down the bar, turning yellow, then red, then disappearing completely.

My blade was freed as the wolf shattered around it. I didn’t waste time celebrating, turning to the next wolf who was now lunging at me. I shot forward, my blade cleaving right through it while it was still in mid-air.

There was a sudden jolt in my back as I was hit again. I merely glanced at my health bar, seeing it turn red, before turning and kicking the offending wolf in the face. I swung my blade down, catching its neck. I gave it another good kick and it shattered away too.

There was only the alpha left, who was mad at me now more than ever. Bring it, Bitch. 

And it brought it, it’s heavy body and thick coat making it almost impossible to land any blows, my blade making a sickening sound as it bounced of its skin again and again. I was running out of patience to keep avoiding this bitch’s moves. It ducked under my blade, biting me right on the thigh. I yelped, shaking the strong jaws off and leaping back, putting some distance between us. 

It was growling at me. I looked up. Eighty-five health points left. At its level, a single strike would have me finished. It charged forward, not giving me time to use a health crystal. I jumped out of the way, rolling on the dirt as I came back to my feet. It came forward again; I used the same trick.

Then I realised something about that alpha’s movements; it came forward in fast and straight bursts. I remembered now, all the other times I had defeated bosses, it was just like this. I only had to fight it for a few moments to realise all its patterns, its make and skills, when it changed abilities depending on how low its health was. I had the ability to win within me, I had practiced for hours on end in so many different games. I was inexperienced in the real world, sure; but I was a fantastic gamer.

I let the alpha shoot forward again, jumping to the side as it did, keeping my stance this time, and brought forth my blade, sinking it into her side, ripping it through the length of her body. The heavy body fell to the ground for only a moment before getting to its feet again.

You can’t win, so stay down. 

It came forward again, and all I had to do was step sideways, slicing through her side once more before her health disappeared completely, and she shattered like the rest. I had won.

I collapsed to my knees again, exhausted. I was panting, looking at my hands, gulping down large heaps of air. I had done it, survived. I had fought and won. Against a level twenty pawn. Fuck yes.

I breathed a sigh of relief, pushing myself to my feet and putting my blade back in my inventory. A notification appeared over me, letting me know I had acquired a few welding materials and a chunk of gold for my victory. But I was more amazed by the large white letters that appeared in front of it all.

‘Congratulations! Level 19!!’

I had levelled up! I jumped in the air with pride, skipping along the path for a few moments before breaking into a run back towards the town. Level nineteen! Both my speed and my agility had been promoted two points. Good. Because agility was my thing; I had decided. I could use the quick movements to leap around my foes, account for all their abilities; use that knowledge as my strongest weapon. Maybe even relay the information to Levi, who’d be fighting right by my side.

The wind as I ran felt great in my sweaty hair, the earth hard as I shifted it with my feet. It took me a good half hour before I saw the town on the horizon again; I hadn’t realised how far I had gone before. But I just kept running, not even stopping when I felt my body protest and my energy deplete. I couldn’t afford to be late.

Yet Levi wasn’t outside the inn when I finally got back. I looked around, thinking he might have visited a nearby stall while waiting for me. When that failed, I asked the innkeeper. She said he had checked in early morning but hadn’t checked out. That made sense. Realistically it had only been a few hours since we last saw each other, and he had gone to bed when the sun was just coming up; the lazy bastard was probably still sleeping.

I thanked her before going to the restaurant and ordering a plate of eggs and sausages. The gold I had earned from killing those wolves would be good for a few meals as long as I didn’t choose anything too pricey. Besides, I hadn’t even had the chance to finish off my meal last night.

As I ate, I went through my inventory, picking out things I didn’t need that I could sell off, locking my shield and blade in place so they would always be at the top of my list, ready to be equipped when I needed them most. I didn’t realise how much crap I had been carrying around. I had enough here to pay for a few weeks’ worth of meals at least. 

“Shit, I’m dumb,” I muttered to myself, putting all the items I was going to sell into a separate apartment of my inventory.

“That’s probably the smartest thing you’ve said since I met you,” I heard a deep voice behind me. I whirled around, seeing Levi sitting beside me and ordering his own breakfast. It was only a simple plate of toast and jam but I was actually eager to see how he ate that, if it was as intriguing as how he ate roast beef. 

I closed my menu, going back to my own plate. Neither of us spoke. The silence was thick and uncomfortable. I didn’t know where to begin. Should I apologise? But I hadn’t really done anything wrong. Thank for him for what he had taught me? That seemed something I should say.

I turned to him. He had cut apart the toast into little squares, once again making sure there was an equal portion of jam on each before using a fork to starting putting it in his mouth. He took a swig of water, swallowing quickly and speaking before I could start.

“How many did you kill?” He asked simply, not even looking up from his plate. I ground my teeth together inside my mouth, trying not to look as confused as I was. There was always a point to what Levi had to say, and it was always relatively clear. I didn’t want to be stumped by his words any more; I wanted to be able to know what he was really telling me every time he spoke.

He had to be talking about the wolves. After all, that was the only thing I had killed in a week or so. Don’t ask me how he knew about it. Maybe he followed me last night; he must’ve noticed that I had stormed out. Maybe he followed me to make sure I didn’t get into any trouble, keeping an eye on me before realising I was fine on my own.

My chest swelled with gratification. Maybe I wouldn’t have died, even without my sudden epiphany.

“Uh, four,” I told him, trying to keep my voice steady. I was still rather nervous about talking to him again. I was proud of my achievement, but I didn’t think he would be. “Three level fifteens, a level twenty alpha. But how did you-“

“You’re a higher level now. I can see your status bar, remember?” I glanced up at the bar again, realising it had turned yellow again and was steadily growing thanks to the food I was consuming. I didn’t even think about replenishing my health. “What? Did you think I followed you or something? And waste precious sleeping hours? I don’t think so.”

I sputtered at him, trying to look indignant at his words, as if the very thought of him following me repulsed me. 

Just because you can somehow read my mind, doesn’t mean you should!

Of course I was being stupid. That kind of skill didn’t exist; I was probably just really easy to read.

“What decision did you come to?” he still hadn’t looked at me. I’m kind of glad; he’d probably kick me again.

“I’ll focus on building up my agility,” I stated. There was a moment of silence while he finished his water and put another bit of toast in his mouth, chewing carefully and considering the choice I had made. 

“Really? Are you sure?”

I was stumped. To be honest, I hadn’t really thought about it at all. It just seemed natural to choose a stat that I was already pretty good at naturally. The other skills that I could build up to help it were limited as well, which gave me a smaller window of what I was focusing on. Wasn’t that the point he had made last night while his boot was on my face?

“I’m already good at reading movements and avoiding certain attacks. My speed is already pretty good and I can build up my strength and special attacks to accompany it. I already own light armour and my iron blade doesn’t take that much strength to wield. Besides, it’s the skill I relied on most in other games.”

“Fine,” he only said. I only nodded, hoping that was enough for him. I didn’t really need his approval anyway; this was my choice, my decision, what I wanted to work for. If he had told me he didn’t like it, I felt like I really wouldn’t have cared.

“You’ve obviously had a lot of time to think,” he was saying now, his chin resting on his hands. He was still looking forward, at the different meals displayed on the board in front of him. I wondered whether he was going to order something else to eat. “What about your goal?”

I had already expected this question, and if he hadn’t asked it, I still would’ve told him. It was simple, and pretty predictable considering the circumstances. But just like my agility, it was still my choice. 

“I’m going to reach Floor 100,” I was resolute about it, my voice sounding actually proud of itself for the first time since Levi had sat down beside him. “I’m going to help the front-liners clear the final boss and I’m going back home. I want to escape Sword Art Online.”

He was silent, expressionless. He finally turned to me, and his eyes had me shivering all over. That special kind of loathing that he held only for me had completely swallowed his eyes, his brows furrowed at me. He looked positively furious.

“That’s the stupidest goal you could’ve possibly thought of. And just when I thought you had gone and acquired yourself some brains, too.”

My own eyebrows furrowed, my green irises filled with anger. I wasn’t upset, I was furious. I wasn’t humiliated, I was considering murder. Did he honestly think I couldn’t do it? That I couldn’t reach the front lines?

“You think I can’t make it to the front lines?” I asked him, anger seething from my voice. I didn’t care how skilled Levi was anymore, he was being an arrogant ass.

“I didn’t say that,” he had dropped his hands now, had crossed his arms over his chest, mulling over his thoughts as he stared at his empty plate. “If you get good enough, you’ll have no problems getting to the front lines.”

“Then you’re worried I’m going to get killed or something?”

“You need to stop thinking that I’m actually concerned about your wellbeing. That’s not it either.”

“Then why!?” I didn’t care that I was shouting, I didn’t care that almost everybody in the restaurant was now looking at us, probably hoping there would be a fight like there was last night. “Why is it so stupid to want to go back to the real world?”

“Because it is the real world,” he had turned to me again. He had no emotion in his voice, like always. He was telling me this as if it was a fact, as if I should know this. “The real world is piss, the real world isn’t for anybody. Murderers, blood-shed, religion, homophobic assholes. There’s no logic to any of it.”

“There are still murderers in this game! The fact that it’s live or die hasn’t deterred assholes from taking what they can from the weak! You experienced that yourself last night!” I had stood up and was looking down on him, my fury written all over my trembling body.

“There aren’t nearly as many,” he continued as if I wasn’t even there. “Against the seven billion people outside this game, I certainly prefer the less than ten thousand that reside in this world. Within those less than ten thousand, there are actually more people that will help those weaker than them than there is in a population where we could do more. The real world shouldn’t exist. Akihiko Kayaba is a legend. He made this game a living revolution for us all, and everybody’s shitting themselves simply because he made it so much more realistic. I don’t know why everybody is so intent on logging out; I never planned to leave in the first place.”

I wanted to hit him. I really did. But something occurred to me while I was clenching my fist, readying it for an attack. In those blue eyes, that impassive, steely colour, was a hell of a lot of pain. I could see it. He covered it well enough with his general disregard for anything remotely interesting, disguised it with his own power that he thought nothing of. But he was just like me; the real world had let him suffer and hadn’t done a thing to give back what it had taken away. I had my own reasons for resenting the real world, but I still saw the good in it that made me want to return. Levi didn’t. This was his resolution, his reason to fight.

He hadn’t given up, committed suicide, jumped off a building either here or there. He had simply taken his anger and forged it into a living, breathing weapon that only he could wield. He fought to stay in this place that was now a sanctuary for people like him; he fought to stay alive in this world, but for an entirely different reason than the rest of us.

He was looking at me still, expecting me to react in a negative way. How could I? I still believed he was entirely wrong, but yet I understood that he was entirely right. I was torn between agreeing with him and wanting to make him realise what was outside the binary code that made up the environment around us. But I knew a resolution like that, I had one myself. It wouldn’t be shaken. It wouldn’t be broken. And really, what right did I have to even try?

“Do you resent me?” he asked. And maybe that was the only emotion I had heard in his voice the whole time I knew him, because he sounded like he was sincerely sorry for dropping such a bombshell on me.

I unclenched my fists, lowering myself back into my chair, breathing through the subsiding anger.

“No,” I answered honestly. “You have your reasons, I have mine. Let’s leave it at that.”

He quirked an eyebrow at me, nodding solemnly before standing up. As he walked away, I looked at the wings that were branded into his coat. They almost fluttered against his back, making his steps seem longer and more elegant, as if he was gliding rather than walking. It was almost beautiful to watch.

I stood up myself, leaving some gold on the table as a tip from the both of us (sort of a reimbursement for all the commotion) and followed him out. The sun was higher up now, casting a heavy warmth on the town and its inhabitants. It was going to be another nice day. Then again, we never really got bad weather in Aincrad unless the floor allowed it; I hadn’t seen a thunderstorm in months.

“C’mon,” Levi ushered me forward. “Let’s go to the item shop and get rid of all your crap, we might be able to get you a few agility crystals as well to give you a head start.”

I nodded in agreement, walking beside him down the street towards our destination.

It almost felt like nothing had changed from last night; yet I knew so much had. I knew far more about Levi then I’d ever think I’d learn, and I knew a hell of a lot more about myself than I did five hours ago. Had it only been five hours since I had met Levi? That can’t be right. But as I mulled it over, I realised I was right.

I guess what they say is true; time flies when you’re having fun.


	4. Know You Better

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What I heard, how I heard it, made my heart ache. He was afraid to ask. How many times had Levi been rejected because of something he couldn’t help about himself? How many people had kicked him out of their lives because they were too afraid to accept something they thought was different about him, but was in fact a part of him the entire time? He was afraid I’d do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Erk fuck these two sideways! JFC!
> 
> 8D I love them.
> 
> Enjoy character development people!

When I had first met Levi, I had thought he was some kind of lightning element personified. I knew he was just a person, but his speed was so high. Watching him lay all those hits onto Jack was like watching a severe thunderstorm during the summer. Watching flash after flash of high density static light up the sky, hit its target, and then retreat back into the clouds. Only with Levi, it was watching his sword fly out from his stance, attack it’s victim, then disappear back by his side for only a moment before it was time for the next hit.

It was hypnotic to say the least. Though it had never occurred to me that, when fighting Jack, Levi could be holding back. The bastard that had tried to sleep-PK him had only been a level twenty-one, and though that had been high to me at the time, to Levi, it was like looking down at an ant and deciding whether or not to crush it, or let it be. It never occurred to me that he could have more riding under his belt.

The bear-like creature growled at me, rushing forward, its teeth dripping with a paralysis venom I seriously did not feel like encountering today. Even with the medicine crystals at my disposal, I wasn’t going to give myself an opportunity to use them. Besides, this bear was level fifteen. Maybe it would’ve been a challenge to me a couple of weeks ago, but as I am now, it was child’s fodder. 

I let it come forward, taking quick steps back as it continued towards me, getting out of its reach until it became irritated enough to simply stand up on its hind legs, its paws swiping towards me. Yes, that’s what I needed. I held up my shield, the resounding clang as the claws hit the defence tool was loud and I could feel the hum through my arm.

The bear’s paw ricocheted, its feet stumbling. It was off balance; staggered.

“Levi! Switch!” I shouted, leaping out of the way to let my fellow party member dash forward. Levi had put little to no effort into the mid-level boss fights we had encountered over the weeks. But it wasn’t for lack of trying. If he went in and took a swing at full power, our opponents would disappear and I’d be left with nothing. This was about training me after all. I tried to keep that in the front of mine, always pushing myself to the limits, trying new things, experimenting with how I moved during battle.

But despite his little effort, he was still a blur. A mix of green, blue and white, shooting past me, bringing his blade back and letting the tip shine. The bear tried to right itself, tried to bring its paw forward again to lay a hit, but I had done a good job of staggering it. Levi let the tip of his sword fly forward, right into the bear’s stomach.

The last of its HP drained away, it shattered into a thousand luminous pieces of glass, evaporating into the environment around us. A congratulations window opened over the both of us, showing we had acquired a measly amount of money, as well as some poisons we could either sell or use on enemies later. 

An additional banner appeared over me, flashing white and telling me I had acquired two more agility points, as well as a defence point, to go with my new level thirty title. I beamed. 

It had been almost been three weeks since I had met Levi, since we had made our deal, but I was advancing at an incredible rate. I seemed to be reaching level after level, my agility and the accompanying skills expanding quickly, and we had managed to make our way to floor twenty-two with little hitches. 

Levi, of course, was my biggest help. Not only was he my main motivation to get stronger as fast as I could, but having a party member that was as great as him meant having good insurance. Because he was such a high-level, we could take on higher-level bosses then if we were both at the same level. It meant more experience points, and meant I leveled up faster. I had only seen Levi gain a single level since he had joined me, but the little experience that came from the bosses we fought meant nothing to him.

“Another level, huh?” I heard Levi’s deep voice come up behind me. “Weren’t you only level twenty-nine an hour ago?”

I grinned at him, showing him how proud of myself I was. Levi never showed any kind of pride in me, but I soon learnt not to expect it. I had at first thought that perhaps Levi was my teacher and I, the student. I felt pretty silly after a while, realizing this wasn’t the case. Levi might be mentoring me, but we certainly didn’t hold the kind of relationship a student and teacher might. I didn’t even know what to call our relationship.

It was because of this, I learnt to act as I please around him, giving up on trying to act in a way that would make him take interest. This actually seemed to please him the most, and he stopped scowling at me so much once I just fell into step and sort of trailed behind him, listening to what he told me, taking it all into account, than applying it in battle.

Needless to say, he still scowled at me, but it had softened considerably.

“Yeah! At this rate, I’ll have caught up to you in no time!” I put the poisons we had earned into our mutual inventory.

“Ah, I see now. You’re starting to get spoiled,” he said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You gain a few levels and think you’re some big hot shot. Like a kid who’s given too many presents and thinks the world revolves around it.”

I frowned at him. It was just like him to bring me down from my good mood. 

“I’m not getting cocky or anything! I was just saying…”

“Saying you’ll overpower me? Maybe I should leave you now then before you’ve got the chance.”

I let out a heavy sigh. 

“Will anything I say please you?” Unlikely.

“Unlikely.”

See?

“But you can buy me lunch to make up for your rudeness,” he continued, turning around and heading back towards the trail that would lead back towards town. Honestly, I think he was just baiting me so I’d be forced to buy him lunch anyway.

I had finally caught up on my finances, now having accumulated enough col, the name of the currency in this world, to be able to pay for myself. This also meant we had ongoing wages as to who was to buy dinner and lunches. Sometimes I lost, sometimes he lost. Though I know Levi lost on purpose; otherwise I’d be back to square one again from buying him so many crème brulees. The bastard had expensive tastes.

I jogged to catch up to him, letting the silence fall over us as we made our way down the path. Floor Twenty-Two wasn’t your average place for level grinding, more just a scenic floor that a lot of people used as a vacation spot. It didn’t have many bosses around here either, which made it pretty worthless to our cause. But it was by far the prettiest floor.

Mountain ranges made up the entire horizon, the sky blending in with the blue of the mountains. The forest was so green and always smelt so damp and fresh, like it was about to rain, though it rarely did. The wildlife was so tame as well; that bear only attacked us because we attacked it first.

“I think I might actually miss this floor,” I uttered softly, more thinking out loud than anything.

Levi gave me a look I could barely read, though I was pretty sure it had something to do with the fact that I had just said I’d miss something Sword Art Online had to offer. The whole ‘beating the game’ subject was a sore point for the both of us, so we avoided it to keep the peace. 

“I come here often when I get sick of the nitwits in my guild,” he told me, looking out at the mountain range I also had my eye on. “I’m always considering buying a vacation house out here; it’s not like it wouldn’t be worth it.”

I smiled at the thought of being able to come back here regularly without the fear of expensive inn rooms gnawing at the back of my mind. Then again, being able to go anywhere without expensive inn rooms gnawing at the back of my mind would be nice. I had money, but I was still a fair way off from being able to avoid a house or anything. For now, I had my eye on a new shield.

The one I had at the moment was getting pretty old, and it was time for an upgrade. I was thinking of commissioning one, getting it made especially for my needs; light and small, but strong enough to handle really strong blows. 

“Eren,” Levi’s voice cut through my fantasies of having gold inlay on the edges of the shield.

“Oh, yeah?”

“How comfortable are you with your fighting style?”

What a weird question to ask, especially by Levi’s standards. I tried to think about the question, wondering what he meant by it. 

“I’m fairly confident with it; I can stagger easy enough with my shield, and it gives me something to defend myself with while I read the enemy’s movements,” I told him.

“You stagger fine enough.” Was that a compliment? “But what about attacking? Getting on the offensive?” 

I tried to think about that too. Now that I did think about it, I didn’t actually do all that much sword work. I had always been the one to stagger the opponent so Levi could come in and take the swipes that would eat away at the opponent’s health. It had been a good routine, so I wasn’t sure why Levi was unhappy with it.

“My blade is light but it’s dependable. I could easily land some good hits on the next boss.”

“We’ll switch roles then,” he announced. I was a little shocked at this, but tried not to look too indignant at the new fighting arrangements. Levi always had a reason behind what he said; it was never just thinking out loud or pondering over different possibilities.

“Okay. But can I ask why?” I probably couldn’t.

“It’s fine to take the brunt of the attack and then let your party members handle getting their hands dirty. It’s the safest way of taking down a simple boss like that bear, and with your ability to read movements, it makes it the easiest way. But what about when you’re alone?”

I thought about this. If I tried taking a pawn down alone, I wouldn’t be able to get very far. Most of my practice had gone into defending, so I hadn’t built up my sword skills despite my growing ability to leap around my foe with little to no problems. 

“I see now.”

We walked a little further down the path before Levi stopped, motioning to something to the side. When I looked closely, I could see that it was another one of those bears. It was only lying in the sun, not hurting anyone. I almost felt bad for taking down such innocent creatures, but the experience points they gave made up for it, and it’s not like they didn’t re-spawn.

“Ready?” I heard Levi ask. I looked at him, his eyes telling me I had better be, or else. I nodded, unsheathing my blade from its hold on my waist, equipping my shield from my inventory. We both entered the bear’s territory.

It didn’t even notice us, snoozing on with little interest to its surroundings. I could see Levi pick up a stone, applying a skill to it so it glowed in its hand. He looked at me again; I gave him a reassuring nod. He let the stone fly. The sound it made as it hit the bear’s side resembled that of when you throw a stone against a shed wall. The bear awoke instantly, and it was furious.

“Keep your stance,” Levi instructed me calmly, ushering the bear towards him. “Get ready to go in. I’m only going to stagger it once; the rest is up to you.”

I gripped my blade’s handle tighter. I might be nervous, but I wasn’t going to back down. Besides, Levi wouldn’t give me this task if he didn’t have any faith in me, right?

The bear growled, barring its teeth and heading towards Levi. He let his sword do the defending, showing the bear the flat of the blade. The bear’s muzzle hit it, sending it back, making a noise that reminded me of when you stepped on the tail of a dog.

“Switch!” He called.

I went forward, using the forward momentum I had from my run up to slice my blade through the bear’s side. It cried out, landing heavily on its feet, turning towards me. It didn’t waste any time, barreling towards me now, barring its teeth, ready to bite.

I raised my shield, bracing myself. It’s muzzled crashed into the metal, the bear making that annoying squashed-dog’s tail noise again. There was a problem with what I had just done, though. It was staggered, but so was I. 

I flailed a bit, getting my feet back on the ground, but by this time the bear had done the same, charging at me again. I didn’t have any time to prepare, its canines sinking into my side. I grunted, more out of habit than actual pain, and slammed my elbow into its face, the bear letting go and backing away, growling.

“Don’t defend!” I heard Levi instruct. “Avoid!”

“Right!” The bear came forward again. I knew what it was planning to do; I knew that run, the ambition in its eyes. It leapt into the air, ready to crash into my head, rip off my neck. I don’t think so. I rolled out of the way, landing back on my feet, but the bear landed on the ground behind me and turned to charge quickly towards me.

Dammit! I was too used to staggering that move; avoiding it had done nothing. I raised my shield again; both me and the stupid bear staggering slightly. At least I didn’t lose anymore HP.

There was a flash, the bear letting out a loud cry and backing away slightly. Levi had intervened, buying me some time to right myself and think of a strategy.

I stared, wide-eyed, at nothing in particular, trying to set my mind straight. I panted, winded from my wound. I shook my head. This wasn’t the time to show weakness for the first time since we had left Floor Fifteen. Maybe Levi wasn’t proud of my achievements, but at my rate, he wasn’t irritated at them either. I had to keep that rate up, I didn’t want him to get tired of me.

And I had to admit; I definitely wanted to impress him. One day I would. One day he’d look at me with that same kind of amazement I constantly looked at him with.

“Eren,” he started.

“I know!” I cut in. “Just give me a sec. I’ll match my attacks to its movements, move around them, attack while it’s attacking.”

“That’s all well and good. But lose your shield.”

I stared at his back. I could see the bear righting itself beyond him, shaking off the shock from its wound, getting ready to charge at us again. 

“What!?” I cried. Levi turned, no sense of regret in the cobalt of his eyes. He had a reason for this. I grunted, before heading his words, putting my shield back into my inventory and shaking out my arm from the weight.

“Ready then?” He didn’t wait for my reply, skipping out of the way. 

I didn’t know what I was supposed to do though. I didn’t have anyway of defending myself. What if I screwed up again and created an opportunity for it to attack me? What if I dropped my blade and was only relying on my hands to attack? Levi wouldn’t let me die, would he? 

The bear came towards me, roaring loudly, absolutely agitated. I held my blade, my eyes darting over its limbs, trying to pick up on its movements. It launched itself onto its hind legs, just like the bear before, raising its paw, claws gleaming in the afternoon sun.

I saw my opportunity, darting forward, slicing at its open stomach before it could land a hit on me. It roared loudly. I took the chance, laying a backhand slash on its arm. It roared again. I leapt back, landing on the grass in a crouch, using the power I had built up to jump up into the air.

I could see the bear glaring and growling at me from below. I could see Levi watching me, judging my movements and actions. I had no idea what he had been thinking-

I came down, blade first, stabbing right through the bear’s head.

-but it had worked.

I let the bear shatter underneath me, letting myself fall to the ground, landing clumsily onto my feet. Once I had a solid stance, I gazed at my arm, at the experience points that were now being collected, at the awards we had achieved. 

Where had that come from? That confidence, that move. Where had my hesitation gone? Or my reliance on Levi? I hadn’t been thinking about him at all when I had done that move, simply thinking about how I could kill the stupid bear. It had only come to me at the last possible moment.

“Not bad,” I heard Levi say to me. I turned to him, my eyes still wide, staring at his expressionless face.

“Wh- th- I-“ I gasped and sputtered. I couldn’t get any words out.

“You were relying too much on your shield,” he explained to me. “I wondered if I took it away, whether you would be able to play the moves I know you’re capable of. Once your shield was gone, your main defence, you were left to rely solely on your skills of reading movements and thinking of ways to counter them. It works better than simply standing there and tiring out your opponent.”

I nodded, dumb-founded.

Always a reason…

“Hey, Levi,” I finally spoke. My voice was weak with shock, amazement. I hadn’t known, but he did. He had known what kind of power I possessed, the abilities I could come up with in the blink of an eye. He knew what I was capable of, and I didn’t. I looked at him, starring at his face, at his eyes that were looking at me. What else did he know?

“How many crème brulees are you in the mood for tonight?” I finished. I was going to buy him as many as he wanted from now until we parted ways. It was the least I could do to thank him.

~~~

“Why is it so embarrassing?”

“It’s not embarrassing.”

“Then why won’t you tell me?”

“I have my reasons.”

“Name one!”

“How about I tip your chair over again if you don’t stop asking me? Is that a good enough reason for you?”

We were both settled at a table in the restaurant of the local inn. Levi had ordered three crème brulees for dinner. I was shocked with how much of a child he could be: dessert for dinner? So I took it upon myself to order the biggest piece of apple pie they could serve me at the time; which had been half of the pie itself.

A backwards kind of meal for a backwards kind of day.

Dinner (if you could call it that) had been going relatively smoothly, until I had asked Levi a simple question; where had he come from? He had answered with ‘The Town of Beginnings’ which is the first town you ever saw when you started Sword Art Online. I only gave him an irritated look before asking him about his real world origin. He had clammed up at that.

“I’ll tell you where I’m from,” I tried bargaining.

“You’re from Germany,” he deadpanned, placing a small bit of dessert into his mouth, closing his eyes to savor the taste.

“How did you know!?”

“You told me earlier your last name is Jaeger. It wasn’t that hard to figure out.”

“So what’s your last name?”

“I think I’ll order another crème brulee, really wrack up that bill you offered to pay.”

I scowled at him. I know Levi was obsessed with the very idea of Sword Art Online. With its alternative life style and fantasy sceneries, with its safe haven for people with a past they didn’t want to accept. But I still couldn’t comprehend why simply talking about the real world was such a hard thing for him?

“I know so little about you, yet you know almost everything about me! My age, where I’m from, my real name, my school life, my grades…”

“I don’t need the receipt. And if I remember correctly, I didn’t ask to know that stuff about you. You just started telling me about your life one day.”

“You didn’t tell me to shut up…” In fact, when I was talking about my life back home, it was the only time Levi didn’t tell me to shut up. I wonder why that is? He couldn’t be interested in my life? Of course, that never stopped me from telling him about it.

He went quiet, concentrating on breaking off some of the crust of his dessert, fixating on one little crumb, trying to pick it up with his fork. I stared at him, wondering, always wondering. I irritably shoved another bite of pie into my mouth.

What had happened to Levi to make him resent his world outside this game, but be so fascinated by the lives that other’s led? Why had he wanted to leave, to not come back? I was smart enough to know those were personal questions in of themselves, so refrained from asking them. But I still couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t tell me anything at all about his life outside.

“Can I order another one?” he was looking at me, genuinely asking for another dessert. I choked on the piece of pie that was in my mouth, the sincerity that covered his face made me want to cry. It was so cute.

Cute…

That was not a word I would normally use to describe someone like Levi. Maybe I would call it beautiful? Well, it definitely was. His eyes were completely serene, his lashes fluttering against his pale cheeks as he blinked, waiting for my response. 

Yes. Beautiful.

“S-sure,” I finally answered. 

It was silent for a while, except for Levi calling over the waitress, ordering another crème brulee and a glass of champagne to go with it. I ate, contemplating some things about Levi, going back over the conversations we had had.

There were so many. For the amount of times he told me to be quiet, or at least to talk about something relevant to the situation we were in, I found there were actually quite a few pointless conversations we had had together that made me feel closer to Levi, despite knowing nothing about him.

As I was rewinding my memories, going back over the first few times we had ever engaged each other’s company, something struck a chord with me. I stopped eating, looking over to Levi, who seemed happy enough to be eating his new desert; apparently the champagne was complimenting it nicely.

“Hey, Levi?”

He made a small hum of acknowledgement.

“Are you gay?”

It didn’t even faze him. I expected him to choke on his sip of champagne, or to glare at me like he was going to rip my innards out while I was sleeping, or at least for him to blink. He did nothing of the sort, simply swallowing elegantly and putting his glass down softly.

“You surprise me. You can’t tell where I’m from, despite the various clues I have left, even if I didn’t want to. But I’ve given you little to no knowledge of my sexuality, and you get it bang on. What tipped you off? My eating habits? My tendency to know which wine goes with what food? The way I dress?”

He didn’t dress all that differently to any one else. The only thing different about his style was the cravat that he was always wearing, but I was still convinced he came from nobility, so it would be just natural for him to be adorning something fancy like that.

“Nothing like that.” What surprised me most was how unaffected I was about knowing he was gay. I wasn’t a homophobe; of course, it was none of my business whether Levi liked men or women or both. But I thought I would be shocked to learn that Levi of all people was gay. He just didn’t carry that kind of air. Though I’d be stupid to think he wasn’t gay just because he hadn’t been hitting on me.

“I just remember, back on Floor Fifteen, when you were telling me about the murderers and crappy religions that are in the real world, you also mentioned ‘homophobic assholes’. I know you wouldn’t have said that unless you had a sound reasoning behind it.”

He stared at me now, contemplating me, resting his chin on his hand, leaning heavily on the surface of the table.

“You continue to amaze me,” he said simply, in the softest voice I had ever heard him use. I gulped, looking down at my pie only to realise I had finished it all. 

“You never look amazed,” I commented. Pushing aside my plate, only slightly disappointed that Dessert For Dinner Night had ended. 

“Because I know if I start to look surprised for you, you’ll let it go to your head.” Levi dragged my plate towards him, cutting his crème brulee in half and sliding the untouched part onto my plate, then sliding it back to me. He also tipped half of his champagne into my empty beer glass. I wasn’t much of a fan of champagne, but I said a quiet thanks anyway.

“Maybe,” I said, putting some of the dessert into my mouth as a test. It was then that I understood exactly why Levi was so intent on using up all my funds on these; I was tempted to do the same. They were delicious.

“Does it change how you think of me?”

What I heard, how I heard it, made my heart ache. He was afraid to ask. How many times had Levi been rejected because of something he couldn’t help about himself? How many people had kicked him out of their lives because they were too afraid to accept something they thought was different about him, but was in fact a part of him the entire time? He was afraid I’d do the same.

I shoveled a huge amount of crème brulee into my mouth, frowning and talking around it.

“’Course not!” I said defiantly. I could see Levi trying not to look so relieved, but it must have been a pretty strong feeling for it to be even hinted in his features. “You being gay doesn’t affect your level or how you fight. It doesn’t even affect how you act around me, so why should it affect how I act around you?”

Levi looked at me, his lips twitching slightly. He might have smiled, maybe, if he had allowed himself. 

~~~

The night was quiet. This floor wasn’t densely populated to begin with, so when night fell, mostly everyone went indoors. There was no muffling of loud conversation outside, no clanking as weapons were exchanged or shown off, not even screeches of pets and beasts as they were displayed for the public to see. It was almost eerie.

I lay wide awake in my bed, mulling over the events of the day. Since meeting Levi, each and every day in Sword Art Online was filled with action, adventure, lessons, scowling blue eyes. I had grown so used to it all. But this was all physical or mental stimulations; learning new ways to move or discovering how certain beasts attacked. I hadn’t had such an emotional work out for a while.

I don’t know why I was so curious about Levi. We were comrades on the battle field, we had each other’s backs, he helped me expand how I thought, how I felt as I moved my blade; that was all there was to our relationship, right? Besides, with the way things were going, we wouldn’t be together for more than a few months. I shouldn’t get attached to someone I know won’t stick around.

Maybe I was a little hopeful that, when we reached Floor Sixty, Levi would have grown accustomed to me enough to want to keep in touch. He still hadn’t allowed me to add him to my friends list, despite how I kept telling him it was a good way for us to keep track of one another. Maybe that would change.

But I didn’t want to give myself false hope. 

Yet, Levi said that I continued to surprise him. Maybe I had more of an effect on him than I originally thought? 

We are so different, him and I. Physically, mentally, emotionally. He was so intent on staying within the confines of Sword Art Online’s world; so intent on remaining in a world that welcomed him fully. I understood why a little more now, even though I had a feeling Levi had plenty more reasons he was still hiding from me.

My only goal in this game was to win, to return home to my sister and my father, to go back to school, to graduate, to forget this whole ordeal had ever happened. Even as I think this, I can hear the little voice in the back of my head screaming; doesn’t that mean forgetting Levi?

I shake the voice away, pulling the sheet up higher over my chin, determined to let sleep take me now. I won’t think about those things, the questions, our goals, what they mean once we part ways. After all, I’m not getting attached. Levi is definitely my friend (on my side, anyway) but he is also, in a way, my fellow soldier. 

Both of us hold a silent agreement to keep our relationship as business like as possible, no matter the bonds we might create or may have already created. I’m not getting attached. Levi’s arrogant, anyway. Full of himself, really. With his skills full of grace, cool-headed attitude, as if nothing in the world matters to him but gaining another level, another ability. 

That’s right, that’s all that matters to Levi. I reminded myself that that was his choice, his resolution.

I’m not getting attached.

I’m not…


	5. Water In My Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was such a blow to the gut as well. It had happened so fast. Suddenly, all those content looks I had seen Levi give me, all those sort-of compliments he had handed me, they all seemed to have resided within my imagination.  
> I felt like an idiot for believing for a second we were friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know if I like this chapter but it's the only way I could think of going about it. Anyway: here! Have some cutie patooties! o (>v

“Levi, switch!”

The man shot forward.  As always, I saw blue light left in his wake as he ran.  I still wasn’t sure whether that blue light was just in my imagination, or because he was just that fast.  Either way, it was beautiful to watch.

Levi raised his blade, bringing it forward towards the staggered monster, slicing through its virtual flesh.  That red grid pattern appeared on its side, its white fur having given way to the tell-tale sign of damage.  Both of us held our ground as we watched the last of its health fall.  The thing, some kind of giant, white cat, froze for only for a moment before erupting into the thousands of shards of light that told us we had defeated it.

I breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing and sheathing my blade in the holster on the bottom my back.  I dusted the snow off my coat and adjusted the gloves I was wearing.  Little snowflakes had fallen into my hair and had melted on my scalp.  I brushed them away and pulled up my hood to better protect myself from the elements.

I hadn’t known it could snow on Floor Thirty, but with the holiday season coming up, Levi had told me we’d be hard pressed to find a floor that wouldn’t be covered in the stuff.  I was excited.  I loved the snow, and to find that it was more common here than it was back home had made me rather giddy.  Though it also left me slightly homesick.

I tried not to think of home.  It was too painful.  I wasn’t close to finishing SAO yet, so didn’t want to start believing that I’d see my family soon.  I was slightly distraught at the thought of not spending Christmas with them.  Though Christmas was still a good month away: miracles happen after all.

“We beat it!” I exclaimed, pulling my feet out from the snow that had piled around them, crunching through the ice towards Levi, who was mulling over the items the cat had dropped.  He seemed to be concentrating rather hard on something though.  Maybe it had dropped something it wasn’t supposed to?

“What’s wrong?” I asked, reaching him and glancing over his shoulder.

“It dropped a rare item,” Levi simply said.  “Crowning Glory.  It looks like a pretty decent sword too.”

I gasped at the name, reading the screen in front of Levi to double check what I had just heard was true.  I could hardly believe it…

“C-Crowning Glory?  _The_ Crowning Glory?”  I was sputtering, hardly able to believe it.  It was true I didn’t know quite as much about SAO as I should, but spending my earlier days mindlessly sitting in taverns and looking at the measly amount of col I owned, had made me a rather good listener.  I heard things that others tried to keep secret: sometimes it was gossip about someone cheating on their girlfriend, other times it was about an amazing item you could obtain by completing a certain quest, and other times it was about legendary armour and weapons.  I had heard about Crowning Glory back when I had first started SAO, back when I had I believed I had a chance in hell of actually getting anywhere in this game. 

But it was only a brief conversation between two low-level players, so I had brushed it off as a rumour, or at least a sword that only resided in the history that Aincrad had created for itself.

“You know of it?” Levi turned to me, slightly surprised that I knew something he didn’t.

Over the last few weeks, especially after finding out about Levi’s big secret, he had seemed to relax more and more around me.  He wasn’t so gun hoe about keeping himself locked away and certainly didn’t seem nearly as irritated with me anymore.  Though he still refused to tell me anything about his life outside the game (though I didn’t plan on giving up just yet), it was nice to know I wasn’t such a burden on him anymore.  I think he could feel me progressing easier and easier as we went higher and higher up the floors.

“I thought it was just a legend!” I exclaimed, my eyes glued to the curved letters that were displayed in front of Levi.  “I heard somewhere, back on the first few floors, that there was a sword that had once been favoured by a king, and because of that, had its own ability to favour its wielder.  I think that part is all made up, but its capabilities are still extremely high.  I can’t believe you got it from such a low-level mid-boss…”

The term ‘low-level’ was used rather lightly though.  That cat had easily been a level forty-five, something I wouldn’t have dared venture towards if it wasn’t for Levi.  Though my level thirty-eight wasn’t something to laugh at anymore.  I was growing more and more confident in my abilities as well, in how I wielded my blade and how I was able to avoid enough attacks to keep from getting too injured during our grinding expeditions.

Still, a sword as amazing as this shouldn’t have been residing in the inventory of a level forty-fiver. 

Levi pressed the name of the sword, watching it materialise in front of us.  He gripped the handle, holding it up for the both of us to see, twisting and admiring it as the sun light glinted off the turquoise blade.  If its abilities turned out to be something to scoff at, there was no doubt its appearance was definitely something to admire. 

It was a rather short sword, and the blade was extremely thin.  I imagined it had been adapted for a speed type, so would hold a few extra stat points dedicated to it.  The way the blade reflected the light made it seem as if it was made of water, though the solidly built grip told me it would easily hold its own in any boss fight.

My heart was beating fast in my chest at the thought of being able to see such a thing in action, being able to watch Levi wield it’s fine point, watch him take down countless  enemies with its glorious shine.

“That’s rather clever of you, Akihiko,” Levi muttered. 

I made a questioning grunt at him.

“It’s come to be expected that high-level weapons reside within high-level bosses.  Greedy players would only aim for them, expecting to find this, say, within the hide of a large dragon or between the teeth of a basilisk.  To hide it within a much simpler mid-level boss such as that cat is a stroke of genius.  No one would think to look for it there.”

Levi flipped the sword around so he was holding it by the blade, pointing the grip at me.  I flinched slightly at the fast movements, despite my belief that Levi would never actually use a sword on me.

“And you think Kayaba is crazy.”

I used a finger to shift the grip away from my face.

“Well he is, but I think we both know that comes down to a matter of opinion.  Still, it was good luck we found the right boss to beat.  Imagine how many items we can get now that you’ve got such an amazing blade.”

It’s not that Levi’s own sword wasn’t powerful, because my God it was.  He had told me that he had had it customised to his own specific tastes, having made it as light as possible while making sure it had a high durability.  Because of this, it didn’t deal much damage, its attack being rather low, but somehow, Levi made it work for him.  Though the way his sword continued to disappear into the sides and flanks of all the bosses we had encountered at a speed I couldn’t comprehend told me his special ability made up for the lack of attack he had placed on it.

But imagining him using such a sword as Crowning Glory would be like watching your favourite character come back to life after having watched them die so many episodes before.  It would be like that time I had seen those falcons hunt at the zoo; graceful and powerful, all of its movements made with a purpose.

“It’s not mine,” he stated, shoving the grip back into my face, hitting my forehead with it.  “You take it.  You know more about it than me, after all.”

I rubbed at my forehead, looking at him with that dumbfounded expression I knew he hated.  He sighed irritably at me, scrunching up his own forehead and rubbing his temples.

“Look, Eren,” he used my name.  This must be serious if he was using my name.  “You’re progressing nicely, faster than I ever thought you would, but if you’ve got a sword like this, it means you can take down higher-level monsters on your own.  It also means you’ll level up faster because you’ll be able to take in experience at a faster rate.  The speed this thing will give you isn’t something to laugh at it either.  Now take it.”

I did as he told me, un-equipping my old blade and equipping the sword Levi was offering to me.  It was slightly heavier in my hands, a testament to just how much more skilled it was.  I slashed the air with it a few times, feeling the air around me almost vibrate with the intensity of the movements.  I held it up, feeling my arm adjust to the idea of holding an entirely new weapon.

“Let’s head back now,” I heard Levi say.  “I’ve got a couple of things I need appraised and I want to do it before dinner.”

He started back towards the way we had come.  I sheathed the sword and wandered aimlessly behind him.

Despite the brand new, legendary sword that was now mine, all my excitement had been drained away.

Levi had said that he had given me the sword because it meant I’d be able to level up faster, which meant we’d progress through the floors faster, which meant we’d reach Floor Sixty faster.  And that meant that giving me this sword meant he didn’t have to take care of me for as long as he would have originally if I had kept my old blade.

I was so confused, so hurt.  I had honestly thought he was no longer annoyed with me, that he wasn’t just tolerating me anymore, but growing to genuinely like me.  I thought I was continuing to impress him with my progress, continuing to tell him that I was deadly serious about being his pupil for as long as possible.

It was such a blow to the gut as well.  It had happened so fast.  Suddenly, all those content looks I had seen Levi give me, all those sort-of compliments he had handed me, they all seemed to have resided within my imagination.

I felt like an idiot for believing for a second we were friends.

Trying to get close to Levi was like trying to hold water in the palm of your hands.  You could see it there, feel the wetness of the element, but it slipped out between the cracks in your fingers and over the sides of your thumbs, no matter how tightly you held your hands together.  You could slip your hands back under the water, lift them up and hold a fresh cup in your hands, but the same thing would happen over and over again.

Levi just kept slipping away, and no matter how many times I tried to scoop him up, he’d keep slipping away.  But I was getting the feeling that just like the water, he couldn’t help it.

~~~

Once we reached town, I told Levi I was going back to the outskirts to try out my new sword.  He only gruffed a ‘be careful’ at me before turning and leaving.  I don’t know why I expected him to tell me off for wandering off on my own, or why I expected him to ask to wait for him so he’d be able to see it in action as well.  Though I was being silly; I was a grown man.  He knew this, knew I could take care of myself, at least for a few hours.

If anything, having this sword meant he had even more of an incentive to let me go off on my own. 

I trudged through the snow, stepping harder than necessary on the white flakes, just so I could hear that satisfying sound of all those ice crystals getting squashed together as my boot pressed them into the ground.  I considered skipping my original purpose for coming out, preferring to just laze around in the snow for a few hours.

I wondered if snow mans were still acceptable in this world. 

I didn’t fuss over the details too much, rolling up a ball of white, crusty ice, letting the stuff freeze my naked fingertips, rolling it along the ground so it’d collect even more snow.  Soon I had a snowball that came up to my waist.  I was pretty impressed with my work.

Once all the three balls of snow were made and stacked up on top of each other, it took me a moment to find a few suitable pebbles to make up its eyes and mouth.  I didn’t have any carrots on me, but I found a rather nice looking piece of bark that gave it an interesting moustache; I figured that would do the trick more or less.

Once I was finished, I stepped back to admire my handy work.  I was just contemplating wrapping a scarf around it when a memo appeared before me.  I stared at it curiously for a few moments before I realised that building snowmen warranted you earning a bit of col and a cooking ingredient.

I laughed, entertained at the thought that if I kept making snowmen I’d earn enough money for dinner tonight, or the ingredients to simply make it myself.  Though my cooking skills weren’t all that high, I had enough to be able to come up with some kind of stew or pot roast.  I would just need some meat, which I could get from the butcher in town.

I set to work, making all kinds of different snow men, collecting branches and pieces of bark to make up their arms and facial features.  It was a few hours’ work, but eventually I had a small army of snowmen and a variable amount of ingredients.  I was just mulling over the thought of making a commander for the entire enterprise when there was a rustling behind me.

I turned, unsheathing my sword immediately, pointing it towards the source of the sound.  It had come from a shrub, the branches twitching and moving, the snow on its leaves falling to the ground.  I could just throw a knife at whatever it was, but I was outside the safe zone which meant if I threw it and hit a player, that player would cop damage.

“Who’s there?” I asked loudly.  There was no answer, just more rustling and a tiny squeak. 

The rustling stopped.  I held my stance though, ready to attack at the first sign of movement. 

If I hadn’t been concentrating so hard, hadn’t been so focused on the shrub, I never would’ve seen it.  It darted out from the bush, streaking across the ground, its white fur and small body almost impossible to see against the snow covered ground.

I didn’t hesitate, dashing after it.  I couldn’t see exactly what it was, but my body was taking me forward, my instincts telling me to kill whatever it was.  But it was fast, really fast.  I think the only person who would be able to beat it in a running race would be Levi, and even then it would still be a close call.

But I had something that would help me, something new, something with a high speed stat that would work in the air as well as in my hand.  I stopped running, glaring at the thing that was getting as much distance between us as possible, bringing back my hand and letting my blade fly.

It whistled as it shot through the air, cleaving right through the heart of the small creature.

“Yes!” I exclaimed triumphantly.  I had to jog a fair way over to where my blade was lodged in the ground.  I gripped the handle and yanked it out of the snow, re-sheathing it and looking at what I had collected.  The title of the animal confused me.

 “Did you just kill a ragout rabbit?” I heard a deep voice behind me.  I turned from inspecting the items the little thing had dropped, seeing Levi trudge the distance from the path over to me.

“A what-out rabbit?”

“A ragout rabbit.  They’re the fastest beasts in Aincrad.  They’re also extremely rare,” he came up beside me, crossing his arms and looking at the screen that was telling me I had obtained ‘ragout’s rabbit meat’.  “The meat they drop is extremely valuable, though I’ve heard it’s one of the greatest tasting things this world has to offer.”

I was still wary of Levi, wary that I might piss him off or give him more of a reason to hate me.  But I couldn’t do anything less than act like I wasn’t disturbed by the fact that he didn’t want to be around me, by the fact that he was tired of teaching me despite my quick progress.

“Well, I managed to get a few vegetables from building a bunch of snowmen.  We could cook it up and make a stew,” I offered.

“I thought that might be your handiwork,” Levi muttered, looking back towards my army on top of the hill.  “But I wouldn’t let you touch that meat with a ten foot spatula.  You need a high cooking stat to cook it properly or you’ll end up burning it.”

I nodded, knowing I definitely shouldn’t even try and cook the meat if what he said was true.  Half the time I still burnt bread when I bothered to make it.

“Then should we sell it?  You said it was valuable.  We could use the money to invest in something really great!”

I had no idea what I’d invest all that money in, but Levi probably did.  Maybe if I bought him something he really wanted he’d see me as the kind and thoughtful person I really am.  I almost laughed at the thought.  I doubted bribery would change Levi’s way of looking at me.

“It depends,” he told me.

“On?”

“You caught it; you decide what to do with it.  I know a friend who lives a few floors up who has a rather high cooking stat.  She should’ve maxed it out by now.  We could ask her to cook it in exchange for some of the meat.  Or we can sell it, it’s your call.”

I didn’t like that it was my call, because I didn’t like the thought of disappointing Levi.  I knew he had a preference of what we did with the meat, but he was being fair, not wanting to tell me what I had to do all the time.  I couldn’t tell what his preference was though.

I knew I’d prefer to sell it.  One meal, no matter how tasty it might be, couldn’t compare to the amount of money this meat might be worth and the spoils we could gain with the money.  Plus, it would be nice to be able to concentrate on simply moving up the floors rather than having to take a detour at times to earn some money for a hotel at night.

“Well,” I started, trying to think around my own desire, pin point what Levi would want.  “To be honest, I really don’t mind.  Either way sounds good,” I lied.

“Then I’ll contact my friend and ask her if she’ll lend us her skills for a night.  She’s still a few floors up from here, so it’ll be a few weeks before we get to try it.  We’ll take it to a butcher to salt so we can preserve it while we make our way up.”

Maybe I should’ve protested, maybe I should’ve at least argued that selling it might be the better option.  But I could only nod at Levi.

I was that desperate to please him, to not have him hate me.

~~~

The floor materialized around us, or rather, we materialized on its surface.  It was hard to tell when you were using portals.  Even so, the new floor presented itself in front of me.  I looked around, at the various people, at the decorations that were scattered along the lamp posts and shop signs. 

“My God, what’s with all the candles?” Levi tuttered. 

He had been so irritable as of late.  Because the  ragout’s rabbit meat had a time limit in which we could use it (the salting only prolonged its durability for another week or so), Levi had been stressed to the max trying to get me to a high enough level to be able to enter Floor Forty-Two, where his friend was situated.  The new sword had helped at least, and maybe we would’ve made it in a shorter amount of time if it weren’t for my sudden drop in self-esteem.

Before I had started discovered that Levi hated me, everything I did, everything I learned, achieved, experienced, had all been to impress him.  I was constantly trying to make him happy, constantly trying to bewilder him, and to actually see it upon his face.  Now that I knew that was impossible, I had lost a lot of my confidence and my skills were starting to suffer for it.  I tried my best still, but rather than out of sheer admiration and force of will, I was now doing it out of fear and self-loathing that I wasn’t a better player, a better person.

Because of this, it took us longer than it should have to arrive here, and Levi’s growing irritation with me was something that was making me resent myself more and more each day.  At one point, I had tried to tell him that he didn’t have to take care of me anymore, that he had done enough and we could go our separate ways early.  But when I had opened my mouth to speak, his piercing blue eyes had hit me like an arrow through the heart and I just couldn’t bring myself to say the words; all for my own selfish desire to be with him.

Levi started walking without any notion that I should follow him; I did anyway.  I trailed behind him, looking at the back of his head, trying to work up the courage to at least apologise to him for my slackness over the past few weeks.  But it was so hard to talk to Levi anymore; I felt like any and all parts of Levi I had gathered had just fallen out of my hands.  It was like I had simply been holding cherry blossoms on the tops of my palms, and now that the gust of wind had come through, everything couldn’t be helped but be blown away.

We arrived to a quaint cottage just outside the centre of town, where all the shops were situated.  Levi stepped up the front steps and knocked firmly.  We both waited, the silence between us thick and heavy.  Despite Levi’s excitement for this meal, my stomach was churning and making it hard to believe I’d be able to enjoy tonight at all.

The door swung open to reveal a short and petite red head with hazel eyes and a glowing grin.  Her cropped hair framed her round face perfectly and the pastel pink dress she was wearing really set off the colour of her skin.  I couldn’t deny she was rather pretty.

“Levi, you’re late,” she said, though I could tell from the smile on her face she was more than happy to see him.

“How can I be late if I didn’t give you a specific time to expect me?  I simply said to I’d arrive early tonight.”  I couldn’t help but notice how light his tone had gone, how it sounded so much softer when he talked to her compared to when he addressed me.

Then the girl noticed me practically cowering behind Levi.  Her eyes hardened when they saw me, though the rest of her facial features didn’t change.  She didn’t like me.

“Who’s your friend?” she asked, ushering us both inside.  I wiped my feet on the rug before I entered, making sure to be courteous to this girl who was supposed to be cooking us dinner.

“Someone I picked up down on Floor Fifteen, sort of a stray puppy,” he said this like it was no big deal, though I could practically smell the regret radiating off him as he said it.  He also didn’t confirm her ‘friend’ theory, rather referring to me as a pest.  How delightful.

“It was nice of you to take him under your wing,” she was moving towards what looked like was the kitchen now.  Levi followed her so they could carry on their conversation, I trailed behind awkwardly.

I still had no idea who this girl was.  I felt like one of those background extras in Harry Potter.

“So where’s this ragout’s rabbit meat I’ve been dying to look at?  Levi, I can’t believe you caught this and didn’t report it to the Legion.  They’ll want to hear of this.”  She had tied a floral patterned apron around her waist now, moving to get all the pans and things she would need for our meal.

“Because one, I didn’t catch it, and two, the Legion doesn’t need to know about every little thing I do.  I’m a big boy, I can take care of myself.”

The girl looked at him now, stunned, then looked at me, her eyes widening further.  I shrugged at her, pulling out the meat anyway and placing it on the cutting board she had prepared.

“Y-you caught it?” she exclaimed.  I could see her gazing up at my level fifty-three title, could see her judging what level I had been when I had caught the thing, probably trying to decipher how I had even accomplished such a thing.

“Would you believe me if I said he didn’t even know what he was doing when he did?” Levi muttered, having picked up a spoon and was gazing at his reflection in the silverware, utterly bored with the entirety of what was going on.

“What?  Levi.  Stop kidding with me.”

“I’m not ‘kidding with you’.  It’s true.”

The two of them continued like that while the girl was preparing the meal.  Eventually she told Levi to get up and help instead of primping himself.  She had only shooed me out of the kitchen when I had asked what I was supposed to do.  They were the only words I had said all night, and the glares I got from the two of them when I had spoken made my skin crawl.  I was feeling less and less welcome here.

Eventually, I did learn that the girl’s name is Petra, and she was a level sixty-nine swordsman who owned a blacksmith shop.  She was the very same person who had forged Levi’s blade.  I wished I had the charisma to tell her how impressed I was with her work.

On the rare occasion I looked over from my place at the dining table to see what they were doing, I noticed how close they always were.  Petra seemed to be constantly finding reasons to touch Levi, holding his hand to show him how to cut the vegetables, or swatting him on the arm when he tried to take some of the pieces to nibble on.  It made me clench my jaw and grip my fists under the table’s surface.

Maybe it was that Levi and I hadn’t been as comfortable with each other as of late, but it really bothered me.  I wanted to get up and storm out, make a scene, throw a tantrum.  But I was already walking on thin ice with the both of them, I didn’t need to give them any more of a reason to think me a fool.

After a few hours of preparation and an hour of cooking (in which Petra had finally asked for my help putting away the dishes because Levi couldn’t reach the higher shelves) we all sat down to eat.  By this point, Levi still hadn’t introduced us properly and I don’t even think Petra even knew my name.  Though I doubted she actually cared.

“So, Levi,” Petra started on him at once point, spooning some of the stew into her bowl.  I couldn’t even tell if the stew was any good.  I was a fussy eater at the best of times, but I was putting anything into my mouth tonight.  I couldn’t taste anything.  I felt too sick.  “When are you coming back to the Legion?  It’s been months since any of us have seen or heard from you and if it wasn’t for your little dot on our friend’s map we’d all have thought you’d have died.”

Levi was busy filling his small spoon with equal proportions of meat, sauce and vegetables.  I found it twice as sickening that I couldn’t even enjoy watching Levi eat.

“I’ll come back when I get the chance.  I’ve just been busy over the past few months,” he said irritably, like he was annoyed at the prospect of being away from his guild for much longer.

“Busy?  Taking care of…” she was looking at me now, the question dying on her tongue as she realised how long I had been hanging around Levi, that it hadn’t just been a day old thing he was doing to humour me (more like a month old thing he was doing to humour me).

“Yes.  Taking care of him,” Levi finished for her.  “It’s a full time job.”

I gripped my spoon harder, wanting nothing more than to sink into the ground and disappear. 

I could remember, a few years back, when I was at school, there was this new, foreign exchange student who had come to our school.  He was small and shy and nobody really paid attention to him, but I was assigned to be his partner on a science project once.  I think he had been so glad to be acknowledged for once that he had immediately thought of me as his friend and had trailed behind me for a week afterwards.  All my friends called him weird and didn’t like him all that much, but I let him hang out with me because he really wasn’t doing me any harm.

But that didn’t mean I spoke to him, or said hi to him, or even waved to him.  I still spoke with my friends and let him sit in the background and eventually he got the message and faded away.  I don’t know if he transferred schools or simply took to spending his lunch times in the library, but I could honestly say I knew exactly how he had felt now.

Honestly, being hated was better than being tolerated.  I’d have to add apologising to that boy to the long list of things I planned to do once I returned home.

“Why did you start taking care of him again?” Petra asked.  “Is he…uh…”

I actually looked at her now, fury blazing in my eyes.  How dare she?  Assuming I was retarded or something because I hadn’t spoken all night.  Excuse me for not talking when I hadn’t even been invited into the conversation.

“A brat? Yes,” Levi was speaking now.  “A moron?  Yes.  Totally lacking in any sort of gaming talent?  Well…”

I couldn’t take it anymore.  Couldn’t take how they were talking about me.  I couldn’t take how distant Levi had suddenly become, couldn’t take how Petra was still glancing over at me as if I had some sort of deranged mental disease that would activate if she looked at me for too long.  I couldn’t take being treated like I wasn’t a person sitting right beside them.

“Levi, I wanted to tell you that I’m leaving tomorrow,” I suddenly said with determination.  I didn’t know where it had come from, and I didn’t even know if I had meant it.  But I knew I wasn’t going to stay with him any longer if this is all how he truly felt about me.

Both Petra and Levi were absolutely silent.  I could hear, very clearly, the ticking of the clock in the next room.  Levi was staring at me, the spoon half raised to his lips, his mouth still open, ready to receive it.  He put down his spoon back in the bowl carefully, his eyes hardening.

“Excuse me?” his voice was cold, steely.

“I decided that it’s time we separated.  You’ve paid me back in full, in fact, you’ve over paid me.  You’re no longer in my debt for saving your life.  You can go back to your guild and back to your life.  I’m leaving in the morning.”

Even as I said the words, I was already regretting them.

Because I didn’t want to leave Levi’s side.  I didn’t want him to go back to these people, especially if Petra was anything to go off how the rest of them acted.  Levi was better than that.  Sure, it had taken some time to get him to warm up to me, but the few times we had actually sat down and had spoken, I felt we had somehow connected.  Apparently I was kidding myself with all of it.

Levi was looking at me with a look I couldn’t read.  I was trying to decide whether it was hidden relief or something bordering on complete loathing and extreme rage.  Then I recognised the glare as the ones he had given me when he had first met me, the special glares he gave me when I said something stupid.  I hadn’t seen that glare in so long; I had forgotten what it looked like.

“ _You_ decided it’s time?  _You_ think I’ve paid you back?” Levi’s words were spoken so quietly, I had to strain my ears to hear them. 

Yes.  He was most definitely mad, but I couldn’t figure out why.

“Yes,” I could only say, rather hesitantly.

“What about me?” he was saying angrily.  “What if I haven’t decided I’ve paid you back yet?  Our agreement was I would get you to Floor Sixty.  Don’t break our contract just because the snow has given you cold feet!”

He was speaking metaphorically, of course.

“What contract!?” I was yelling now.  “It was a spoken agreement.  I don’t remember signing anything!”

“We shook hands!  That’s good enough!” His eyes were blazing now.  Mum always told me that the blue part of the flame was the hottest.

“Why do you care?!  You don’t want me around!  You don’t want to be my friend!  You let me sit here and listen to you two talk about me like I’m not here, than you expect me to believe that you actually like me at all!?”

It was deathly silent again.  The both of us were simply looking at each other, glaring at each other, panting, having lost our breath from our outbursts of rage.

“You’re a fucking moron,” Levi spat at me, shoving his chair backwards and walking away.  Petra tried to go after him, calling his name before I heard the front door open and slam shut.  I glared at my meal; it was practically untouched.

I copied him, walking into the foyer.  Petra was glaring at me now too, obviously upset that I had gotten her friend so riled up.  I found I didn’t really care how much she hated me anymore.  I thanked her stiffly for the meal, telling her maybe I’d see her around, though the both of us weren’t really counting on it.

I walked out the door, down the street, my fists still clenched together.  I could feel the goose bumps rising up my arms as I had forgotten to put my coat back on when I left.  Levi had been right; this floor was covered in snow just like the others. 

Despite everything that had happened to me over the years, I had only ever cried once: when my mum had died.  The feeling of losing someone so important to me hadn’t hit me until a month after the fact, but when it had, it had hit full force, like a brick right to my gut.  I had cried for days and days, neither my father nor my sister were able to console me at all.  Finally, when I was exhausted with grief, I realised how terrified I was of living in the world without her.  Somehow, I had managed.

But as I stormed into the centre of town, finding a bench and sitting down upon it, feeling the snow fall on my shoulders and into my hair, I felt the first tears start to form.  This was different, because Levi was still alive.  He was still breathing, could still talk and move and live and love.  Except that I couldn’t touch him, couldn’t learn from him any longer, couldn’t even talk to him ever again. 

I think this hurt more than when mum died; because this time it was my own fault Levi hated me.

The thing is, I had lost friends before.  They had either moved, or transferred to a different school or had just suddenly decided one day they didn’t want to be my friend, but I had never felt as hurt as I did now.  Was it because for those few months we were together, I honestly believed Levi was my friend?  Was it because I had subconsciously been relying on him, not to keep me alive, but more to keep me sane?

In a world of less than ten thousand people, it could get lonely very quickly.  Yet Levi had come out of nowhere, without rhyme or reason, and had practically glued met his side.  Though I was kidding myself: Levi had a solid reason behind everything he did.

There were footsteps growing louder, approaching me.  I thought it might be just another random player walking the streets, someone who had gone for a midnight stroll.  But the figure stopped just short of where I sat.  I looked up, at the scowling blue eyes I had admired for months that now looked at me with nothing but scorn.

“Why do you think I hate you?” Levi asked. 

I wiped my cheeks, sitting up straighter and trying to keep calm while I looked him in the eyes. 

“You don’t share anything about yourself.”  I was gripping my knees, trying to hold onto something solid as I spoke.  “You’ve never looked at me with anything less than annoyance.  You’re so distant half the time.  I can never tell what you’re thinking.  You make it seem like taking care of me is a chore, or a hindrance to what you’d rather be doing.  You never even added me to your friend’s list.”

I felt silly telling him all of this, I felt like he’d brush it all off one way or another, try to convince me otherwise while all the while it was entirely true. 

Levi crossed his arms, frowning even more.  I could see his jaw work as he grinded his teeth together.

“I don’t share anything about myself because there’s nothing to share.  I look at everyone with annoyance.  I’m distant because I can be.  You’re not supposed to be able to tell what I’m thinking.  Taking care of you _is_ a chore but it’s a chore I’ve come to enjoy and _is_ what I’d rather be doing.”  As he finished, he stroked his hand down the air in front of him, pressing things on his menu.  Then a friend request appeared in front of me.

I starred at the message, at the words.  ‘Levi wants to be your friend.  Do you accept?’  The blinking blue circle and the flashing, red ‘X’ situated underneath the message.  I hesitated, swallowing thickly, before tapping the circle, the message disappearing.

“There.  Now we’re officially friends.”

I probably would have argued, probably would have protested that he was doing this out of pity or for his own amusement, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I was tired of believing the man I had come to respect so much despised my very existence.  I wanted reassurance that he wasn’t going to leave me, and that I wouldn’t be forced to leave him.  The little icon beside his name, the one that told me he was no longer just a party member, but a friend as well, was my reassurance.

From now on, the rest of it was all in my head.

I felt Levi sit beside me.  Surprisingly, he didn’t sit at the other end of the park bench like I expected him to, but right beside my body, our legs pressed together and our shoulders bumping as he adjusted to get comfortable.  My heart raced faster in my chest at the notion of having him so close to me.

“Though I do owe you an apology,” he said, his arms still crossed, causing the shoulders of his coat to rise up a little, making it look like he was shrugging.  “The time limit that meat gave us made me a little stressed, made me act more irritable towards you than usual.  I’m guessing that’s where your sudden outburst came from.  I’m sorry if I made you think I hate you.”

I clasped my hands together, looking down my fingertips that were now turning blue.  I wanted to believe him.

“Also, I shouldn’t have acted like that at Petra’s, and I shouldn’t have given her the idea to act like that as well.”

“Why did you?” I was afraid to ask, but I was more afraid of not knowing.

There was silence between us.  I turned to Levi.  He was frowning at his knees, trying to decipher whatever was running around in his head, trying to find a way to put it into words.  It looked like it almost hurt, like it was paining him to admit what he needed to.

“Because I have a habit of distancing myself from those I want to like me the most.”

It was the say he said the word ‘like’ that made me think he wasn’t talking about simply liking him as a friend, like he wanted said people to like him as more than that.  This thoroughly confused me.

“Levi, I though you said you were gay?”

His back visibly stiffened at this.

“I am,” he said cautiously, as if he thought I was choosing now of all times to make that a problem.

“So how can you have a crush on Petra if you’re gay?”

I think I froze him, or put him into shock at the very least.  He didn’t move, didn’t flinch, didn’t blink.

“Besides,” I continued.  “I don’t think you have any problems getting her to like you.  She seemed happy enough to be around you tonight.”

I don’t know why the words burned on my tongue, why I was having such a hard time convincing Levi he’d have no problems if he asked Petra out.  Maybe it was because I hadn’t had the chance to get to know Petra, so was scared that she’d be a bad match for Levi.  Though I still couldn’t understand why it mattered all that much: Levi could like whoever he wanted.  Why was it a problem that he might like her?

I looked over to Levi’s face, to see his features had darkened.  He turned to me, that special Eren-loathing look on his face.  I gulped at the sight.

“You are a fucking moron!” he shouted before slamming his feet into the ground, using the momentum to pick himself up and storm off towards the inn.  I was shocked, starring at his retreating back.  What could I have possibly said this time?

“Meet me outside the inn tomorrow!” he was throwing over his shoulder as he walked.  “Don’t be late or I’ll make you do one hundred push-ups with me sitting on your back!”

I knew that wasn’t sarcasm.

Once Levi had vanished around the corner, muttering to himself the entire way, I realised my shoulders were shaking and I could no longer feel the tips of my ears.  I decided it was time to head inside as well.  I stood up-

-though had to immediately sit back down.

The strong wave of nausea that ran through me had me clutching my stomach, had me clasping a hand over my mouth, trying not to throw up the small amount of stew I had actually managed to swallow.  I didn’t know if you could vomit in this world, though I didn’t really want to test the theory.  This nausea was different though.  It wasn’t like in the real world, where you could feel it in your stomach, pulling and twisting the inside of you so the entirety of your body shook with sickness.

It felt like it had resided _outside_ of myself; like it had come from around the corner and had simply taken a hold of me. 

It passed as quickly as it had come.  When I was safe from vomiting, I quickly opened my status screen.  Nothing had changed.  My health was still full, my agility and speed were still high.  I quickly opened my inventory, checking to see if all my items were there, if anything had been stolen by some odd creature.  But all my items were present and accounted for.  I checked my friends list to see if anyone had died and maybe that’s what had caused it.  But everybody was still there, their little dots blinking on the accompanying map: Levi’s having turned yellow, telling me had fallen asleep already.  The only thing left to check was my abilities.

I tapped the various buttons until the list appeared before me.

Out of all the events that had taken place that night, this was by far the most confusing.  My abilities list hadn’t shrunk, no skills had been taken from me.  But sitting between Smite and Strike was an ability I had never even heard of before and certainly didn’t remember learning.  My list hadn’t shrunk; it had grown.


	6. Three, Two, One, Zero.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Besides,” Levi turned back towards the both of them, his eyes going dark and his expression going hard. I knew that look, I recognised those eyes. It was the exact same expression he had worn when I had first seen him in action, when he had been attacking Zack and tearing him to pieces. Though this expression was intensified to the point where I hardly recognised my friend anymore.  
> “If it’s a duel he wants,” Levi unsheathed his sword, pointing the rapier right at Oluo’s still stunned face. “It’s a duel he’ll get.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short (compared to my usual chapters) but it was originally a lot longer.   
> Until I decided to be a sick motherfucker and post it in two parts.  
> ENJOY!

Trying to sleep that night was almost like trying to sleep on the night of Christmas Eve.  When your trying to calm down enough to let sleep take you so the night would go faster and you could wake up to open your presents sooner.  Although I knew it wasn’t Christmas Eve yet, and I wouldn’t even be opening any presents when I awoke, but lying in bed, looking up at the ceiling, then the wall, then the other wall, then the ceiling again, I could feel my stomach twist and churn with excitement.

The new skill that had presented itself to me was beyond powerful.  Not only that, but the way I had obtained it was beyond interesting.  I wanted to tell Levi.  I wanted him look at it with astonishment just like I had.  To puzzle over how it had suddenly appeared just as I had.  I wanted to share this with him; I felt like it was his achievement just as much as it was mine.

I kept opening up my abilities menu, kept looking at those four letters that represented a power I was so sure I would never possess.  Every time I slide my fingers over the various buttons to open the menu, I was afraid it wouldn’t be there.  I was afraid it would disappear as quickly as it had come.  But after the ninetieth time or so, I came to accept that it wasn’t going anywhere, at least not yet.

I did manage to finally drift off sometime around early morning.  But despite the very few hours of sleep I got, when the sun came in through the window, I was more than ready to leap out of bed.

Despite how early it was, I was happy to see Levi’s flashing green dot situated just outside the inn, telling me he was already awake and waiting for me.  I rushed downstairs, now not only excited at the prospect of telling him about my new ability, but also being on time for a change. 

As I clambered down the stairs and entered the lobby, I was surprised to see how many other players were up at this hour.  Maybe it was only me who preferred getting up when the sun was higher in the sky?  I didn’t think over it too long, quickly checking out of the inn and darting outside. 

I rounded the corner, running at top speed towards where Levi stood.  He had his back turned to me, his shoulders were hunched and his fists were clenched.  It was then that I noticed he seemed to be having a very heated discussion.  I slowed down upon approaching him while I studied the man he was talking to in detail.

He was taller than both Levi and I and seemed to be older than us too.  He wore the same green cape as Levi did, his clothes holding the same kind of style.  So he was a part of the Scouting Legion too?  I wondered briefly how many other members we’d run into this week.  The man’s hair was a mousy sort of brown, and was cut in a similar way to Levi’s (though it didn’t look nearly as good on the stranger).  Yet though his face looked old, his eyes looked young.  He also didn’t seem all too happy to be talking to Levi, just as Levi didn’t seem too pleased with the man’s presence either.

“…duties on the frontline!” I managed to hear the man say as I got closer. 

I came up beside Levi, who turned to look at me with a scowl on his face, telling me he was not happy that he was having his current conversation.

“I haven’t been neglecting anything,” Levi was saying.  “I’ll come back when I come back.  I told you: I’ve been pre-occupied.”

The man snorted, eyeing me now.

“Yes.  Petra told me about your new pet.”

I glared at him for that.  Maybe Levi was the exception, but everybody else in the Scouting Legion seemed to be awfully pretentious.  Though Levi was pretty pretentious too, now that I thought about it.  I guess I just knew to expect it from him.

“Oluo!” There was a shrill cry.  I forced myself not to groan at the sound of the voice, trying hard not to seem too unhappy at the sight of the girl coming up from behind the man in front of us.

Petra certainly looked different in her Scouting Legion robes; more regal somehow.  I could see that she carried herself differently too.  I guess she was proud to be able to adorn such a symbol as the Wings of Freedom on her back; I knew I would be too.

“I told you not to bring me into this if you were going to confront Levi about what I told you!” she was scolding the man now.

“Petra?  You dobbed me in?” Levi didn’t look too happy to see her either.  I was happy at that for some reason; happy he was displeased with her presence as much as I was.  At least this meant there wouldn’t be a repeat of last night.

Petra certainly seemed to feel guilty, looking down and shuffling her feet, almost resorting to hiding behind this Oluo person.

“W-well,” she started.  “What he’s saying is sort of true, Levi.  You have a responsibility as a member of the Scouting Legion.  Yet it’s been almost five months since any of us have seen you on the front lines.  We’ve lost people, Levi, people we wouldn’t have had to have lost if you were there.”

I wanted to hit her.  How dare she?  Putting that kind of weight on Levi’s shoulders?  Even if he had been there, there would’ve been no guarantee that they still would’ve survived.  To put that kind of responsibility on Levi was completely unfair.

“How dare you?” Levi spat, his face holding a fierce rage I didn’t think I had seen before, but his eyes looked familiar somehow.  “Putting that kind of weight on my shoulders?  Even if I had been there, what guarantee do you have that they still would’ve survived?  To put that kind of responsibility on me is all kinds of unfair.”

Okay, seriously now Levi, _can_ you read my mind?

“I-I’m not saying it’s entirely your fault!” Petra tried to defend herself.

“Then what are you saying, Petra?  Oluo?” He gave them both a glare akin to that of a bear at war.  “What I do is none of your business, and it’s certainly no business of the Commander’s where I am at all times.  I’m not a stray puppy that needs to be kept on a leash.”

“No, of course not,” Oluo spoke, looking down his nose at Levi, than turning to me.  “Stray puppies don’t usually hang around other stray puppies.”

I might’ve been fast, but Levi was faster.  It was a good thing too, because the kick he threw to Oluo’s gut was a lot stronger than the punch I was planning to land to his face.  Oluo thudded onto his ass, coughing and spluttering more out of shock than actual injury.

“Levi!” Petra cried in protest.

Levi didn’t say anything.  He simply straightened himself and looked over to me.  I still had my fist raised but I lowered it under his look, giving him a thankful nod for defending me.  The look he gave me was like he was saying he was more than happy to deliver such a service.  We both turned simultaneously, planning to leave the two there and forget the whole incident.

Suddenly, there was a thud.  It was softened, like a brick being thrown into a pillow, but where it had come from and where it had landed was what had me gritting my teeth.  I turned to the source, shocked to see a knife embedded deeply in between Levi’s shoulder blades.  I could feel my rage boiling up inside me, could see my eyesight going red.  Levi didn’t seem fazed by it, simply reaching behind him and yanking out the throwing knife, the mark on his back sealing up quickly. 

“Eren, don’t,” he simply ordered, his deep voice cutting through my burning desire to stab Oluo between the eyes.

“But he can’t just attack you and get away with it!” I cried.  How could Levi be so calm?  How could Levi want to sit back and do nothing about having been literally stabbed in the back by his fellow guild member!?

“He can attack me all he wants.  We’re in a safe zone.  It has no effect on me.”

I knew what Levi was saying was true, and it was a far more mature thought than my own thought of slicing Oluo up and feeding him to the frenzy boars back on Floor One.

“Besides,” Levi turned back towards the both of them, his eyes going dark and his expression going hard.  I knew that look, I recognised those eyes.  It was the exact same expression he had worn when I had first seen him in action, when he had been attacking Zack and tearing him to pieces.  Though this expression was intensified to the point where I hardly recognised my friend anymore.

“If it’s a duel he wants,” Levi unsheathed his sword, pointing the rapier right at Oluo’s still stunned face.  “It’s a duel he’ll get.”

Oluo was on his feet in no time, glaring at Levi and seething with rage.  I could only smirk at this face, thinking it made him look twice as stupid as he probably was.  There was no way Oluo could beat Levi in a fair fight.  Forget that Levi was almost ten levels above him, but Oluo looked like the kind of guy who leapt before he thought.  If Levi had taught me anything in the past few months, it was that that was an extremely dangerous habit to have.

Levi, as well as his speed, was a strategist.  It wouldn’t take him long, even on a bad day, to leave Oluo on the floor with his ass in the air.  My smirk grew wider, entertained at the thought.

“Alright, I accept your challenge!” Oluo all but yelled, attracting more attention than we had already gained.  Wasn’t it _Levi_ who had accepted _his_ challenge?  “But let’s make it more interesting.”

“I’m not a gambler,” Levi simply put.

“Oh, I think you’ll agree to this wager,” Oluo had a triumphant smirk on his face, as if he had already won his battle. 

Oluo reminded me of the guy in glass who sits up the back, reading comic books under his desk and eating his own snot as a way of an afternoon snack; stupidly boring and full of nothing but himself.

“We’ll make it a double duel; me and Petra, against you and the stray.”

I could practically feel Levi flinch at the nickname Oluo had dubbed upon me.

“If you two win, I’ll recognise that you’re doing a good thing and leave you alone to continue on your little quest.  But if we win,” Oluo now brought out a curved blade from the sheath on his thigh, the ruby red blade gleaming in the morning sun.  It reminded me of blood, much like Crowning Glory reminded me of water. 

“Then you have to forget the stray-“ Again, I could feel Levi flinch beside me.  “And come back to the legion like you’re supposed to.”

I had no doubt in my mind that we could take him down, that we could finish both he and Petra off and still have time for breakfast down the road.  But it was my gut that was telling me to flight, not fight.  There was a gnawing feeling deep in the pit of my stomach, uncomfortably trying to work its way up and out of my throat.  Yet I didn’t want to back down, not from this idiot, not when he felt like he could talk shit about me.

I turned to Levi, who was looking at me.  He was asking my permission, and it made me happy that he’d consider my feelings in amongst all this chaos.  I only gave him a smile, nodding determinedly and slipping out my own blade from the bottom of my back.

“Fine,” Levi spoke.  “But only because it’ll shut you lot up.”

I could see Petra fretting beside Oluo, equipping a long sword and shield from her inventory, nervously taking her stance.

The battle invitation appeared in front of us, giving us the option between several different kinds of duels.  Levi chose ‘First Strike’ and the sixty second timer started counting down above us.  First Strike duels meant that the first to deliver a blow that dealt a significant amount of damage to the other won.  It was usually the most common duel people chose, as it practically guaranteed your safety even if you lost.  One-hit didn’t normally mean dying completely; it would have to take an incredibly powerful player to take someone down with only one swing of their weapon.

As there were two of us to a team, the last person left standing would represent the winning side.  I was determined to have Levi be that person.  Oluo was level seventy, and Petra was still level sixty-nine.  Both were a good deal stronger than I was.  But I also knew it was about how you used your power, not the power itself.  But I wasn’t a fool to think I might be still in the game when this duel was over, but I could certainly help Levi be the one who was.

“You’re coming back with us, Levi,” Oluo was saying now, holding his blade just behind him, ready to swing it forward as soon as the countdown hit zero.  “I won’t leave you to hang around this stray any longer.”

I tried not to let the snarky comment obscure my thoughts, keeping myself focused on the task at hand.  This was a battle for supremacy, not a battle of revenge.

“The thing about stray puppies, Oluo,” Levi replied.

Three…

…two…

…one…

“Is that they usually have very protective mothers.”

…zero.

Levi was no longer by my side, now in the centre of our battle space, his sword swinging down to meet Petra’s half way.  I didn’t know Petra’s fighting style, but with her long sword and small shield, I’m guessing it had something to do with long range.  That meant trouble for Levi, as he needed to get close to deliver his attacks, but once he was, she only had her shield to defend herself.  It would be a close match.

I wanted to watch, wanted to see how Levi would take her down.  But I made sure I didn’t get distracted, watching as Oluo darted out from behind the pair and came straight at me.  I evaded his strike easily, leaping back and watching as the man struggled to regain his footing again.

Oluo must rely on strength to take down his opponents; otherwise his lack of speed would have gotten him killed already.  I was sure to continue to watch the tip of his blade, continue to evade its deadly strikes.  He was a simple man, I could already tell that much, which meant it wouldn’t be long before I would be able to read all his movements, would be able to predict exactly where his sword would fall; and give myself an opening to launch the one strike I needed to beat him.

I could hear Levi’s quick breaths of air as he continued to work around Petra, trying different approaches to working down her defences.  I was just done evading another of Oluo’s clumsy attacks when I felt it, felt the sudden change in the air, felt what I had to do next.  It was more of a surprise that it wasn’t a surprise.

“Eren, switch!” I heard Levi command. 

“Right!” I confirmed before darting around one last strike of Oluo’s and racing towards Petra. 

She looked frightened, like she didn’t want to be there.  But I wasn’t going to let that tear down my guard, I wasn’t going to give in to pity.  I had no reason to pity her. 

I knew she wasn’t going to attack first, as she held up her shield and cowered behind it.  I let my blade ring as I slammed it down on the metal.  Rather than trying to fight the stagger, giving her an opportunity to hit me, I used the momentum the recoil had given me to carry myself backward, just out of her reach.  She hesitated before coming at me again.

“Eren!  Behind you!” I didn’t need to turn to know I needed to dodge.  I crouched down, leaping into the air just as Oluo’s sword occupied the space where I had just been.  I watched his shocked face from high up in the air as I let myself fall back to the ground, blade first, ready to pierce his shoulder with my blade.

Oluo swung his own blade back, ready to bring it forward and cleave me in two before I got a chance to touch him.  But I didn’t bother to evade it, feeling another body join me in the air, feeling a strong hand grab my arm and pull me out of harm’s way.  Both Levi and I landed on the ground.  Him; gracefully.  Me?  Not so much.

I knew without being told that it was time to switch targets again.

“Is this how you plan to beat us!?” Oluo was screaming at me now, throwing strategy to the wind entirely and simply swinging his sword at me in a maniacal way.  Though his strikes were easy to avoid, they left no opening to attack.

“Keep switching between us?  Trying to confuse us?  Tire us out?”

_Clang!_

His blade hit mine, the edges causing sparks to fly as he pushed against me, using his strength to push me back, push me down, the tip of the red sword coming closer and closer to my forehead.  I gulped, trying to push him off.  But his strength was unbelievable; my agility couldn’t help me now.

“You can’t win,” he said firmly, looking right into my eyes.  I glared right back into his, not willing to back down or give in.  “You’re up against players twice your level with boundless front-line experience!  You’ve been under Levi’s thumb for a few months and you think you suddenly have what it takes to go up against the greatest guild in Sword Art Online!?”

“Stop exaggerating!” I growled.  “And I’m not under Levi’s thumb!  I’m under his wings; there’s a huge difference!”

“Oluo!” I heard Petra screech, heard the quick padding of boots on brick, felt him before I saw him. 

Levi was there with a flash of blue, striking right between our blades, separating the swords and sending the both of us stumbling backwards.  I quickly righted myself, muttering a quick thanks to Levi before watching him dart back to his new target.

I looked over to Petra, who had her sword and shield down, looking on from afar.  Her health had taken a large nose dive, the flashing yellow bar telling me Levi had won his battle.  Now it was two against one. 

This was where Oluo was more than just outnumbered, he was now out-skilled.  Levi and I had spent months, endless hours at a time, battling together, perfecting how we fit into each other’s fighting routines, winding around each other and striking when it was our respective turns.  Levi and I were a team; and no amount of trash talk would slow us down.

Oluo was smart enough to not try and take Levi on, striking at the man’s blade and causing Levi to stumble out of the way so he could come at me once instead.

“Eren!  Finish him!”

I didn’t need to be told, didn’t need to look over at Levi’s face to know the amount of faith he had put in me, didn’t need to know how I was now going to end this.

Oluo may have the strength of a bear, but he had the stamina of a human; and even that was already running thin.  His swings were getting even slower, his attacks more clumsy; he was growing tired. 

I leapt out of his range, darted back around him, let him think he had me before leaping out of the way once again.  I could see his face turning red not only with exhaustion but with frustration as well, could see his eyes planning murder if he could.  I almost scoffed at the thought.

I saw it.  I saw when he swung at empty air, saw when his back was completely exposed, saw my opportunity: and I took it.

“I hate stray dogs!” I heard Oluo cry before turning around completely, using the momentum to swing his sword around and let the blood-coloured blade rip through my chest.

I was confused.  So confused as to what was going on around me.  Why was the crowd, that I was just noticing, looking so mortified?  Why did the world suddenly go quiet?  Why are the edges of my vision going blurry, turning white, making it almost impossible to see?

And then it was like the entire world around me suddenly stopped, giving me time to take in several things at once. 

Oluo’s face, as his eyes turned pained and his mouth drew down, a look of utter fear replacing his once stupidly frustrated expression.

My health, as it dove from green, to yellow, to red.  The numbers, as they depleted so quickly; shrinking from quad-tripple digits, to triple digits, to double digits.

_Fifty…_

_…thirty-five…twenty…fifteen…_

It took me a moment, but I now realised why Oluo didn’t look so triumphant to have beaten me.

_…ten…eight…five…_

I now realised why Petra had collapsed to the ground, sobbing into her hands, her shoulders shaking erratically.

_…three…two…one…_

I now realised why Levi was using his speed to race towards me, to wrap his arms around my chest, to cry out my name.  I only had time to realise that I couldn’t feel him, couldn’t feel his warmth, his beating heart, his forehead buried into my neck, before my entire world went white as the entirety of Sword Art Online shattered around me.

_…zero._


	7. Send Me Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stray puppies have overprotective bed-mates.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should just leave all of my chapters with cliff hangers. I had the best time teasing you guys |D 
> 
> I was surprised that nobody guessed how Eren was going to back if he came back at all (though you'd have to have seen the original SAO anime to have an idea) and I was even more surprised that 5 or 6 of you guessed that Eren's special ability (if ever it might be revealed) is 'love'. That's fucking adorable. Why do you people make me cry?
> 
> Though I'm scared that if I keep Eren dead, I'll lose readers as a few of you vowed to quit if he died for good. Soz, shit happens.
> 
> I was very tempted to have Levi call Oluo a 'motherfucking ninja onion chopper'...but it wouldn't have matched with the tone of the chapter.
> 
> ENJOY YOUR ANGST!

My eyes flew open.  I could hear my breathing, heavy and ragged.  I could feel my heart slamming against my ribcage.  I could feel the wetness on my face as the tears formed too quickly for me to blink them back.  They fell down my face, soaking my cheeks and getting caught along my jaw.  The warm breeze made my eyes sting.  The sunlight on my face made me blink several times.

I tried to get my bearings, tried to recognise where I was.  I couldn’t even say that it was a strange sort of place, because it was a place I looked to every single day.  The clouds around me were all kinds of shades of orange and gold and red from the sun.

Looking down at the world through the glass beneath my feet, everything seemed so small.  The large, glass platform I stood upon reflected the still rising sun, the clouds shifted as they brushed my legs, making my ankles damp and my skin prickle.  I looked around further, trying to find an end to this vast land of sky that I found myself in; though I should know better.  The sky doesn’t end. 

_No._

I opened my menu.  All of my options had disappeared, all of the sub-menu titles gone, all to be replaced by a new screen that read ‘Initiating Final Phase’ with a percentage of forty-two.

_I don’t want this._

Forty-two percent?  So I was fifty-eight percent away from disappearing from this world forever. 

_Send me back._

I stepped closer to the edge of the platform.  The clouds were flying by so fast, and as they separated, I was astounded to see Aincrad right there; the entirety of the virtual world just floating in its own virtual sky.  It seemed so harmless from up here.  My tears fell harder; maybe if I looked close enough, I’d be able to see Levi.

I wanted to scream.  I wanted to shout.  I wanted to punch something, _anything!_

_Send me back!_

I slammed a hand over my eyes, crying into my palm, trying to block out the beautiful images that caused me nothing but pain.

I couldn’t think about anything else.  I couldn’t think about anything else but going back.  Going back to Aincrad, to my Crowning Glory, to reach Floor Sixty, to reach Floor One hundred!  To join the Scouting Legion no matter how pretentious they all seemed.  Going back to the scenery and the creatures, the rare items, to the excitement each day brought.

 “Send me back!”

I couldn’t think about anything else but going back to Levi.  To his special Eren-loathing expression that I had come to cherish.  To the way he moved so gracefully.  To his eyes that, despite their cold colour, made me so warm inside.  To his voice that sent shivers down my spine.  To the constant faith he had in me. 

“Send me back now!”

That’s right.  Levi had so much faith in me.  He had proven this time and time again.  When he told me to forget my shield and fight only with my weapon.  When he gave Crowning Glory to me instead of keeping it for himself.  When he added me to his friend’s list, despite his fear that I would someday betray him.  When he told me to take the finishing strike in that duel…

Levi had so much faith in me, so as a final act of desperation, I took a leap of faith for him.  I threw myself off the glass platform, letting myself feel the heavy wind sting my eyes even further, burn my cheeks and tangle my hair.  This wouldn’t work.  I already knew that.  That timer would finish before I even got close to Aincrad, and even then, there was no guarantee I would land safely.

Nonetheless, I reached out a shaking hand, fighting against the brutal winds, trying to grasp at the tiny Aincrad so far down below me.

“Send me back to Levi!” I cried, even knowing no one would hear me. 

Then here was a flash of white, consuming the world around me, swallowing me up.  I glanced at the timer, seeing the ninety-nine percent flash angrily at me before I lost all my senses completely, the world of Aincrad disappearing from my grasp.

My eyes flew open. I blinked once, twice, thrice.  The white was taking shape, was now concentrated in certain areas only.  There were other colours now too; oranges and yellows, pinks and greens and blues.  All of it forming shapes and light around me.  There were people in amongst the haze.  They were standing still, all in a crowd.

“…ren!”

My ears were ringing, it was so loud.  But as it faded, other sounds started to become clearer.  The ringing of bells, real ones, not the ones in my head.  The murmuring of a crowd.  Someone was sobbing.

“…ren!  Dam…sa…thing!”

There was a figure in front of me.  He was so close.  I blinked once, twice, thrice, clearing my head, forcing the world around me to focus. 

And there he was.  His cobalt eyes shining with tears, his hair a dishevelled mess, his sword lying over on the other side of the courtyard.  He was screaming at me, calling my name, shaking my shoulders.  I reached out to him, gripping the fabric of his jacket, feeling the soft fabric under my fingertips.

He was real.  It was all real.  I was back.

“Eren!  Eren, please!”

I finally took in a deep breath, clutching my chest and gulping in great gasps of crisp, cold air, realising I had been holding my breath.  I looked up at my health bar, completely filled and green just like it was supposed to be, the numbers five and three flashing beside it on the level indicator. 

“L-Levi,” I managed to gasp out.

Then I was in his arms.  He was holding me close, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably, his face pressed into the crook of my neck.  I could feel his tears landing on my skin, freezing there before his breath melted them and the whole process started again.  I felt my whole body relax into his touch, felt my arms go limp beside me as I let him hold me, let him sob my name again and again.

“You died,” he whispered through his gasping sobs.

“You died in my arms!” He clutched me tighter to him at that, not wanting to let go; not wanting to have to feel what it was like to experience such a thing all over again.

“I-I’m sorry,” I could only mutter.  I was tired; so very tired.  I just wanted to sleep, and here, in Levi’s arms, it seemed like a pretty good prospect. 

“Shut up!” He exclaimed, his fingers in my hair, holding me impossibly tighter to him. 

I should push him away.  I should tell him it was weird for him to be holding me like that.  I should tell him it felt strange.  Except that I’d be lying if I did.  It felt perfectly natural for Levi to have his arms around me, felt so good to be so close to him.  It felt so right to feel his breath on my skin, his eyelashes brushing against the ridge of my shoulder.  I shuddered slightly.

“E-Eren?  Y-you’re alright, right?” I heard a voice, not mine and not Levi’s, speak.  I peeked over Levi’s shoulder, leaving the safety of his neck only long enough to see that it was Oluo who was speaking.  I glared at him briefly before burying my face back into Levi’s shoulder.

“Get away from him,” Levi all but growled. 

_Thank you._

Hesitantly, I pulled away from Levi’s warmth, my hand was still clutching at his chest, right where his heart was.  I looked at his face, at his softened eyes filled with relief.  I gave him a small smile, as much that I could manage, before using his shoulder to push myself up. 

He stood up with me, catching my arm when I stumbled.  Once I got the hang of standing again, I carefully took a few steps forward, testing my limits.  Oluo was still keeping his distance, and Petra looked like she was seeing a ghost.  I guess she sort of was…

“Oluo,” Levi clipped, his voice growing strong again, his usual serious expression returning.  “Go back to the legion with Petra.  We’re done here.”

I’m sure Oluo wanted to protest, wanted to remind him of their wager.  Then again, I wasn’t sure who had won.  Did Levi manage to finish Oluo while I was gone?  Or did my death mean instant disqualification on our part? 

But Oluo only nodded and turned to help Petra, who was extremely pale and didn’t seem to be focusing on anything.

Levi only walked away from my side long enough to pick up his sword, sheathing it in its holster and then returning, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the scene.  He pulled me through the crowd, shoving people aside, not interested in their curious gazes or questioning glares.

I let him pull me, having no energy of my own to move.

That strong hand clutched at my fingertips, making my bones ache, though I could only welcome the feeling with a swelling heart.  I followed Levi dutifully back into the inn, leaning against him heavily as we waited to be assisted by the innkeeper.

Levi got us a room each and dragged me up the stairs, leading me to my door and pushing me inside.  He told me to get some rest and we’d have dinner later.  I thanked him, already shrugging off my coat and placing Crowning Glory on the room’s table.

Levi seemed hesitant to leave me, seemed hesitant to take his eyes off me.  I was going to tell him he could stay, that I didn’t mind if he hung out in my room while I slept, but before I could say anything, he was shutting the door and storming back down the hallway.

I could only sigh glumly, trudging over to the bed and collapsing on top of the covers. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, drifting off to dream of a giant, glass platform in the sky, keeping me afloat while I waited for Levi to call me back home.

I don’t know how long I slept, but it felt like it was for days.  Though when I woke up, the sun was just disappearing behind the horizon, and there was an insistent knock on my door.  In a daze, I asked who it was.  I heard a deep voice on the other side and didn’t have to piece together the words to know it was Levi.  I told him he could come in.

He entered the room silently, closing the door behind him and then leaning against it.  He was wearing a simple t-shirt and pants, having removed the more intricate parts of his Scouting Legion robes.  I smiled when I saw he had come to visit me, genuinely happy to be in his presence.  He stayed by the door, looking at me with an expression I couldn’t read.

“How are you feeling?” he simply asked.

“A little sleepy still,” I told him earnestly, proving my words by not moving from my spot on the bed.

Levi nodded, his expression never wavering.  He pushed himself off the wooden surface of the door, walking over to my bed.  I rolled over onto my stomach and Levi took the free space beside me, lying down on his back to stare at the ceiling.  Neither of us were under the sheets, despite the cold weather that was seeping in through the open window.

It was silent for a while.  I listened to Levi breathe beside me, trying not to drift back off to sleep at the soothing sound of his deep and even breaths. 

“How did you do it?” I suddenly found myself asking.

He slowly turned to face me, his eyes going soft and his lips relaxing, as if he was glad I had asked that and not something else.  Levi looked at me for a few moments, sorting through his thoughts before opening his mouth to reply.  I had never heard his voice sound so soft before.

“Last Christmas, before I had met you, there was a Christmas event where it was told that a special boss called Nicholas the Renegade would appear.  There was talk of an extremely rare item that he drops if you managed to defeat him.  Naturally, I took him on,” he was looking at me still, his eyes never wavering from my face.

“The rare item he dropped was a crystal called the Divine Stone of Returning Soul.  In other words: a resurrection crystal.”

I could feel my eyes widen at his words, could feel my breathing stop.  He tapped me on my back with his knuckles, reminding me to breathe again, making sure I didn’t give my body any other excuses to pass out on him.

“There’s a limitation to it, of course.  It has to be used within ten seconds of the chosen player’s defeat, or it won’t work.”

“And you used it on me?” I didn’t really need to ask though.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Levi admitted, reaching up a hand to push it through his hair, messing it up even further.  How worried about me was he to not even have fixed up his appearance, which he was usually so immaculate about?

“All I can remember is the feeling of holding you, and then suddenly you were gone.  The next thing I knew, the crystal is smashing in my hands and you’re materialising before me once again.”

I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Don’t get me wrong,” he removed his hand from his head, laying it across his stomach.  Suddenly, his free hand, the one closest to me, was reaching down, finding my hand and twining his fingers in mine.  Levi gave my hand a squeeze.  I felt the warmth from his hand radiate from my fingertips all through my body.  I squeezed it back; reassuring him I was here, that I was alive.

“I don’t regret it,” he finally said after what seemed like minutes of silence.  “Even if I had been aware of my actions, I knew I would’ve used that stone on you anyway.  It’s not like I can use it on myself, and you’re my closest friend…”

His words trailed off. 

Before, I might’ve been shocked by his words.  I might’ve gaped at him for ages, opening and shutting my mouth in bewilderment while he gave me a look that told me never to repeat what I had just heard.  But I was different now.

Maybe it was the re-spawning thing, or maybe it was just that I had developed a relationship with Levi even I could no longer describe.  Either way, I was hyper aware of him now.  Of what he thought, of what he said, of how he felt.  So to hear that I played such an important role in his life wasn’t surprising, but comforting.

“Hey Levi,” I got his attention.  I saw his blue eyes flicker to me, saw his expression turn hopeful.  “You know you’re the most important thing in this world to me.”

I’m sure he tried to remain expressionless, tried to keep his mouth from twitching and his eyelids from fluttering in glee, but I saw it; I saw it all.  I could practically hear how loud his heart beat was from having heard those words, could practically feel his fingers shake in mine in a sort of nervous-happiness.  I only squeezed his fingers again.

Levi let out a shaky laugh, but his face didn’t turn away from mine. 

“Eren,” he began. 

I was expecting some sort of sarcastic comment; something to lighten this quickly heavying mood.  I expected him to call me an idiot, or a sap, or even gay as an ironic joke, and yet…

“You’re the only thing in this world I want to protect.”

I wish I could remember if I had smiled at him.  I wish I could remember if I had squeezed his hand again, or if I had even told him something else.  But right after he spoke those words, I fell right back to sleep.  My body was still so exhausted, and everything felt so heavy, it was surprising I had even awoken at all.

At one point during the night I must have rolled over onto my back again, because when I woke up briefly, Levi was sleeping over my heart.  His fingers were still knitted in mine, his other arm wound tightly around my chest.  I could only smile at the warmth he gave me before nodding off again.

I didn’t feel completely well-rested until the next afternoon, and even then the sun was dangerously low in the sky.  I probably would’ve stayed in bed for another night, just to be safe, except my stomach was telling me it had other plans.

Levi hadn’t been there when I had woken up, but I’m sure he had gone down to eat already.  So I pulled on my equipment before following his lead and heading downstairs to the restaurant.  Sure enough, Levi had already ordered for the both of us (crème brulee with a side of more crème brulee) and seemed to be heading upstairs to wake me.  He was surprised to see that I had beaten him to it, that I was already standing awkwardly in the entrance, giving him a small smile at the sight of dessert for dinner again.   He ushered me over and I happily sat down to eat the delicious pastries Levi had taught me to love.

I was in the middle of my fourth dessert (a cream bun with extra cream, courtesy of Levi’s ability to get what he wanted out of anybody, including the inn chefs) when I started to think clearly again, and of course my first question was:

“So, who won?”

Levi was full already and was just sipping on a cup of tea when I asked.  He looked at me over the rim of his cup before giving me a smile.  He seemed to be bestowing me with more and more of them lately.

“Obviously, we did.”

“How can you say ‘obviously’?”

“Do you really think I would’ve let that uptight, bastard win after he practically separated your top half from your bottom half?”

“No, but I thought he might’ve taken advantage of your weakness to land a hit on you.”

“Oluo’s an arrogant idiot, but he’s not evil.  And what do you mean my weakness?!”

I clammed up at that, realising I might have said the wrong thing.  Levi only kicked my shin under the table though and left it at that.

“So,” I was nervous about what I was going to say next.  Apparently last night’s fatigue was the equivalent of getting me drunk, having given me enough courage to say what had been on my mind lately.  But now that I was sober and fed, my nervousness and awareness of what I said around Levi was back.

“Does this mean…”

Levi was looking at me expectantly, obviously not planning to answer me before I had finished like he usually did.

“Does this mean you get to stay?” I managed to finish, gulping down some water right afterwards to calm my nerves.

“Even if we had lost, I would’ve found a way to fulfil my ‘duties’, as they call them, while still fulfilling my end of our bargain and getting you to Floor Sixty.  I never go back on my word,” he simply said.

“Oh, right.”  Why was I expecting a different answer?  I got the one I wanted, didn’t I?

“Besides,” he continued.  “There’s no way I would’ve let a stupid bet from Oluo tear me from your side.  I told you: I need to protect you.”

I felt my blush touch my hair roots.

“Yeah.”  I hesitated before adding, “And I need to remain by your side.” My gaze was fixed on my plate.

I didn’t see it, but I could practically feel Levi’s radiant smile next to me, and I could certainly feel his warm and soft fingers intertwine with mine under the table once again.

“Stray puppies have overprotective bed-mates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm sorry. Did I lead you all to believe Eren was still dead? |D


	8. Merry Fucking Christmas To me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We lay there like that for a few minutes, his weight not even a problem. His eyes, however, were. They never wavered from mine, never once even flicked towards any other part of my body. He just kept staring at me, his greens eyes full of something I couldn’t read. But whatever it was, I knew I liked it. I especially knew I liked it when his eyes slipped shut, his lips parting slightly and his face coming closer to mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohkay I'm a bad author. such a bad author. i'm posting this too early and have given up on a project i vowed to do and i dont even care anymore.  
> CELEBRATORY GIVING UP CAKE FOR ME!!
> 
> As this is Levi week (w00t Levi) and I figured it was about time I did: this chapter is in Levi's POV. 8D Enjoy!
> 
> Oh by the way: In this chapter lie two very subtle clues. These clues will tell you something very important about Levi in the real world. if you can guess what this is based on the clues: ill give you a cookie. and share some of my celebratory giving up cake.

Have you ever had someone die in your arms?  Shatter into a million, tiny shards of light in front of you?  Felt their warm body against your chest one moment, than simply thin air the next?  Have you ever felt something tear at your heart so viciously you were so sure the beating muscle would be ripped from your chest?  Felt that tear grow wider and wider until you could only give in to the pain because there’s nothing you could do about it?  Have you ever realised so many things in those few seconds after it all happened?  Only to have to come to terms with the fact that you’ve realised them too late? 

I have.

Sword Art Online, with its expanse of fantasy worlds and creatures, star-filled skies even when it’s the middle of the day, snow being thrown down upon you even though it’s supposed to be the middle of summer, an endless list of skills to learn that you can use to conquer battles and win them with honour and grace, doesn’t have a pain inducer. 

Well, it’s not supposed to.

So why did it hurt so much?  Why did I feel my entire being break along with the body I had clutched at so desperately?  Why did I hear my own voice, screaming in agony, after the last shard of light disappeared in front of me?  Why could I no longer feel myself, my fingers, my own beating chest?

They say, when someone dies, you go through five stages of grieving: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then finally, acceptance.  They say you make your way through these stages at your own pace.  Sometimes it takes years, sometimes it takes a few months.  I feel like I went through all five of them in the space of about two seconds.

_Eren!  Fuck!  No, you’re not dead!  Get back here!_

_I’m going to murder you, Oluo!  I’m going to skin you alive and use your meat to feed your loved ones!_

_If I don’t kill Oluo, do I get Eren back?  If I promise to be good, will they erase what just happened in front of me?_

_Why is this happening to me?  Why does this shit always happen to me!?_

All four thoughts, happening consecutively, no time or space between them.  Until finally:

_Eren’s gone now.  His health bar hit zero.  He’s dead._

Just because you hit the acceptance phase, doesn’t mean it feels any better than any of the other four stages.  But I needed that fifth stage.  I needed it to clear my mind, to make me realise, to make me understand.  After I had accepted Eren’s defeat, my mind went blank.  There was a flash of blue, a man’s cry, something heavy in my hands disappearing from between my fingers, and then the body of the boy I had grown so close to over the past few months materialising in front of me.

It was like I was dreaming.  The edges of my vision were hazy, everything looked too bright, slightly out of focus.  But yes, that was definitely Eren in front of me, definitely Eren kneeling on the ice covered cobblestone, his eyes shut, his breathing even, as if he had fallen asleep in whatever land he had just come back from.

I shook him awake, and thanked whatever God was on my side today that his green eyes looked just as they always had; bright, clear, shimmering, angelic, beautiful.  Anyone around us probably thought I was out of my mind when I reached for him, clinging to his stiff body, letting myself break down while holding him.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had cried, but I knew then that Eren was one special motherfucker for me to have been crying so hard over him.  I didn’t even resist, was so tired of trying.  I had been telling myself Eren was nothing but a kid, nothing but a brat, nothing but a gorgeous, talented, majestic creature that I had no right to touch.  But if he was willing to have me, just as I thought he might be as he clutched at my heart, then I was more than willing to have him.

Fuck, I’m a sap.  I felt like the wooden beams holding the ceiling in place should fall right down and piece my eyeballs.  Not like I needed them.  The covers under my body shifted as I rolled over to my side, shutting my eyes tight and trying to rid the memory of Eren in my arms, Eren’s fingers between mine, his beating heart under my ear.

But I was kidding myself.  Eren, that round-faced, adorable bastard, had been invading my thoughts since I met him.  First I was just envisioning him dying in some horrid accident, so I wouldn’t have to take care of him.  Half the time, I honestly thought about killing him myself.  But there was something about him that kept me by his side, forced me to protect him, to lend him my advice and build him up as a suitable Sword Art Online player.

I didn’t know what that ‘something’ was, only that it was now overtaking my every thought, in every way possible.    It made me want to be close to him, made me excited to wake up and head down stairs to wait for him, made me happy to fight by his side as we grinded our way through the different floors.

I sighed heavily, sitting up and scratching the back of my neck.  I looked out the window, snow having dusted the sill and having caught in the window pane’s borders.  Outside was dark, the snow clouds having blocked out all moonlight. 

It was late.  He might be asleep.  I had a key to his room, had asked the innkeeper to give me an extra one without him knowing.  I could go in there quietly, join him under the covers, curl up by his side.  It wouldn’t be out of place.  I had done it before.  Even after the night he had awoken to me by his side, he had simply given me a smile, a beautiful smile that touched his eyes and made his face look five years younger, then wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him and burying his nose into my hair.

It didn’t help my sleeping situation, didn’t help how much I wanted to continue to share a bed with him.  It only encouraged me to sneak into his room sooner and sooner after we had both agreed to call it a night.  I’d wait five or ten minutes after we had said our good nights, just to keep up some semblance of normality between us, before my feet were picking me up and sending me to his door.  I’d let myself in, feel his arms wrap around me in that way that I absolutely loved, and I’d fall asleep to the beating of his heart.

Yes.  I am a sap.  I should be shot.

There was a tap on wood behind me, the door creaking open and shutting as someone entered.  I could see from the faded reflection in the window that it was Eren, but he looked different, he was wearing a different expression then he usually did when I saw him.  Not to say I didn’t like the expression adorning his perfect features now; they suited him so well.

I turned to look at him in full, not even surprised at the bed sheet that covered his body, knowing full-well there was nothing else underneath it.  So it was one of those nights, huh?  I hadn’t had a night like this for about a week; I was beginning to wonder if they’d never happen again.

I smiled at him, carefully looking up his body, from his bare ankles all the way up to his shivering shoulders.  I immediately grabbed the neck of my shirt and pulled it over my head, folding it neatly and placing it on the bedside table before kneeling on the mattress. 

“You’re cold.  Come here,” I motioned him over with a finger.  His lips twitched up slightly, his eyes hooding even further as he walked straight to me, dropping the bed sheet as he went.  I didn’t take much time to check out his naked body, at his defined muscles and his tanned skin on display, before he was taking hold of my shoulder and pushing me down.

His warmth was all over me, his knees either side of me, his shoulders hunched up as he rested his arms on my chest.  Fucking adorable. 

We lay there like that for a few minutes, his weight not even a problem.  His eyes, however, were.  They never wavered from mine, never once even flicked towards any other part of my body.  He just kept staring at me, his greens eyes full of something I couldn’t read.  But whatever it was, I knew I liked it.  I especially knew I liked it when his eyes slipped shut, his lips parting slightly and his face coming closer to mine.

I only chuckled, lifting my own face up so our lips met, warm and soft.  It was a slow kiss, a light one.  There was no sense of urgency, no sense of need, just patience and longing to stay like this for as long as we could.  He moved his lips against mine, the tip of his tongue darting out to play if I pressed just a little harder than necessary.  Then he was moving his arms up my bare chest, his skin causing goosebumps to rise all over me.  His arms wound around my neck, so when I dropped my head, they were supporting the weight.

I smiled softly, watching his eyelids twitch and his lashes flutter against dark cheeks as we continued to kiss like that.  I always watched his face when we did this; I never shut my eyes, not even to blink.  My eyes were always stinging after the fact, and I had to close them for several minutes afterwards as we lay in the aftermath of what we had just done, but it was worth it to see his eyebrows scrunch together if I nipped at his lip, or to see the skin of his cheeks twitch if I ran my fingers down his spine.  He was so ticklish.  It was so fucking cute.

Then his tongue was pushing past my lips in full, and I immediately pinned it to the roof of my mouth, sucking on the appendage and moaning as I did.  He moaned too.  It was delicious to listen too.  I didn’t want to waste any more time; I wanted him now. 

I rolled us over, my groin resting on his hips, listening to him groan at the friction as I did.  I immediately moved down to his neck, kissing and sucking, giving him some lovely purple bruises, my eyes watching his face out of the corner of my mouth as his breath hitched every time my teeth sank into his skin.

I started to move down his chest, licking and sucking and biting, biting harder, sucking harsher, licking faster as his moans continued to escalate.  I moaned with him as on one particular bite over a pert nipple, his hips bucks and met my growing arousal. 

“Levi!”  His cry met my ears, the sense of urgency in his voice making me halt my advances.  Had I gone too far?  Was that not what he was looking for tonight?  He had come to me, naked and willing.  Of course that gave me no excuse to go ahead and rape the kid, but I was never good at dealing with someone who sent me mixed signals.

“Levi!” He wailed again.  I felt shivers run up my spine at the pain in his voice. 

Shit!  What had I done?

“Levi!  Wake up!”

I let out a few quick and harsh breaths and my head jolted, the room disintegrating around me only to be replaced by one almost identical to the one I had been occupying before.  My eyelids were heavy and lazy, blinking open to meet Eren’s worried expression.  I let out a groan at him, reaching up a hand to rub my eyes, only then realising he was sitting up, his hands on my shoulders, his breathing quick and harsh as well.

“What?” I mumbled, pulling the sheet up over my chin as I felt the chill of the room seep into my skin.

“Y-you were having a nightmare!” Eren exclaimed.  His voice had gone shrill and the amount of concern etched into his features over the sounds I had obviously been making made my heart melt.

Let me tell you, boy, that was no nightmare.

“Was I?” I played dumb.  I didn’t want to have to explain why I was really making those noises, even though I so badly wanted to tell him.  But there is a time and a place for everything, and this certainly isn’t it.  Our relationship was already complicated enough as it was.

We weren’t dating, at least as far as I knew, but I was constantly taking his hand while we walked down through the different floors or sat at a table to eat.  He never protested, always squeezing my fingers tightly, his cheeks going pink.  We had made it a habit of sleeping together, literally sleeping together I mean.  I could no longer sleep in a bed by myself, too afraid I’d wake up and find Eren really had disappeared off the face of this game for good, that I hadn’t been able to save him in time.

We were always nit picking over things, the creases in each other’s clothes, the way our hair was styled, how messy we left the inn rooms when we left in the morning.  Okay, that was all me, but it felt like a couple thing.

I didn’t have a label for what we were, and frankly, I didn’t want one.  I was comfortable, happy, unbelievably so, as to how fast we had seemed to grow attached to one another since the ‘incident’.  I didn’t want it all to go away because I had fucked up again, realising Eren wasn’t ready for such a big step in making us any semblance of official.

Besides, how did dating even work in this world?  If we woke up tomorrow (God forbid), were we still dating or was it all just part of the virtual adventure?  Did it mean anything or was it all in my head?  Would it be totally out of line of me to track him down and devote myself to protecting him in the real world?  I’m sure he was just as much of a klutz on real legs as he was on fake ones, if not, more so.

“You were making horrible sounds!  Like you were captured and being tortured!  Are you alright?” The sheer amount of genuine fear he had to offer my safety was what made me want to lean up and kiss him right there and then, tell him he was being silly, that there was nothing wrong with me.  But again; a time and a place.

“I’m sorry I woke you,” was all I could say. 

“It’s fine.  But are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” I finally let him know.  “It was just a dream.”

A freaking good dream, at that.  But hey, life sucks like that.

“Dreams can be just as scarring as the real events,” he had relaxed onto his knees now, looking down at me, his features still filled with utter concern for my well-being.  You’ll make a lovely housewife, Eren.  “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” 

He looked hurt, looked crushed actually.  Fuck him.  Fuck him good.  I felt guilty for being a bitch to him, felt guilty for turning him away so harshly.  I shouldn’t, but I did.  The things this boy did to me, made me feel, I wanted to strangle him for it.  But at the same time, I was deathly afraid of just that. 

What if I hurt him for real?  What I had just done he could just brush off as me being my general, rude self, with a case of the sleep-grumps thrown in.  But what if I actually turned around and went too far one day, hurting him too deep to take it back, making him hate me.

I had already dodged that bullet too many times.  When I had told him I was gay; I had acted calm, but inside I was breaking at the thought of him ditching me because of such a fact.  That night with Petra; when I had treated him like trash and had still expected him to respect me for it.  I wouldn’t have blamed him if he really had left me after all that.  Even when I had got him killed; I was so sure he would wake up after he had collapsed only to glare at me angrily and shove me aside, storming out of my life and not even giving me the courtesy of looking back.  I had been terrified of visiting him in his room after the ‘incident’, but had forced myself to go accept the consequences of my actions.

Imagine my surprise when he had only smiled at me, accepting me to his side, making me feel more warmth with just his hand than I had in front of any fireplace.

I sighed heavily, reaching up to grab his bangs between my fingers, yanking him down, back to my side.  He yelped as I did it, mumbling something before pulling the covers back over himself and settling into the mattress again.

“Sorry,” I told him.  “But it’s not something you need to hear anyway.”

Even as I closed my eyes again, even as I felt his hand find mine under the covers, my thumb rubbing over his fingers, soothing his worries, I could still feel him fidget beside me.

“Was the dream about me?”

Yes.

“You’re not that important,” I sneered.  But even with my eyes closed, the silence between us, his stilled movements, I could tell he knew I was lying.  He had somehow become so in-tune to me, suddenly knew all that I was thinking, all that I felt, all that I wanted and all that I hated.  I don’t know why, I don’t know how, but it was becoming a pain in the ass.

Eren had always been so easy to read.  It was so entertaining watching his face contort in curiosity as he wondered, once again, if I could read his mind.  No, his expressions and body language were just one, big, dead giveaway.  But now he could do it to me too, and I didn’t realise how troublesome it was to have all your thoughts on display until I realised someone had put my worries behind a glass case for only Eren to read.

I hated him for it.  But I knew that I loved him too much to hate him for it truly.


	9. One Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And I know how a game like Sword Art Online can change a person!” Levi interrupted, still intent on convincing me this was a bad idea. “Do you honestly think those two are still the same people you knew three years ago? Do you honestly think they haven’t been affected by all this in some way? Take you for example: you’re no longer the scrappy little weakling you were when I first met you, and there’s no way you would be after the events of the past year!”  
> “Thanks?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all: I have made an ask SAO Eren and Levi blog on tumblr which you can find [here!](http://agility-hunter-blinding-speed.tumblr.com/) You can leave comments about current chapters, ask Levi and Eren anything you're curious about, or ask me questions about the writing of the story. ^^  
> FolloworI'llhateyou.
> 
> Now: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS! I know I've already posted a Christmas chapter, but now I'm presenting another gift for you lovely readers (cause I really do appreciate all of you!). You now have not one, but TWO chapters in a row. Partly because it's the festive season and partly because this was originally one chapter, ended up too long and I didn't wanna wait to publish the next part. so here!
> 
> I wish you all lots of love and snow (if you're on that side of the world) and gifts and cheer and happiness!

It has been three hundred and sixty-four days, four hours, twenty-three minutes and fifteen seconds, sixteen seconds, seventeen seconds, since I have met Levi.  Almost an entire year since I met this amazing online player, since I realised that my life was no longer limited to the small entirety of Floor Fifteen.  Almost an entire year since I went from being a boy who didn’t know Levi, to a man who knew him all too well. 

That’s been three hundred and sixty-four days, four hours and twenty-four minutes that I’ve spent by Levi’s side, learning not only the extent of my feelings for him, but also the extent of my own skills, of the skills one could learn within this game.  It certainly hasn’t all been fun and games, in fact, half the time it was never a game at all, but pure survival.  But I have loved every second I’ve fought by Levi’s side, every moment I have had a flash of self-discovery or realised something new about myself, all thanks to the man I can now never live without.

I’ve loved every second of learning about Levi.  About his expressions, his habits, his power, his speed.  I’ve loved every day of worming my way further into his life, of making myself known to him, to the point that he no longer saw me as a joke, but a force to be reckoned with.  I’ve loved every, single second of my time in Sword Art Online since Levi came into my life.

Or did I come into his?

I still don’t know.  But it doesn’t matter.  It’s just another mystery I may never solve, another clue that will always lead to a dead end.  I find it surprising that I’m okay with this; that I don’t mind not knowing how, or why, or what-for.  That I don’t mind not knowing, as long as I never have to know what it will be like to live a life without Levi in it. 

The pixels formed together, taking shape, colour and movement, the various buildings of the town becoming clearer as we entered the floor.  It was a pretty colourful town that I came to see.  It was pleasing to the eye, slightly larger than most of the other towns I’ve visited, and completely fitting to my current mood.

My chest swelled with pride as I realised where we were, how far I had come, all that I had learned that had enabled me to reach this point within this virtual reality.

“Welcome to floor Fifty-Nine, Eren,” I heard the soft voice beside me say. 

I turned to the man who I had accompanied here, to the man that had been the sole reason for all my achievements for the past year.

“It’s nice,” I commented simply, a little taken aback with wonder to say much else.  Levi snorted, hopping off the teleport platform and beginning to walk towards the centre of town and where I assumed we’d be spending the night.

“How does it feel to have made it this far?” Levi asked me as we walked.  He stopped by a shop’s front, peering into the window to look at the contents it held.  I could see his brows furrow in his reflection, could see him gauging whether or not it was worth his time to take a closer look.

“I’m a little stunned, to be honest,” I told his reflection.

“I gathered,” Levi replied, his eyes flicking to me, his head turning and giving me a curt nod before he headed into the store.  As always, I diligently followed.

As I waited by the door, watching Levi mull over the different accessories available on display, watching his face carefully so I would know which rings he liked and what belts he detested, I realised that it wasn’t just me who had changed over the course of the year.

Levi had grown so much as well.

He had gone from a surly, self-driven man with too many superiority complexes to count, who was slightly self-conscious and careful of his guarded secrets, to a polite, thoughtful, kind, honest, caring person who showed he cared about me more and more with each passing day. 

He had started scolding me for eating too many sweets, telling me to order steak for dinner more so I’d have more strength.  He fussed over my clothes, made sure I took great care of Crowning Glory, that I was always on time to meet him.  But he also met me with books he said I’d thought I’d like, rewarded me with food I hadn’t had in a few weeks and was craving, even though I had never told him so, had started giving me more kind looks than mean.

He had grown as a person as much as he had grown towards me.  It made me wonder, literally stop to think, how I had ever made my way through my days without him.  It made me wonder how I had entertained myself back in those dark and dreary days when I had nothing, no accomplishments or skills, to be proud of myself for.  I had given up on trying to thank Levi in any way, knowing nothing I could say, do or give would be enough to show how truly grateful I was that he was in my life, and here to stay.

“What do you think?” I heard Levi ask me, holding up a sturdy set of boots that would boost his speed by five. 

I was just about to tell him that I think the black leather would suit the rest of his uniform just fine when I gruff voice interrupted me. 

“Not nearly stylish enough for you, Pretty Boy,” the burly man announced, coming out from the back of the room and leaning over the counter to leer at Levi.

I would’ve pouted at the interruption, than glared for the not-so-subtle flirting, accompanied with a good punch to the guy’s nose for the look.  I would have happily done all that, if it weren’t for the man I was now currently looking at.

“On second thought, I decided I don’t need the boots,” Levi quipped, dropping the heavy leather back on to the counter and turning away decisively, showing the man the back of his cape while he stormed towards me, intent on leaving.

The man didn’t seem perturbed, only scoffed and stood up straight to head back towards his workshop, chuckling as he went.

Cropped blonde hair, a young face but an expression deemed with years of experience, a thick neck, thick arms, a thick torso and shoulders you couldn’t miss for kilometres.  I couldn’t believe who I was looking at, who I was seeing.

“Reiner?” I breathed.  I felt, rather than saw, Levi stop half way out the door, felt him look over to me.

The man behind the counter froze half way through his own door, turning to me to reveal blue eyes and a crooked nose that was unmistakable.  It was unmistakable because I was the one who had made it crooked.

“Eren!” He exclaimed, staring at me for only a second before that same smug expression he normally wore spread across his face, working his way around the counter and right up to me.  He clasped my hand and squeezed it tight, forcing me to let out an unmanly squeak at the crushing force of his grip.  Yes.  This was definitely him.  “I can’t believe this! “

His smug look had finally morphed into an honest grin, elated at seeing a familiar face.  Once I pried my hand out of his grip, I gave him my own smile, reaching up to clap a hand on his shoulder. 

Reiner, of all people, was the last person, out of those I knew in the real world, I would have expected to find in Sword Art Online.  We had never been that great of friends, but we had shared a couple of classes together and were slightly competitive when it had come to certain things (thus, his crooked nose, which had come about after a dodge ball game that had gotten out of hand).  But I knew him well enough to know that he certainly wasn’t a gamer, preferring to spend his time outdoors, playing football or, at least, attempting to best me in one of my preferred classes.

It was for this reason that I wasn’t just surprised to his face, but to see that, possibly the one time he had tried gaming at all, he had been caught up in all this life-and-death mess.  I’m sure the occurring events hadn’t shifted his perspective on gaming at all.

“Bertholdt!” Reiner suddenly hollered.  “Get out here!  Guess who’s come to visit?”

I looked back towards the workshop door, stunned to see the tall and lanky man bend slightly so he’d fit under the doorway and into the room.  The same shocked expression was mirrored on his features, before an equally excited smile spread across his tanned face and he was rushing over to grab my shoulders.

“Eren!?  What are you doing here?”

I couldn’t help but laugh, coming to the realisation that Reiner had followed Bertholdt (his committed gamer of a best friend) into Sword Art Online and had gotten stuck during the experience.  Dumb luck, indeed.

“Oh man!  Reiner, did you join Bertholdt in here and got stuck with the rest of us?” I was wide-eyed and excited to see my old school friends, beyond elated upon seeing people I knew and was rather fond of.

“Oi, shut it, Jaeger!” he grunted, his features turning into an expression of stern annoyance.  “Berty here-“

“Berty?”

“-made me line up with him for almost forty-eight hours for that Nerve Gear shit and the game in question.  I wasn’t going to let all that time go to waste and not get something out of it!  Plus, the guy behind us was being a dick to Bert-“

“Again, Bert?”

“- and I just wanted to see the look on his face when he realised I had bought the last one available at the store.”

Trust Reiner to rush to his friend’s defence and spend a massive amount of money just to exact his revenge on an unsuspecting rude and random stranger.  I covered my mouth as I chuckled, hardly able to believe that Reiner was now a living example of how revenge really didn’t benefit anyone.

There was a cough behind me, a deep one, and I turned to see Levi impatiently waiting right beside my arm, almost radiating a rather protective aura as he stared down the two men who were obviously so much taller than he.

“Oh, right!  Bertholdt, Reiner, this is Levi.  My friend and party member,” I told them both proudly. 

“Levi?  Lance Corporal Levi?  Of the Scouting Legion?” Bertholdt looked positively star struck.

“The same,” Levi simply answered.

“I can’t believe it’s really you!” Bertholdt grabbed Levi’s hand (much to the man’s displeasure) shaking it vigorously as he continued to sing the man’s praises.  “It’s an honour!  Both Reiner and I have been in awe of the Scouting Legion for months now!”

 “You never told me you were so highly ranked in your guild!”  I exclaimed dryly. “I hate you.”

I felt slightly betrayed that Levi had kept such an important fact a secret from me.  Just when I thought I was really beginning to make strides with Levi, I found something new about him that I should’ve known months ago.  It was always so humiliating when I found out from someone else as well.  I certainly should’ve known such a fact about my best friend before a guy who, up until five minutes ago, had never even met him.

“You should pay more attention to the leader boards then,” Levi told me, pulling his hand away from Bertholdt yet still moving closer to me.

“Yeah, Eren, seriously!  I mean, you said he was your friend,” Reiner was chuckling now.

“Shut it, Braun!” I barked at him, more annoyed now than anything. 

Reiner took the moment to laugh some more, Bertholdt giving me a look that told me not to be too agitated, that it could happen to anyone.  But that was Bertholdt’s look for everything Reiner said or did, and I wasn’t annoyed at the fact that it could happen to anyone, I was annoyed at the fact that it had happened to me.

“Anyway, it’s good that we ran into you,” Reiner was saying now, having calmed down from his excitement and had taken on a more serious tone.  I was paying attention to him now, knowing that Reiner wasn’t serious very often, only when it was truly important. 

“It is?” Levi asked, sounding positively bored.

“I can imagine with such a skilled swordsman by your side, Eren, that you’re pretty skilled with a weapon yourself.  Am I right?” Reiner gave my shining, aqua hilt that poked out from behind my back an inquisitive look.

I could only nod, making my health bar known along with my level sixty-eight status.  I knew if I opened my mouth, it would never shut again.  I just had too many stories to tell and too much excitement had built up over the year; I was more than happy to share to anyone who asked the wrong question.

“Great!  You can help us with an upcoming quest then!”

“Reiner, are you sure?” Bertholdt suddenly look worried. 

I scoffed at his expression, at how unsure he seemed of our ability to complete whatever quest the two of them had in mind.  I could see that both of them were only a little over level fifty, and was confused as to why they would be questioning if a level sixty-eight accompanied with a level eighty-five player wouldn’t be able to handle such a simple quest. 

“What’s the quest?” Levi spoke up.  Though I could see from his expression he wasn’t really interested, only asking because he was bored.

“Have you heard of Crystallite Ingot?” Reiner asked us both.

Both Levi and I nodded in unison.

“It’s a forging material, rare and invaluable at that, that resides in the hide of the Frost Dragon’s nest in the West Mountain down on Floor Fifty-Five,” Levi said, showing them that we both truly knew what they were talking about.

“But the Frost Dragon is too advanced for you two,” I commented.  “No offense but, there’s no way you two would be able to take it on without accumulating a huge amount of damage to both your health and your items stock.”

“Plus, I’ve heard rumours that inside the nest is an anti-crystal parameter.  Once in, there’s no way out,” Levi finished.

“We know all this!” Reiner fussed, obviously annoyed.  He had always been one of those people that couldn’t be told something he already knew, despite us having no way of knowing if he knew this information or not.  “Why do you think we’re stooping so low as to ask for your help?”

“If you want our help, then why are you insulting us?”  I could tell from his tone of voice that Levi was in no mood to take Reiner’s shit.  I gave him a confused look, asking him silently why he seemed so annoyed at this encounter.

I wasn’t treating him like Petra and him had treated me; I was very clearly making him a part of the conversation.  So why was he so annoyed?  Maybe he still had a small superiority complex, still unable to tolerate those who sat so far below him.

“He means no harm by it,” Bertholdt explained, always the one to try and patch up whatever wounds Reiner managed to create.  “We would really appreciate your help with this task.  We have a large order to complete, but neither of us have the skills or status to collect the materials we need.”

“And neither of us have the time to acquire the skills or status to go get it,” Reiner added.

So Reiner and Bertholdt ran this accessory shop.  That was pretty impressive, considering I had heard it got harder to run successful businesses the longer the game wore on.  Besides, those who did start businesses ended up getting restless and shut their shop permanently to work their way up to a higher floor, setting up shop there and starting the process all over again.

How long had Reiner and Bertholdt committed to his floor? 

“Forget it.” Was the curt and serious answer given by my counterpart.

At that, Levi turned to leave, opening the shop’s door and holding it, motioning to me that I should leave first.

“Wait, Levi!  We have to help them!”

“We don’t have to do anything.  It’s their own fault for taking on a job they can’t do.”  He was dead serious about this too.  I saw his eyes, saw them darken, his face set into a frown, intense and burning.  That was his defensive expression; the one he had worn when he had spoken to Oluo or when he fought a boss.  The one he wore when he felt threatened.

“Don’t underestimate us, Pretty Boy!” Reiner cried angrily.  “We can do the job easy enough, our forging and blacksmith skills will top anyone else you meet in our profession.  We’re sought after, which is why this client came to us in the first place!”

“It’s just the materials that are preventing us from completing it,” Bertholdt explained, far calmer than Reiner was.

“Levi,” I took on my own serious tone, determined to convince Levi to stay and help.  He couldn’t keep turning away from everyone he considered a threat, because sooner or later, he’d turn away someone he’d find he’d need later.  He had to realise it got to a point where a defence could only grow so strong, and sooner or later, he’d have to start letting people in.  “These are my friends in the real world.  I’ve known them for a long time.  They need our help, and between the four of us, that Frost Dragon would be no problem.”

“It’s not like we’re asking you to do this for free!” Bertholdt interjected.  “We’ll happily pay you.  Enough col for your efforts plus a free accessory from our shop!”

“Well, I wouldn’t say free.  Fifty percent off,” Reiner argued.

At this, Levi walked back over to us, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out to the sidewalk, slamming the shop door behind him.

“Levi!” I cried in protest as I was almost shoved to my ass.

“I don’t trust them.”

The simple argument against everything I had previously mentioned shocked me.  I knew Levi wasn’t one to trust someone just because I knew them, especially upon just having met them.  I knew that he’d have to work his way there like he would with any other stranger.  But I was still upset that he couldn’t get his head out of his ass long enough to realise that these were my friends from a world I hadn’t seen in so long, a world I actually missed at times, and that they needed our help.

But as I opened my mouth to argue, I remembered that Levi never said things like that unless he had a reason.  Levi had a reason behind everything he did; it was a fact, part of what made him Levi, one of the many things I had learnt about him.

“Why not?” I asked him, keeping my voice steady, but still firm.

“Something about that Reiner character.  The way he talks.  The way his eyes shifted as he was telling us about the quest.  The way he folded his arms when he brought it up.  The way he’s been slowly stepping away from us ever since.  The other one keeps fidgeting too, like he’s nervous to ask us, even though we’re the perfect people for the job.”  By the time he finished telling me this, Levi’s voice had dropped to a whisper.

I took what he said into consideration, but no matter how I looked at it, I couldn’t shake the fact that Reiner and Bertholdt were still my friends, still people I had trusted on a day to day basis back before Sword Art Online had taken over my existence.  It made it hard to see Levi’s perspective on all this.

“Levi, I know Reiner and Bertholdt-“ I began.

“And I know how a game like Sword Art Online can change a person!” Levi interrupted, still intent on convincing me this was a bad idea.  “Do you honestly think those two are still the same people you knew three years ago?  Do you honestly think they haven’t been affected by all this in some way?  Take you for example: you’re no longer the scrappy little weakling you were when I first met you, and there’s no way you would be after the events of the past year!”

“Thanks?”

“I’m just saying: don’t base your decision on how you knew them then.  Base your decision on how you know them now.”

Levi made a valid point.  I knew this, and I wanted to trust him more than I trusted the two men in the shop.  But I also had to realise where my loyalties lie, where they would once this was all over.  It’s not that I thought that once this game was finished, I’d never see Levi again.  It’s that I knew that once this game was finished, I would definitely be seeing Reiner and Bertholdt again, and I didn’t think I could face them as the man I am now if I told them no.

“I’m sorry, Levi,” I stated.  “But they’re my friends.”

I hated the look on Levi’s face, the look of betrayal and hurt that I never thought would be etched onto his features because of me.  I felt like every other scum that had crossed his past and had hurt him like they had.  I was now just one more person Levi was learning not to trust. 

“Fine.”  His voice was hard, cold.  “Contact me when you return.”

He didn’t say another word, walking right past me, glaring at nothing in particular in front of him as he stormed off. 

I stood there, feeling stupid and annoyed with myself.  Stupid for brushing Levi off, and annoyed that I felt I should feel stupid.  I was right in agreeing to help Bertholdt and Reiner, I was right in staying loyal to those I knew before I knew Levi.  But it was hard, because I knew Levi meant more to me than Bertholdt and Reiner ever could.

I gripped the handle to the shop’s door, hesitantly pulling it open and stepping back into the threshold of Reiner’s shop.  The both of them were arguing quietly about something behind the counter.  Bertholdt looked distressed over something.  I coughed to let them know I had returned.  Reiner’s face was shocked to see me again, but I gave them both a weak smile to reassure them that everything would be alright.

I just hoped I wasn’t wrong.

“I’m in.”

Bertholdt gave both me and Reiner a funny look.  I couldn’t place it, but tried not to read too much into it. 

“What about Levi?” Bertholdt asked.

“He’s…” Still very rude and obnoxious.  “…got a thing with his guild and can’t make it.”

I knew they knew I was lying.  I was a horrible liar.  But I still couldn’t change the fact that Levi had made his choice and there was nothing I could do to change his mind.

“Well, doesn’t matter in the end.  You’re a high enough level to do this with us,” Reiner told me, winding his way back around the counter and towards me.  He approached me near the door, clapping me on the shoulder once again.  “You’ll be more than enough.”

“Are you sure, Reiner?  Maybe we should put a notice up?  Get at least one more person to help?” Bertholdt was still fidgeting.

“Why would we hire someone we don’t know over Eren, who we can completely trust?” Reiner announced, still looking slightly annoyed at Bertholdt’s obvious distaste at Levi’s absence. 

Both of them finished telling the more finite details of the quest, letting me know the route they’d be taking and the strategy they had built that would defeat the Frost Dragon.  They incorporated me into this strategy after I told them what I could do and how I fought.  Then it was just a matter of settling on payment. 

In the end, I couldn’t agree to anything.  I felt too sick in the stomach, Levi’s hurt eyes still so clear in the forefront of my mind, and couldn’t push the feeling aside long enough to concentrate on the figures Bertholdt was suggesting.  I simply said it’d be a favour from a friend, then left to see if I could find Levi for dinner.

But Levi had disappeared.  Not just out of the town, but off the floor.  The little map next to his name in my friend’s list was far too different a terrain to be anywhere near me, and his little, flashing, green dot told me he was moving fast.  To what, I couldn’t tell.  But he wasn’t reachable for now.

That night, sleeping wasn’t easy.  It was the first night in months that I hadn’t had Levi’s warm body weighing on my chest, his fingers grasping at my shirt, his breath coming in quick pants whenever he had a nightmare, his eyes fluttering open, too bright to be healthy, once it was all over.  I missed him clinging to me when he finally woke up from his dreams, missed him hiding his face in the crook of my neck as he breathed through whatever pain he was feeling. 

I missed being with him, missed being by his side, where I belonged.

I don’t think I slept at all, and if I did, it was in short doses, too short for me to remember.  The dawn came too early for my taste, and getting dressed wore on my tired muscles.  I washed my face four or five times, trying to get the stinging feeling of tiredness out from under my eyelids, trying to become alert so I could focus on the day ahead and the task it held. 

Breakfast looked disgusting.  But I didn’t have an appetite, and couldn’t taste anything anyway.  So I forced some eggs down my throat and left the inn, walking quickly to the town’s teleport platform where I found Reiner and Bertholdt already waiting for me.  Reiner had a large, bronze, sword stapled to the back of his armour, while Bertholdt’s hung, long and threatening, from the holster on his hip. 

“Morning, Eren!” Bertholdt waved at me, his cheerful smile dampening my mood even more.  That lucky bastard wasn’t in the middle of a fight with his friend, didn’t have to go through this quest without his partner.  I grumbled a reply.

“Got everything you need?” Reiner asked, short and to the point.  I could tell he was more than ready to get this over with.  I was too, so decided to talk more to Reiner today than Bertholdt, whose happy demeanour would give him a broken jaw if he wasn’t careful.

“Yeah.  I do.  Let’s just go.”

I was eager to have this done, eager to contact Levi with good news, than go back to his side where I planned never to leave again.  I was already regretting doing this without him.  Not because I had realised I was wrong, because I wasn’t, but because I had spent an entire year forming myself towards Levi’s actions, his movements, his habits.  Now I had to quickly reform myself to fit to Bertholdt’s and Reiner’s fighting style.  I didn’t even know if such a thing would work.

The three of us stood under the teleport gate once it was free.  I took one last look around me, hoping, wishing, that maybe one other person would join us.  I knew I was looking in vain.

“Teleport, Western Hamlet!” Reiner cried, the familiar white light consumed us, then faded to reveal the ice covered town that was situated closest to the West Mountain. 

Once we had formed a party and had accepted the quest, we began the long hike up the mountain side.  The higher we got, the harder the wind blew and the faster the snow fell.  I made sure to hunch my shoulders under my coat, the fur of the collar tickling my chin as it brushed against my skin. 

The hike wasn’t just long, it was exhausting as well.  I wasn’t use to this kind of terrain, and on top of that, my lack of sleep was causing my sight to go fuzzy and my head to ring with pain from the forever, oncoming cold.  I felt like I was in hell, and kept wishing for it to end.  It didn’t help that neither Reiner nor Bertholdt seemed to have any troubles with the weather or the climb, both ambling along with their long legs as if they were simply walking up a set of stairs.  I envied them, but put all my effort into keeping up with him.

Reprieve was finally brought upon me when we reached the halfway point; the small cave we settled into kept the wind off my face and allowed us to build a fire while we continued to discuss strategy.  I sat as close as I could to the flickering flame, hunching over the warmth and trying to keep my teeth from chattering too loud.

“The weak point is on the back of the neck,” Reiner was saying, his voice raised so he could be heard over the roaring wind.  “One good swipe there and it’ll come tumbling down, no problems.”

“We’ll weaken its defences,” Bertholdt continued.  “Then when it’s lost a significant amount of health, it’ll be up to you, Eren, to land the finishing blow.  That skill you mentioned earlier should be more than enough.”

I could only sniffle in response, the cold having frozen my nose and effectively causing it to run uncontrollably.  I felt sick and horrible and kept wishing I could go home.  It was so tempting to just back out of this deal completely, use a teleport crystal and run crying back into Levi’s arms.  But a deal was a deal, and once I got up high enough, teleporting out wouldn’t be an option.

“Alright then,” I agreed weakly.  My eyelids were growing heavy despite my constant pain and I had to stop myself more than once from falling right into the fire’s centre. 

Sooner than I liked, we were moving again, leaving the safety of the cave and bracing ourselves against the wind and falling frozen rain.  My teeth continued to chatter harshly inside my mouth, and my eyes were stinging from the abuse the elements were giving them.

“We’re almost there!” I heard Reiner cry, heard him roar over the wind that was attempting to roar louder than him.  I thanked my lucky stars I had made it this far, but wondered desperately how I was going to fight in my condition.  I couldn’t see a single thing in front of my face, my ears were attempting to fall off and my head was throbbing from the wind’s temperature. 

Finally, I heaved myself over the last ridge, the mountain smoothing out to reveal bright, blue crystals of all shapes and sizes jutting out from its surface.  The flashing sunlight from in between the clouds caused a ripple of light to fall over the beautiful stones, their colours flickering and shining, a gorgeous contrast to the grey mountainside they resided on.  I gasped at the sight, taking it all in, and wishing I could share it with someone special, someone specifically special.

Bertholdt had mentioned that the entire mountain top was made of these crystals, had been formed over hundreds of years thanks to the Frost Dragon’s breath, and were now a viable land mark and often even a tourist attraction to the right kind of adventurers.  I was just disappointed these crystals were completely useless except for looking good; not at all what we were had hiked all the way up here for.  The hard part was still to come.

“I know you two are awfully large and everything,” came a voice from behind a large pillar of crystal.  “But I didn’t think it would take you _that_ long to make the journey.”

Someone specifically special sure had a way of constantly surprising me.


	10. First Instances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I swiped my hand in front of me, I opened my skills menu and I applied the skill I had been waiting to use for months. The one that had sat between Smite and Strike snuggly for far too long, going unused as I waited for the right moment to unleash its power. If this worked, if this was all that I thought it was, I had a chance in hell of coming out of this alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMFG GUYS WE DID IT! DOUBLE DIGIT CHAPTERS! (though this is like chapter 8 in my files cause the first chapter was a prologue and Levi's chapter was technically 6.5) BUT TECHNICALITIES! 
> 
> Q vQ I'm so happy I've finally reached this chapter! I'm so proud to have written this story as it is!
> 
> Hope you enjoy your third chapter in like a week.

“Levi!” I cried happily, not wasting any time being shocked that he was here, running to his side, snow flying up behind me as I went and mentally stapled myself beside him.

Levi looked up at me, his hood hiding his face and darkening his features, but I could tell that despite how upset he was, he was still happy to see me.  I smiled brightly, my teeth still chattering and my eyes still stinging, though the pain was far less evident now than it had been thirty seconds ago.

“You are a fucking moron,” Levi sniped at me, the familiar phrase ringing like bells in my ears.  I didn’t care if it was supposed to be an insult, it was still meant only for me, still came from Levi’s lips.  I’d accept anything from those lips at this moment.   “Your eyes have shadows under them, your lips are blue, your nose is red; I could hear your teeth chattering from kilometres away!  This is the top of a fucking mountain, why didn’t you bring warmer clothes?”

“I didn’t think about it,” I confessed.  It was true though, in all honesty, I truly thought the coat I had brought for the Christmas season would’ve been enough for me on this quest.  It didn’t occur to me that the climate could change just as it would on a real mountain.

“Moron,” Levi muttered again, opening his inventory and swinging a thick, woollen cape over my shoulders, tightening it around my neck and adjusting the shoulders so it would fit me better.  He reached behind me, pulling the hood over my hair and using the fabric to pull me closer to him.

I gasped at the sudden close proximity Levi had taken to me, gasped as his mouth came so close to mine, his breath warming my lips, the excess fabric of the hood hiding both of us from the world.  I could feel my cheeks burning and my ears going red, I could feel his eyes on my face, but couldn’t bring myself to meet those burning, blue eyes that would put the colour of the crystals around us to shame.

“I’m not here because I decided I trust Jack and The Giant over there,” he was telling me, his words were quiet and harsh, his tone completely serious.  I peered carefully at his eyes, at the stern look they were giving me.  “I’m here because I decided that if I don’t trust them, I’m certainly not going to leave your sorry ass alone with them.  That’s just asking for trouble.”

I gazed at his eyes, at the colour, at what they were telling me, at what it meant that Levi was here; once again, keeping his promise to protect me.  I nodded dumbly at him, watching as he let go of the hood and pulled away, reaching back and pulling up his own hood while telling me with his eyes all that he wanted to say and more.

“Levi!” Another excited voice called.  We finally broke eye contact to watch as Reiner and Bertholdt jogged through the snow covered plane to catch up to us.  “I’m so glad you could make it!”

Levi only scowled at the taller man, not offering any sort of reply.

“So,” I broke the awkward silence, now more eager than ever to finish this quest and go home.  “Where’s this dragon?”

“Sleeping,” Levi told me.  I looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.  “It’s nocturnal.”

I breathed a heavy sigh, realising we’d have to wait until nightfall in order to start this battle.  If I was exhausted now, there was no way I was going to be able to last until then.  I wanted to roll up in a ball, cover myself with the cape Levi had given me and fall asleep.  But I knew I had to suck it up and try not to seem like a big baby through all of this.  Though I was beginning to hate this quest more and more.

“We can just wake it up,” Reiner let out a chuckle as he said this, walking past us to what looked like a large hole  that resided in the very centre of the mountain.  Was that the dragon’s nest?

“Now you’re the moron,” Levi called after him.  “That dragon isn’t going to be happy we’re on its territory, and now you want to make it even angrier by waking it up?”

“We’re on a time limit here!” was the disgruntled reply.

The look Levi was giving Reiner’s back, the way his teeth were bared and his eyes were all but seething with rage; if Reiner had seen it, I’m sure it would have put him in his place.  But Reiner wasn’t listening, getting closer and closer to the edge of the hole, bending down to pick up large fragments of crystal as he went.

“We should listen to them, Reiner!” Bertholdt protested.  “This quest is going to be hard enough without making that dragon angrier!  We should think about this!”

Now Reiner was just too far away to hear us in the first place.  In the distance, despite all the snow that continued to thunder down around us, I could see the glint of the crystals in Reiner’s large hand, could see him raise it above his head, throwing it down into the hole with all his strength.

There was a sound like shattering glass that echoed up and out of the nest, the sound echoing around the entire mountain top, shaking the air and causing shivers to run up my spine.  There was a growl beside me before Levi had shot forward, racing to Reiner’s side to stop him from throwing another one of those crystal fragments.  I started to follow him, saw that Levi was already almost there when the entire mountain itself shook with enough force to knock all of us to the ground.

I fell to my knees, grabbing at the snow, trying to grip onto something, anything, as the shaking continued.

Suddenly as it had started, it stopped.  Everyone froze.  Bertholdt looked fearful.  Levi looked furious.  Reiner looked smug, and soon I realised why.  Snow was starting to form great clouds within the nest.  It turned and grappled as something stirred it on.  I could hear it then; the great gusts of wind that could only be large wings beating heavily against the air.

“Everyone at the ready!” I heard Reiner cry, saw him run back to Bertholdt to take our previously agreed upon position.  I saw Levi gaze up at the gigantic creature that appeared before us.  It’s piercing, blue eyes were narrowed, its long, sharp and heavy claws gleamed, it’s large and vicious wings were spread, its icy horns not doing anything to deter my growing fear of its appearance.

I had only seen a dragon one other time, and that had been long ago, when I had first started this game.  That dragon had been an earth dragon, feeding on rocks and boulders, and despite its high level and swift skills, it hadn’t even been half the size of the creature of ice that was in front of me now.

There was a hand on my chest, grabbing the fabric and pulling me out of my astonishment, dragging me back, out of harm’s way.  I blinked once, twice, before realising it was Levi who was trying to get me to move.  I snapped out of it, commanding my legs to take action, stamping on the snow underneath us as we ran.

“Get behind us!” Reiner was saying.

“Forget your stupid quest!” Levi was screaming.  “We’re not beating that thing today!  Let’s run out of the anti-crystal parameter and get off this godforsaken mountain!”

I could see Reiner wasn’t going to budge, that he was intent on completing this quest even if it killed him.  I was sorry to think that it just might.  But he wasn’t the only one.  Despite his previous timidness, Bertholdt had his own sword out, had taken a battle stance and seemed ready to go to war.  These two were just as stubborn as each other.

The two of them went forward, straight past us, straight toward the ferocious beast that was now hunching its shoulders, raising its head, opening its mouth and letting out a blast of cold air.  Both Reiner and Bertholdt went around it, barely avoiding the trajectory, leaping up to land ineffective hits on its sides.

“Those dipshits!  They’re going to get us all killed!” Levi and I had both stopped, were both looking back at the damage that Bertholdt and Reiner, try as they might, just weren’t dealing.  I could hear the resounding clang as their swords hit ice, could see them both stagger as the dragon used its tail to flick each of them to the ground like a horse would do to a fly.

“Eren!” I quickly turned to Levi, saw him unsheathing his sword, swiping at the air a few times to test his mobility before readying himself.  “Aim for the joints!  If we can slow it down, we can buy us enough time to escape from here.”

I nodded determinedly, taking out my own blade and running ahead, knowing Levi would catch up in no time.  The both of us ran past Bertholdt and Reiner’s still bodies.  I was staring at the dragon’s tail, trying to determine where and when it would strike next; already sure it wouldn’t bother using another part of its body any time soon.

“Levi, now!” I called, the both of us leaping out of the way of the tail’s strike just in time, using the momentum we had gained from our run up to go straight for the shoulders. 

Though the dragon was huge, it was still fast.  It stretched its wings and flung them down too fast for me to recollect, the body soaring up into the air and the resulting gust of wind sending both Levi and I tumbling towards the ground.  We were screwed!  That snow couldn’t be considered soft enough to cushion our fall, and with the speed we were going, we’d be lucky to stand up with our necks intact.

“Dammit!  Eren!” Arms were around me in an instant, a hand pushing my head into a strong chest before the thud as we hit the ground knocked the wind out of me.  The snow flew up around us, sending waves of the stuff in all directions as we fell into its icy blanket.

I groaned, lifting my head and feeling Levi’s limp hand fall from my hair.  I picked myself up, shaking the snow off me and quickly checking Levi’s face.  His eyes were clenched shut and his breathing was ragged, his health having taken a large hit because of the impact of the fall.  I was relieved to see his health bar hadn’t turned yellow yet, but it wasn’t far off it either. 

My health hadn’t taken nearly such a plummet, Levi having protected me from any significant damage I may have taken if he hadn’t been the one to take the brunt of the fall.  I clutched at his shoulders, trying to shake him awake.

“Levi!  Levi!” He only groaned in response, his entire body going limp.  I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t think.  Levi had been knocked out.  He was hurt, and he wasn’t going to recover in time to avoid the next attack.  I turned to Reiner and Bertholdt, my voice crying for their help, only to find their bodies had disappeared.

“Eren!  We got it!” I turned to see the both of them crawling out from the nest, Bertholdt placing the last of what they needed into his inventory as they ran toward us.

“Levi’s hurt!  You have to help me carry him!”

I could hear the dragon above us, could hear its roar as it prepared itself for another attack that would surely wipe us out if we didn’t move fast.  It was too high up, none of us would be able to reach it, none of us were skilled enough in long-range attacks to bring it down. 

“Forget him!” I heard Reiner shout as he approached me.  “We have to move!”

I wanted to scream.  I wanted to cry.  I couldn’t remember the last time I had been so scared.  All my bravery had disappeared along with Levi’s consciousness; all of my willpower to fight had dissolved along with the majority of Levi’s health.

“I can’t just leave him!  He’ll die!” I cried, begging with my eyes for one of them, both of them, to pick him up and carry him out.  I couldn’t do it on my own.  Levi might be small, his weight never having presented to be a problem when he had been sleeping on my chest, but he was weighed down with wet clothes and a heavy sword.  I didn’t have that kind of strength.

“If we carry him, we won’t make it out of the parameter in time!” Reiner didn’t stop, rushing past me and towards the mountain’s trail, towards the exit, towards safety.  I saw Bertholdt follow him, saw him turn to me only slightly to give me an apologetic look, before the both of them disappeared from my sight in a haze of snow and ice.

I shivered.  I stared, dumbfounded, at where they had once been.  They had left us.  They had betrayed us without a second thought.  They had been using us from the beginning, knew we would try to take on the dragon so they could sneak into the nest to get their crystallite ingot.  Knew they’d be able to escape, and had only hoped we would be able to also.  Only we couldn’t.

There was another roar.  I looked up just in time to see a wave of ice rain down upon us.  I screamed with fear through the attack, hunching over Levi’s body, trying to protect it as best I could.  It seemed like it went on forever, seemed like the ice was eating at my neck and beating bruises into my back for hours and hours.  Finally, it stopped, and there was a crash as the dragon landed on the ground behind me. 

I turned to look at it, turned to see it hadn’t had enough.

I shook Levi again, trying to get him to open his eyes.  Both of our health bars were yellow, both of us were so close to dying.  Levi only twitched and shuffled, but he didn’t move in full, didn’t move with any sort of purpose.  I let out a heavy sob, hugging his limp body to me, breathing in his scent that I had come to memorise, feeling the shape of his chest one last time before placing him carefully back onto the snow.

He groaned once, I barely heard him whisper my name as I stood up, taking a firm grip on my blade and turning towards the enemy.

I couldn’t give up; not without a fight.  I could do it.  Barely.  I could beat this creature.  I could slaughter him with what I knew, what I had, with what Levi had taught me.  I might die in the process, or I might die afterwards, but at least I would have tried.  Besides, if I was going to die, I’d be more than happy to die protecting Levi.

I swiped my hand in front of me, I opened my skills menu and I applied the skill I had been waiting to use for months.  The one that had sat between Smite and Strike snuggly for far too long, going unused as I waited for the right moment to unleash its power.  If this worked, if this was all that I thought it was, I had a chance in hell of coming out of this alive.

“Don’t worry, Levi.  This time, it’s my turn to protect you.”

I flew forward.  I ran with as much speed as I could muster.  I felt like I was gliding over the snow, felt like I wasn’t even touching the ground as I drew closer and closer to the Frost Dragon.  I could see it watching me, could see it raising its claws, bringing them forward to swipe at me.  I leapt over them, evading its attack completely, landing on the dragon’s scaly arm.  The attack hadn’t slowed me down, hadn’t even caused me to hesitate as I pounded my legs against the dragon’s limb, drawing higher and higher, closer and closer towards the dragon’s neck.

I felt the dragon’s entire body shift as its wings came into play.  I skidded to a stop, raising my hands and plunging my blade into the shoulder, the ice cracking around the sharp tip as it gave way.  Then there was a rush of wind and my feet were thrown out from under me as the dragon took flight.  I clung for dear life onto my blade’s grip, screaming through it all as the dragon continued to climb higher and higher, attempting to shake me off.

As it finally slowed, as I was able to get my footing once again, I ripped my blade from its shoulder, continuing to run up the dragon’s body.  I knew where I had to hit, where I had to aim.  I leapt into the air again, bringing my blade behind my back, stretching my arm across me, and unleashing my attack at last. 

It was a blur of swirling blue, grey and white as I flew through the air, the world whirling around me, the sound of ice splitting open echoing in my ears as I felt my blade slice through the dragon’s neck.  I felt myself slow, felt myself stabilise in mid-air long enough to see the damage I had done.  Not enough.  So I did it again. 

Like the spinning blade of a table saw that slices through wood like a knife slices through cheese, I spun like a vortex, ripping through the same line of ice once again, widening the cut I had previously placed, deepening it as well.  I did it again.  And again, and again, and again.  I sliced through its back, used the energy to continue right around its neck, down its back, over his hide, right through its tail, completely cutting the offending extension off.

Then there was snow under my body as I crashed to the ground.  I hadn’t realised we had been losing altitude, but sure enough, as my body slid to a halt beside Levi, I realised I was back on a solid surface.  I didn’t waste any time in getting back to my feet, applying the skill again, ready to rip through the last of what was keeping that dragon together.

“Eren!” I heard a deep but weak voice behind me.  I turned, seeing Levi struggle to his feet, saw him open his menu and apply a skill of his own, readying his blade and nodding at me.  “Together?”

I could only grin, nodding enthusiastically, the fear that had driven me on abating completely as I was joined by my partner once again.  Now I was running on pure adrenaline.

“Together.”

With Levi’s injury, he wasn’t as fast as he usually was, but he didn’t need to be.  The dragon was weak, slow, clearly collapsing in front of us as its health continued to drop.  I halted in front of it, holding out my arm, feeling Levi grasp it as I used my agility to leap into the air, throwing him ahead of me. 

I shouldn’t be surprised, right?  I shouldn’t be surprised to see my skill in action before me, see Levi unleash the exact same power as I just had, only a hundred times more graceful.  I shouldn’t be surprised that my rare skill was shared with the one man who had committed himself to this game in full.  I shouldn’t be, and I smiled to myself as I realised I was.

Because if Levi continued to surprise me, if Levi continued to show me new things, if Levi continued to raise the bar at which I was trying so desperately to reach, then he would always be the Levi I had come to know and cherish.

Once last hit from my blade, one list strike through its broken, icy hide and the entire dragon shattered with one final roar.  The broken ice of its scales glowed around me and dissolved into the swirling blizzard.  The air around us calmed and the mountain went silent.  For just a moment, both Levi and I were suspended in mid-air, able to look over at the setting sun, at the way it caused the entire mountain range to turn purple.  It was beautiful.

I landed heavily back onto my feet, stumbling slightly and slipping on the ice.  As I righted myself, I turned to look for Levi, to see if he was relieved as I was that it was finally all over.

“Levi?” I called, turning this way and that.  It took me a few worried filled moments and a relocation before I finally found him, collapsed in between the crystal fragments and panting heavily, grasping at his chest and visibly willing the pain to go away.  I rushed to his side, quickly holding a red crystal over his body and letting it shatter above him, his numbers rising and his health bar filling with green.

I watched him slowly recover from the ordeal, sitting up more comfortably beside me, still panting but no longer in pain.  My fists were clenched over my knees, my eyes stinging, though the wind was no longer the reason.  I felt the first cold drops crawl down my cheeks, felt them freeze there before falling from my skin.  Despite how painful it was to cry in such cold weather, I couldn’t stop.

“You almost died,” I sobbed, now hunching over, clawing at the ground.  “It’s all my fault!  I should’ve listened to you!  I should’ve gone with you!  I didn’t!  I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry.”

My shoulders shook and the snow melted under my falling tears, my body wracking with the guilt that came with almost killing the most important person in the world to me.  I raised my head, watching Levi through my tear filled eyes, trying to gauge his reaction through the blob of colours.

I knew he wouldn’t leave me.  I knew he wouldn’t hate me either.  He might be mad, but he’d never leave my side.  That only made me feel worse; that something about me was keeping Levi here, where he was put in danger over the most ridiculous things.  Now, looking back on it all, it seemed so obvious to choose Levi over the traitors that were Bertholdt and Reiner.  It seemed so obvious to choose Levi, the man who had given me no reason to distrust him, over two boys I had felt loyal too only because they were the last pieces of a world that was slowly disappearing from my memory.

“You’re right,” I heard him say.  “It is all your fault.  I told you they were both in on something, told you they were both up to no good.  You can be such a-“

“-a fucking moron,” I finished for him.  “I know.”

There was silence between us, only my broken gasps filled the air to mix in with the roaring wind around us.  I cried into the palm of my hand, attempting to stop the onslaught of pain that seemed to be overtaking my every sense.

Then there was a gentle hand on the back of my head, stroking my hair, moving to the nape of my neck and bringing me forward.  I only looked up long enough to see Levi’s features, serene and promising, before his lips were on mine.

It was a clumsy kiss at first.  Awkward, almost.  I could feel Levi holding his breath as his lips pressed against mine, could feel him testing me.  But soon I felt my entire body go limp as he moved his lips.  I automatically opened my mouth, I don’t know why, and his taste was incredible.  I relaxed into the kiss, showing him I was okay, that I wanted this, probably just as much as he did.

And then it wasn’t clumsy anymore.  His tongue invaded my mouth, his hands holding me fast to him, one on the nape of my neck still and the other cupping my jaw, his thumb stroking my cheek softly as he continued to lap at the contours of my own tongue.  I raised my hands to grasp at his collar, bringing him impossibly closer to me.

His breathing was heavy again, though this time, I wasn’t so worried, because mine was too.  I could feel his body shiver when I whimpered, could feel his grip tighten when I leant my head a little, giving him better access to me.  My head was swimming, my thoughts were jumbled, my neck ached slightly from the harsh angle.  But I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to break away from him, from this man, from Levi.

Though he did, our lips separating with a wet sound, though he still kept close to me, still brushed his lips against mine as I whimpered just slightly.  I was looking into his eyes now, into the impossibly, bright blue irises that put all crystals to shame, that made all skies seem dull in comparison.  My hands moved up, my arms wrapping around his neck and pulling his body to me.

“I promised I’d always protect you,” he spoke quietly against my lips, his eyes flickering between each of my own.  “So I guess that makes me a fucking moron too.”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread over my lips, couldn’t help but use my arms to bring his mouth to mine again, eagerly welcoming his advances this time as his hands moved to my waist, his fingers pinching my hips.  Soon he pulled away again, further this time, to look at my face in full.

“Eren, I love you,” came his words, his voice so soft and sincere, his eyes screaming with a silent fear of rejection.  I happily cupped his face, using my thumbs to trace the shape of his features.  My thumbs brushed over his narrow eyes, his long and even jaw, his thin lips, as I attempted to memorise every dip and curve of his face in those few seconds.

I moved my lips over his, not kissing him fully, but close enough so our lips brushed.

“This moron fucking loves you too,” I breathed, his lips back on mine in a heartbeat, his arms fully around my waist, crushing me to his chest, his breath fanning against my face. 

In all my life, in all that I had experienced, before and after meeting Levi, there was never a moment I had wanted to last forever.  I was always content with the flowing passage of time, always ready for whatever life would throw at me next.  But it was so easy, with Levi’s warmth surrounding me, his tongue and his lips and his breathing invading my senses, to want time to stop just for a moment, not so it could last forever, but so I could experience these first instances of something special just a little longer.

\---

Floor Sixty was peaceful, calm, serene, and blue.  The soft shading of the lights covered the streets and the grey of the buildings, the walkways almost danced as the light caused the different shaded stones to flicker under your feet.  The fountains, monuments, plaques and signs were all painted a turquoise, the flashing white inscriptions making whatever announcement necessary stand out against the surrounding colour.  It reminded me of Levi.  I could see why this was his home.

Once in Levi’s house though, I could see that he was a far simpler man than I gave him credit for.  A grey couch, white dining chairs, a wooden table, a small kitchen, a hallway that lead through to the bedroom and the adjoining on-suite.  His small apartment wasn’t made up of much, but it didn’t need to be.  My house back home was always cluttered with things from a distant past, stuff that neither I nor my sister had wanted to throw away, but still never used.  Levi obviously cleared out his home often, and cleaned it thoroughly too.

“Make yourself at home,” he told me, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the coatrack in the foyer.  I copied him, slipping off my boots also and placing Crowning Glory next to his own sword which was leaning against the wall.  “I’ll make us some tea.”

I followed him towards the kitchen slowly, looking over the small artefacts that Levi did have.  Some of them I could tell were mementos from different completed quests.  Other things were just small statues or antiques that complimented the aura of his home nicely.  I made my way into the living room, making my way over to the bookshelf and peering at the various titles.  There weren’t any that I had heard of, though I wasn’t sure if these were real books or books written and only available in Sword Art Online.  Either way, he seemed to have quite a collection.

Then I joined Levi in the kitchen, leaning against the counter as I watched him place the kettle on to boil and ran the cups under hot water before drying them again and placing them beside me.  The tea bags read ‘jasmine’. 

My thoughts were filled with Levi once again as I felt him wind his arms around me, his small form leaning against me and his nose buried into the crook of my neck.  I hugged him also, taking in his scent, his warmth, the feel of him.  I smiled at the thought that his beating heart was now mine.

“It’s done now,” I felt his mouth brush my collarbone as he spoke.  “It’s over.  I’ve repaid my debt.”

I lifted a hand to tangle it in his hair, combing through the strands and humming slightly. 

“Don’t think you can get rid of me that easily,” I chuckled, pressing my lips to his forehead.  I felt him scoff against my neck, felt him smile, his body relaxing as he realised I wouldn’t be leaving him as he thought I might. 

It made me wonder, as I gripped him tighter, tilting his head back so I could land my lips on his, what other insecurities Levi could possibly have.  For someone who talked big, who was so sure of so many things, the one thing he never seemed to be sure of was himself.  He was always asking silly questions that he should know the answer to, was always testing the waters before diving right in. 

I know, at times, that was just human nature.  But it confused me to think that, even if it was for a small moment, Levi might think I might end everything that was now built between us simply because we had finally reached our destination.  All those karate movies and old prophets were right: it really is the journey that makes life worth living to the fullest.

“Have sex with me.”

I heard it.  I know I did.  But it took several moments for the words to truly register in my head.  I glanced down at Levi, at his serious face and his hardened eyes, his lips set in a line, determined to make this happen.

“Uh-“ I didn’t even know how to respond.

“I told you I love you.  Now I want to show you that I love you.  You say you won’t leave me, and I believe you, but I want to feel that physically.  I want to feel you give yourself to me.  I want you to feel me give myself to you.  You’ve probably already guessed I don’t trust easily, or even at all.  I trust you.  So now, let me show you the extent of my feelings for you.  I want every box ticked, every line crossed.  I want nothing unfinished.  Not with you.”

I don’t know whether it was his voice or the words that his voice was saying, but it all sounded so good.  I know I should be questioning this, should at least be hesitating slightly.  I had only turned gay (if that’s what I was now) a few hours ago.  I had only discovered the entirety of my feelings for Levi upon that first kiss, and now I was considering taking the step that some couples took months to take.  I should tell him to wait, tell him it was too soon.

Except that it wasn’t.

I don’t know how long Levi had been in love with me, but I knew I had fallen in love with him sometime around the one week mark.  It had taken me fifty-one more weeks to discover that part of myself, but when I had, I hadn’t questioned it, not even a little, not even at all.  I felt this wasn’t too fast.  I felt this wasn’t too soon.  In truth, Levi and I had taken fifty-one weeks to take this step.  That was long enough.

That was long enough for me to know what I wanted from Levi, and what I wanted to give to him return.

 


	11. All About Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I was naked. Completely naked. Wearing nothing but my birthday suit (which is just a fancy way of saying that I’m naked) and was under the gaze of the man I loved. My mind was going a thousand miles a minute. My heart was beating so fast in my chest. I didn’t know where to look, where to touch. It didn’t help that Levi hadn’t taken off a single piece of clothing yet and was now eyeing me in that way that he eyed boss’s before delivering the final blow; cocky and shamelessly powerful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, don't lie to me. it's the chapter you've all been waiting for. The one chapter you'll skip to and re-read over and over again. the climax. (literally, hon hon hon)
> 
> aaaaaaaaaand there is nothing more to say. 
> 
> ta-da

I knew so much about Levi.  I knew he liked sweets but only on certain occasions.  I knew he hated green vegetables but still ate a healthy serving of broccoli with his dinner.  I knew he wouldn’t stop fussing over his bangs until they were parted in exactly the right way, or he’d be stressing over it all day.  I knew he was ambidextrous, but still preferred using his right hand for sword play and his left hand for writing.  I knew the shape of his eyes by heart, knew the curve of his shoulders and had memorised the way his hips swayed when he walked.

I knew all this so well, but still felt like I was learning Levi all over again.  Everything was moving so fast, but I was watching it all in slow motion.  The lights had faded to black rather than switching off suddenly.  Making our way to Levi’s bedroom with our arms around each other and our tongues in each other’s mouths had taken hours, not seconds.  Levi had dragged my shirt over my chest slowly and deliberately, rather than having ripped it off and thrown it across the room.

Then his lips were on my chest, his hot breath setting my skin on fire, causing me to cry out as his tongue came into contact with my muscles again and again.  One hand was clutching my hair, while the other was making its way down to my pants.  I was too busy trying to keep up with it all to do much in return, and it pissed me off that Levi had managed to make me this way.  Sure, I didn’t mind being a writhing, speechless mess underneath his touch, but I hated selfish people in bed, and was determined not to become one of them.

But it was kind of hard to get my thoughts sorted out long enough to figure out what to do with my hands when Levi was now unbuttoning my pants and yanking them off my legs. 

“You don’t wear underwear, Eren?” I heard his deep voice, could feel his lips brush my navel as he kissed my stomach.  The shivers that ran up my spine had me mewling, had my fingers clutching the sheets and my eyes clenching shut.  “Naughty boy.”

So I was naked.  Completely naked.  Wearing nothing but my birthday suit (which is just a fancy way of saying that I’m naked) and was under the gaze of the man I loved.  My mind was going a thousand miles a minute.  My heart was beating so fast in my chest.  I didn’t know where to look, where to touch.  It didn’t help that Levi hadn’t taken off a single piece of clothing yet and was now eyeing me in that way that he eyed boss’s before delivering the final blow; cocky and shamelessly powerful.

“Sh-shit!” was all I could cry as a wet heat suddenly engulfed my member, a hot tongue pressing to the underside of it while blunt fingernails dug into my hips.  I couldn’t help it; it was my default reaction, thrusting my hips up so I could shove my dick down Levi’s throat as far as it would go.  Unfortunately, Levi didn’t have some magical ability that allowed him to ignore his gag reflex, and he yanked his head back, coughing and hacking.  “S-sorry, Levi!”

I didn’t want to use the excuse ‘I’m new to this’.  Partly because I was already pretty ashamed of myself and partly because it wasn’t entirely true.  I wasn’t a virgin in the technical sense of the word, but I was still pretty inexperienced.  I knew enough of what to expect that I wasn’t nervous; besides, how could I be nervous even if it was my first time.  It was Levi.  But I was still new to this kind of sexual attention.

The few girls I had done anything with were pretty unreliable when it came down to doing anything for me other than the basics, so the fact that Levi had just gone down on me with no warning caused me to react in a way I really hadn’t wanted to.

I lifted myself up so I was leaning on my elbows, thankful that the darkness of the room would hide my heated face.  I watched as Levi wiped his mouth with the back of his hand before placing it back on my hip, digging his fingernails in, telling me he was alright. 

He was staring at me now.  I could see the blue of his eyes shining through the darkness, could feel his gaze on the entirety of my body.  I looked away, trying to hide my face.  Then I felt fingers gripping my chin, pulling my face back towards him and then soft lips were attaching themselves to mine.  I sighed into the kiss, shutting my eyes and wrapping my arms around Levi’s neck, pulling him down so his clothed body was pressed up against all my skin.

Then it was just a matter of opening my mouth and letting him in, letting him explore, letting him rove, feeling his hands run their way up my sides, feeling his hips roll against mine slightly.  It was a strange feeling, feeling another arousal against mine, but it was a feeling I quickly got used to, reminding myself over and over again that it didn’t matter what Levi was, but it was because of who he was that I was more than happy to be doing this with him.

 _This_ was familiar.  Just letting him kiss me, feeling his beating heart against mine, his hands in my hair.  _This_ didn’t take any thinking at all.  It was so easy.  It felt so good.  I don’t even think it was instincts that made me so content with just doing this; I think it was both me and Levi’s hyper awareness of each other.  I already knew he liked it when I nipped his lips slightly, teasing him, baiting him, so he could press against me tighter, more aggressive.  I already knew he liked it when my hands were in is hair, because he liked winding his arms around my waist. 

So it occurred to me; maybe I just needed to stop thinking in general.  Kissing Levi had come as easy to me as walking, as breathing.  Why should sex be any different?  If I stopped thinking, ignored my instincts, and simply let my feelings for Levi, all these raw emotions I had for him, run wild; sex wouldn’t just be easy, but delicious as hell, too.

My fingers trailed their way down from Levi’s short strands, brushing his neck, running over his shoulders, scraping their way down his chest to the hem of his shirt, where I lifted it up and slipped my hands underneath.  He was so warm.  He was so firm.  I could feel every muscle.  Every time he shifted on me, his entire chest flexed and moved.  Every time I rolled my hips up, I could feel his stomach contract and his breath stop slightly. 

I kept pushing my hands up his skin, taking the fabric of his shirt with me, pulling away from his lips only long enough to bring it over his head and let it fall to the floor.  I didn’t hesitate, immediately going for his pants button, unhooking it from the hole, ripping the zipper down and pushing the fabric over his ass.  I took my own sweet time, too, feeling over the curve of his bottom and the indent of his divide.  I decided I liked it.  I decided I liked it very much.

I shoved my hands under his briefs, shooing away the fabric so I could squeeze and roll the soft flesh under my hands, pushing him down so his hips came into contact with mine, moaning softly against his lips, watching his face as his eyes slipped shut and his mouth fell open, panting and mewling, letting out the most wonderful sounds. 

“E-Eren!” I heard him moan, felt his breath on my face.  “L-let up on the ass groping for a second!  Let me get naked, dammit!” 

I smiled, brushing his lips with mine before obeying with his wishes and moving my hands up so they relaxed on the small of his back.  I felt Levi bury his face into my chest, felt his own chest move quickly and heavily as he panted on top of me.  I could see the sheen of sweat that was forming on his skin, could feel him tremble against me.  My heart swelled, thinking he couldn’t get more beautiful than he was now.

Then Levi was shifting, sitting up so he could pull his pants and underwear the rest of the way down, letting them slip off his toned legs and fall to surface of the bed. 

Okay, so he really could get more beautiful. 

I knew I was starring. Knew that my eyes had now glued themselves to his body, to the way his toned chest dipped and curved, to his navel, the dark hair that ran down from it to his bottom half, where I couldn’t begin to describe what I was looking at.  To be honest, I had been slightly scared of what I’d feel when I saw Levi completely naked.  I didn’t want to back down; I had made too many promises.  I couldn’t live with myself if I ended up disappointing him.

Yet once I laid eyes on Levi’s dick, standing tall and proud and because of me, I couldn’t help but feel instant relief as I felt my mouth fill with saliva, felt my hands twitch and my toes curl, my eyelids growing heavy and my own arousal becoming painful at the arousing site of Levi before me.  I also felt like a whore once I let out a moan at the site, let my legs spread and saw Levi’s eyes fly to my crotch to watch as I presented myself to him. 

I found I kind of liked that feeling as well.  Was it time to stop learning things today?

“Eren,” Levi started, still kneeling between my legs, not touching, only looking.  “Exactly what do you want me to do to you tonight?”

My hands balled into fists, annoyed that now Levi was making me think, just when I had made the ultimate decision not to. 

“Is this dirty talk?” Not that I wasn’t up for that, because I definitely was.  But Levi’s tone was a little more serious, a little less alluring, for it to be what I initially thought he was trying to start.

I saw the white of his teeth for a moment as he scoffed quietly.

“No, I’m being serious,” he explained.  “I’m not going to be so naïve as to assume you’re a virgin, but I definitely know this is the first time you’ve done this with a guy.  I’m not going to lie; the basic concept of it is awfully similar to sex with a girl.  But I don’t want you to think of it that way.  Partly because I don’t want you comparing me to a girl, and partly because I want you to enjoy this as you should.  So I need to know what my boundaries are before I start on you.  I don’t want to cross a line I didn’t know was there.”

It all made a lot of sense.  Quite frankly, the kind of courtesy Levi was now offering to me was the kind of courtesy that should be found in all acts of love.  Not only that, but Levi was trying to show me the kind of courtesy he wanted extended to him.  I already knew I couldn’t think of this as like sex with a girl and do my best with the parts that were different, because I wouldn’t get anywhere if I did it that way.  But it was comforting to know Levi wasn’t afraid to let me know this, could tell me his secret fears in amongst one of our most serious acts.

“I don’t think I have any boundaries,” I answered honestly, trying to shut my legs at least a little while we had this conversation.  They weren’t co-operating.  “I have more things I want to try with you than things I’d rather not go near.”

“I’m going to just go ahead and say that obvious shit like ‘S’ and ‘M’ is out, along with what other sick kinks people have thought of over the years.”

I nodded gratefully, thankful that at least Levi could read the ‘needless to say’s. 

“Then I’m going to try and suck you like a lollipop again,” he announced, shifting back and lowering his mouth to the head of my member, blowing on it and making me whimper.  “Try to have some self-control this time.  I actually have quite a small gag-reflex.” 

I smiled at him, nodding once again, and praying that all the talk was now over and I would be able to feel Levi again.  I was getting tired of waiting, despite knowing how necessary our little chat had been.

This time it was a lot easier to keep my hips still when I had a bit of warning.  But my throat suddenly let out a chorus of whines and whimpers, my head thrown back against the pillow as Levi put wet pressure onto my cock.  I felt like I was learning rather quickly that Levi wasn’t a tease at all, that he liked getting straight to the point, swallowing as much of me as he could in one go, sucking harshly, trying to get me to the back of his throat.

I urgently sent messages to my fingers to move, one hand lifting finally and my fingers burying themselves in Levi’s hair.  I had to sit up slightly to reach, my other hand keeping me upright as I pulled on Levi’s strands with each harsh suck he gave to me.  The harder he sucked, the harsher I pulled.  I was starting to worry I was hurting him, but when he let out a deep moan, the vibrations doing wonders for my arousal, at one particularly harsh pull, I discovered Levi liked me pulling at his hair.

So I did it harder and harder, pulling his head up by the smooth, black strands than pushing him down onto me again.  Soon I was controlling his mouth, controlling the rhythm, thrusting up slowly as I pushed him back on me again and again.  He sucked at me each time he came up, his tongue gliding along my cock each time he went down. 

“L-Levi!  Wow…this feels…really…good,” I tried to gasp out, tried to tell him.  I wanted Levi to know, along with all my wanton moans that had escaped me, how much I was enjoying having his mouth around my cock.  I wanted him to know how much he was getting me off.  I wanted him to know that he had nothing to worry about; that he could very easily get me good and hard, gender be-damned.

There was a slurping sound as he pulled his mouth off me, kissing my tip lightly, pressing it to his chin as he looked up at me.  Damn, those pretty eyes were now doing most of the work.

“You’ve never been sucked off by a girl then?” he asked, scraping his nails along my hips as he spoke.

I gave him a look that told him this better not become a habit, that he better not be teasing me about my lack of sexual successes for most of the night.  Whatever happened to not comparing him to a girl?  Though I guess asking me about them, and comparing him to one were two completely different things.

“No, I haven’t,” I told him, tugging on his hair again, telling him to sit up, begging him for a kiss.

While he leaned into me, mouthing over my lips, tongue playing with mine, his fingers tracing the contours of the muscles in my thighs, it occurred to me that maybe Levi wasn’t asking for the sake of my experience, but for the sake of wanting to know.  I already knew that it was a common theme to want to best all of your sexual partner’s previous experiences, to want to make them forget about anybody else.  I definitely knew I wanted to do this to Levi. 

But Levi wanted to know so he could best all the _girls_ I had been with.  He wanted to turn my thoughts on them upside down entirely, wanted to make sure it wasn’t them, or even any other guys that I thought of from now on.  He wanted it to be him.  I wanted it to be him.

“I’m going to start stretching you, alright?” Levi whispered against my lips.  I had no idea what he was talking about, just nodded and pressed my lips back to his. 

I was leaning back on both of my arms now, my chest arched up towards the man leering over me.  Levi was adjusting my legs, fitting them so my knees were bent comfortably over his own legs.  Then I felt something small prodding at my ass, making me gasp and yelp all at the same time.  It didn’t slow Levi, who had obviously been expecting some sort of reaction, who continued to run his fingers around the rim of my anus, the pads of his fingers cool and slick.

“Wh-what is that?” I asked nervously, not wanting to seem as naïve as I was but honestly curious as to what the cool sensation that was now touching me was.

“It’s called lotion.  Despite popular belief, I don’t have this pretty face because of natural cause and effect.”  His lips were pressed into my collarbone, his nose running along the length of my neck, his breathing slowing down as he relaxed into me, my arms keeping us up.

“Alright.”  I tried to leave it at that, I really did.  “What are you doing with it exactly?”

I hated that that made him laugh, hated that I really couldn’t fathom what was going on.

“You have no idea how to have gay sex, do you?”

“I was straight for all seventeen years of my life until you!  Or don’t you remember?”

His shoulders shook as he chuckled against me again.

“This hole,” he accentuated his words by pressing against the hole he was now playing with, “is not meant for going in.  I have to finger you for a bit, or it’s only going to cause more pain than pleasure when we actually get to the sexual act.”

I muttered something under my breath.

“Don’t mutter, Eren, it’s not dignified.  What did you say?”

I felt him press a finger into me at that, and I immediately yelped slightly.  It wasn’t painful, Levi’s fingers were definitely slicked up properly, but it felt strange.  A good kind of strange.  I rutted back against his finger, testing the feeling more.  I made a few noises in the back of my throat, wanting him to add another.

“Eager, aren’t you?” His voice was low now; I could feel his bangs against my skin as he buried his forehead into my neck, concentrating on the task at hand.  Then his teeth were on my skin, biting down, his tongue stroking my flesh as he slipped another finger inside me. 

I whimpered as he started scissoring me, started making it known that there was actually two fingers inside of me.  I pressed back against them again, feeling his teeth scrape along my bone. 

“More,” I whimpered.

Levi complied.

“Another.”

Levi obeyed.

“Tell me what you said before,” Levi demanded, licking over the red, bite mark that I knew was there. 

“N-no,” I whimpered, desperate not to have him hear what I had embarrassingly admitted to myself.

A flash of white, a single shot of pleasure racing right up my spine, my head falling back against my shoulders, my throat letting out a whiny, breathy cry.  I don’t know what Levi did, what he pressed, but I wanted it again.  I panted heavily, mewling as I wrestled my head back up, looking into Levi’s eyes.  They had hardened.

“You like that?”

I could only nod.

“I’ll do it again if you tell me what you said.”

Go figure I fall in love with the guy who isn’t afraid to be a dick during sex.

“Nnng-“  I was having an internal debate with myself.  I really didn’t feel like saying it out loud.  I didn’t want Levi to laugh at me again.  I didn’t want to feel embarrassed in front of him anymore, but I really wanted him to do that again.  I really wanted that feeling back because it had been so, goddamn incredible. 

I let out a wail as he did it again.  I felt his fingers curl inside me, felt him bite into my neck before the flash of white took over my senses all over again.  The electric currents that I could feel running up my spine were so addicting.  My dick was throbbing with the sensation, making me whine.  I was breathing heavily and I was definitely sweating some, but none of this was stopping me from craving more.

“I said I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to have someone finger me.”

I expected him to laugh at me.  I expected him to tease me about it, to taunt me over it.  I expected to never hear the end of it.  So I was pleasantly surprised when, instead of all the jokes and prods that I had expected to come with my confession, I felt his fingers work their way deeper into me.  That electric sensation was back.

I let my chest heave with the effort it took to get oxygen to my brain, let my head roll back and my hips rut forward as Levi thrusted his fingers into me again and again.  I let Levi’s teeth sink into my neck again, felt his hot tongue push against my damp flesh.  I let out a wanton moan at each perfectly executed thrust of his fingers, clenching the sheets with my fingertips, not sure if I wanted it to stop so we could do more or to keep going and hope I’d have enough stamina to do more later.

“That’s hot,” I heard Levi breathe against my bruised skin, heard his breath coming in quick pants as he continued to work his fingers in and out of me.  I could only mewl, thankful that he thought so.

Then I felt his fingers leave me.  I let myself fall back, taking the time to grip Levi’s shoulders and bring him with me.  My head landed on the pillows, my fingers caressing Levi’s muscles, his lips wasting no time in attaching themselves to mine again.  I wrapped my legs around him, bringing him closer to me, feeling his member touch me for the first time.

It was hot, incredibly so.  It was wet, as well.  I could feel pre-come leaking down its length, feel it spreading over my skin as he rubbed it against my ass, letting out deep groans against my lips as he found pleasure in the friction he was causing.  I let out a few moans of my own as he did.  Levi was right; I was all too eager for this.

Then he was pushing into me.  If I thought his fingers felt strange, it was nothing compared to this.  But I tried not to concentrate too hard on the strange feeling, forcing myself to relax, to find solace in the fact that it was Levi that was now connected to me, Levi who had slowed his movements so we were sensually and romantically kissing each other’s worries away.  Everything slowed.  Everything stopped. 

All my noises ran away from me when he started to move.  I started letting out small, sharp sounds of pleasure, started to dig my fingernails even deeper into the skin on his back, started to lean my head to the side so my forehead was pressed into the pillows, feeling Levi’s mouth on my neck and on my shoulders.  I rolled my hips up once, just to test it, and when I felt Levi press against my walls and drag himself out of me, I tightened my grip on him, silently begging him to go faster.

I was so thankful that Levi wasn’t a tease, because I wouldn’t have lasted long if he was.  Or maybe it was just that Levi wanted it fast and hot with me this first time, not daring to slow down, not daring to bother with memorising everything, knowing we’d have plenty of time for that later.  I don’t know why, but I didn’t care, couldn’t bring myself to.  Especially since my back was arched high off the bed, my mouth wide open, letting out a string of high-pitched cries and short, spastic moans. 

I could feel the vibrations of Levi’s throat as he growled onto my neck, as he slammed his hips against me again and again, his member pushing into me fast and hot and needy.  There were a couple of tame thrusts, a couple of times it was just the rolling of his hips and skin slapping against skin that had me keening, but then there were a few times that that same white, hot fire spread up my spine once again, a few times I couldn’t help but grab on for dear life, hoping and praying I would be able to keep my sanity after this.

I let his name fall from lips, let my breath warm his ear as he pressed his lips against my own lobe.  I could hear him growling into my ear, something about happiness, something about ecstasy, something about love.  I couldn’t really make sense of any of it, but had caught enough of it to know what I wanted to say next.

“I love you too,” I gasped, rutting my hips back against him again and again, crying as he assaulted my body, making me feel things I really hadn’t known the human body was capable of feeling. 

Then there was one last flash, one last quick, spurt of pleasure that made my skin flare as he came inside me, my own come covering our stomachs and chests, our breathing synchronized.  Levi’s sweaty forehead was pressed into my shoulder.  I could see his back rising and falling as he came down from his high, my own stomach stretching as I let myself fall back to reality.

“Wow.”  It was all I could manage to gasp out, all I could manage to say on what I had just experienced.  My skin was still tingling, still flared any time Levi’s skin brushed against mine.  I swallowed heavily as he pulled out of me, felt him fall onto the space of mattress beside me, grabbing my arm and pulling me towards him.

I groaned at having to move, but didn’t want to stop touching him, so followed the gesture of his arm, sitting up long enough to place myself on Levi’s pectoral, feeling him shiver as I breathed against his skin, my hand folding over his heart, feeling it beat against my knuckles.

“Damn,” I heard Levi’s voice rumble within his chest as he spoke, smiling at how much deeper it sounded from my position.  “This will definitely be the first night in ages that I won’t wake up with a hard-on.”

I frowned at this, lifting my head so I could turn and look into his eyes, the blue irises shining up at me, a smirk spread across Levi’s thin lips.  It took me a moment, in my sex induced mind, to put it all together, to place the pieces in a sequence I could understand, but when it became clear, I immediately sat up straight, starring, open mouthed, down at Levi.

“Those were wet dreams?” I exclaimed, thinking back on all the times I had to wake Levi up so he would stop groaning in pain, all the times I had held him in my arms as he breathed away his fear, clutching to me and nuzzling his face into my chest.  When I thought back on it, I realised Levi had always made a point to keep his hips away from me, only allowing me to clutch at his shoulders or his hair.

“Don’t worry.  They were all about you.”

I didn’t know whether to feel flattered or mortified at this news, simply gaping at Levi’s smug expression, expecting him to say something more on the matter.  When he didn’t, when I was sure that was all there was to it, I could only pout at him, leaning down to kiss his lips before resuming my previous position, hugging his chest tighter this time.  I could feel my chest swelling, deciding I rather liked the idea of Levi pining for me, though was equally as happy he wouldn’t have to do so anymore.

His fingers were in my hair, massaging my scalp.  My eye lids grew heavy, my breathing grew even, and soon I was drifting off to the sound of Levi’s heartbeat and the feel of his warmth under my body.


	12. Pause

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem, if SAO didn’t have an end itself. As soon as each and every player still left escaped from its virtual prison, the entire endorsement would be shut down, never to be revived again. Maybe Levi loved me, but if he never wanted to leave, did that mean he would stay while this game died, so he could die with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so apparently a lot of you are terrified this fic is ending. 
> 
> Guys, this fic ain't ending. I'm not done with it yet. So calm your fears and enjoy the ride.
> 
> Now, I know all of you were waiting patiently for the last chapter, but I've been waiting patiently for THIS chapter. =v= I have a thing for fluff.

“Levi, please, don’t make me do it again!”

“It’s wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes.  It really was.”

“Just try.”  A pause.  “For me?”

I growled, lifting my hand to rub between my eyes, utterly frustrated with his never ending persistence and his discovery of my absolute weakness.  Levi had been using the ‘for me’ line all night.  When he wanted a glass of water.  When he got cold and needed an extra blanket.  When he wanted to suck me off again.  Well, I didn’t resist too heavily to that last one. 

The two of us had only slept for a few hours.  It was the middle of the night now, the moon still high in the sky, the stars visible from Levi’s bedroom window.  We hadn’t bothered to turn on any lights.  We didn’t need to.  The moonlight streaming in through the glass provided enough light for me to see Levi in full, and I didn’t need to see anything else.

Side by side, encased in each other’s arms, his lips near my ear, grazing my neck when he felt like it, my fingers intertwined with the ones on my stomach, squeezing them when I felt like I missed him a little too much, even though he was right there.  The sheet and blanket lay over us in the most tangled manner I had ever seen, barely covering our hips and not much else, our legs poking out from underneath it, my toes caught in the fabric. 

I felt warm breath touch my shoulder blade before his lips were pressed lightly to the skin.  I could feel his smile, could feel the start of a laugh in his chest.  I growled again, before sighing heavily and opening my mouth.

“Levi, je t'aime tellement fucking beaucoup.”

The room was dowsed in a silence that made me feel sick, my breath no longer leaving me as it should as I waited for his response.  Sure enough, I felt Levi bury his nose into the middle of my back, his breath coming out in quick, short bursts as he attempted to stifle his laugh.  I scowled at the darkness, cursing him and then turning my head so I could bury it into the pillow underneath my head.

“No, wait, I’m sorry!  It really wasn’t that bad!”

He was lying.

“I can’t speak French, Levi!  I told you that!”

He was still laughing, despite his reassurance that my French accent really wasn’t as bad as I was making it out to be. 

“Oh, but it’s so cute when you try,” he told me, his laughter finally ceasing, though I could still feel the curve in his lips that told me he was smiling.  I cursed him again.

“Alright, fine.”  I ripped myself from his arms, heaving myself into an upright position and turning to him fully.  Levi had the widest smile on his face, and even though it made his eyes ten times brighter and his skin seem ten times softer, I wouldn’t back down.  “It’s time for you to learn some German.”

He scoffed openly, his arm going behind his head as he rested upon it, his entire chest shifting as he did.  I tried not to seem as distracted by his muscles as I was.

“No,” was all he said.

“Why not?”

“I don’t do German.”

“I don’t do French!  But I did it for you!”

He was laughing again.  I gave him most withering stare, which only caused him to roll over, clutching his stomach.  There was a loud thud as he fell off the bed, most of the sheet going with him. 

“Fuck!” I heard him growl.

“Serves you right.”

Levi spoke some more choice words in his native tongue before appearing on the mattress again, rubbing the crown of his head and frowning at me.  I poked my tongue out at him, showing him I wouldn’t feel sorry for him. 

“Alright, I give,” Levi reverted back to English, climbing back onto the mattress and assuming his original position, opening his arms for me.  I only scowled at him a moment longer, the smug look on his face telling me he’d force me to try again later, but I sighed anyway, relaxing into his hold and welcoming the kiss he placed on my lips.

The previous few hours hadn’t been spent entirely arguing about our languages; a lot of it had been spent telling each other different things about our lives.  I had told Levi more about my sister, how I was worried the guy she was planning to marry was no good, that I was mad at our dad for forcing her into it.  I told him I was bullied at school because of my gaming addiction.  I told him about my mum, about how dad had changed so much since her death.  I had told him my dreams for the future, that if I ever got out of Sword Art Online, I wanted to join the military and serve my country.

And Levi, without any prodding or asking, had finally opened up to me.  I don’t know what event had triggered his sudden trusting nature; whether it had been the ordeal on top of the West Mountain, or me discovering my feelings for him.  Maybe it was the sex, maybe he felt that if he could entrust himself to me in such a vulnerable, physical state, emotional wouldn’t be so bad either.  I didn’t try to press why, because it wasn’t important.  Levi could tell me whatever he was ready too, and I was eager to listen.

It was because of this, that I had finally learnt Levi lived in the south of France.  He lived in a high-rise apartment with a huge view of the city and an assistant to help him with his day to day tasks.  He had gone out of his way to stress that his assistant was a girl and I didn’t need to feel threatened by her.  I hadn’t been, but was happy he had taken my thoughts into consideration enough to say so anyway. 

I also learned Levi was actually older than me…by fifteen years.  It had taken me a few minutes to comprehend that Levi was in his thirties, and not in his early twenties like I had originally guessed.  After that, I had let myself have a silent freak-out that I wasn’t dating a university student, but a full-fledged adult, who probably had a nine to five job, a mortgage to pay and might even think about marriage every now and again. 

Levi had asked me earnestly if I was upset with him for keeping this from me, and it had only taken me a moment of looking at his deep, blue eyes filled to the brim with worry for me to know that I really didn’t care.  I had known Levi too long to let such a thing as age come between us, and if the two of us could handle an ice-breathing dragon together, I’m sure a fifteen year age gap wouldn’t be a problem.

Levi was back to running his fingers through my hair, pressing light kisses to my lips and my jaw line, while I hummed in appreciation, liking the attention and the warmth most of all.

“I can’t believe out of all the places on earth the players of SAO have come from, the both of us live practically next door to each other,” I mused as Levi started searching for a bare patch of skin to leave another love bite on.

“We live an entire country apart.  How is that right next door?” he asked seriously, his forehead now pressed to mine as we spoke.

“It’s better than being half of the world away,” I spoke honestly, winding my arms around his chest and pulling myself into him, nuzzling his collarbone with my nose and breathing in his scent.  Coffee.  I don’t know how, but Levi smells strongly of it.  The rich, warm aroma fills my senses when I get close to him, and it makes me feel giddy and excited to be around him.

“I guess Germany is a lot easier to fly to than some random country like Japan,” I heard him comment, his arms squeezing my entire body tightly.  I smiled against him, that giddy feeling growing in the pit of my stomach, revelling in the thought of seeing Levi in the real world, showing him my home town, the snow, the festivals, introducing him to my sister, watching my dad’s face as he realised I was dating someone so much older than me, and a man too. 

I lifted my head so I was looking Levi in the eye, so I was watching his blue irises flicker with excitement and his lips stretch back into that broad grin I was getting more and more used to seeing.

“Tell me you’ll come find me,” I found myself saying.  “I know you hate the real world, but you’ll have to go back one day, and when you do, tell me you’ll come find me.  So I can show you my life, can let you see my favourite café, so I can watch my favourite movies with you, so we can take a train to the beach together.”

To be honest, the entire conversation was making me feel homesick.  I tried to shake the feeling, tried to concentrate on Levi and how it would feel to share all of it with him.  It might take another year or so, the last twenty-six floors still had to be cleared before anyone could log out, but I was determined to share my life with Levi, every aspect of it, no matter how small.

So the silence that surrounded us made me feel a different kind of sick all over again.  I watched Levi’s face turn serious, watched his eyes falter and his smile wilt, his hands slackening from their hold around me.  I couldn’t help the feeling that possessed me, couldn’t help but feel my eyes widen and my jaw drop as I realised how much of a fool I had been to think I could change Levi’s feelings toward the outside world.

I didn’t want to start crying, not in front of him, but it was difficult, when the only person I had ever loved didn’t want to love me beyond a virtual entity.  So love really did have an end.  It started and ended with Sword Art Online. 

Maybe this wouldn’t have been a problem, if SAO didn’t have an end itself.  As soon as each and every player still left escaped from its virtual prison, the entire endorsement would be shut down, never to be revived again.  Maybe Levi loved me, but if he never wanted to leave, did that mean he would stay while this game died, so he could die with it.

“Eren,” I heard his voice start, heard him about to enter into an entire speech about how shit his life had been and that I needed to understand why he never wanted to return.  I pulled away from him, sitting up, turning away so he couldn’t see me wipe away the growing tears.  I still refused to cry in front of him. 

“Right,” I cut him off.  “I get it.  You don’t want to go back.  You don’t want to see that life again.  I get it.  I wouldn’t force you to-“

“Cut the crap!  That’s not what I’m saying!” he interjected angrily.

My head flew around, looking at his dark eyes in the moonlight, his angry features that, though had softened, still reminded me of the expression I had first seen him wear all those weeks ago, way back down on Floor Fifteen.

“Don’t put words in my mouth.  Let me explain.”

I swallowed the thick lump that had grown in my throat, turned back around to him and forced myself to be patient with him.  We all had our own views of this world.  Loving someone didn’t mean sharing that view; it meant understanding it to the point where you didn’t need to share it, so long as you didn’t want to change it.

“I want to see your world, Eren,” I heard him admit.  My stunned expression was back, my head swimming in confusion.  “I want to see your sister, and the rest of your family.  I’ve always wanted to see Germany, and I’ve always wanted to see the beach.  I want to see your favourite café and watch all your favourite movies, even though I’m sure you have shit taste.”

I scowled at him.  “So what’s stopping you?  Is Sword Art Online really that important to you!?”

“No, it’s not.  Not anymore.”

The gasp that left me was the last thing I heard before the room was coated in a thick silence once again, our eyes focused on each other in the darkness, Levi radiating confidence in what he was saying.  He wasn’t lying, even though I knew he never would, not even for my sake.

“You’re a brat,” he began again.  “You’re immature.  You’re also sort of spoiled.  You get too excited over stupid things and you don’t think about the more important matters.”

He must have a point to all of this.  You don’t tell someone you love them than spend the night insulting them.

“But you’re also extremely beautiful.  You’re kind.  You’re stubborn, which can be a good point as much as it is bad.  You’re the most understanding person I’ve ever met.  I can’t count the amount of times I’ve disagreed with you just for the sake of seeing how understanding you could be, only to find your open mind really has no limit.  You-“

He stopped for a moment, hiding his face from me, the back of his hand vigorously rubbing at his eyes.  He had started crying, the small drops of salt water reflecting the moonlight, gleaming on his cheeks as they escaped.

“You never judged me.  Not once.  No matter what I told you about myself.  You’ve made me realise that, if this game, in out of less than ten thousand people, has at least one open-minded, understanding and genuine person such as you, then how many can there be in a world of seven billion?”

I moved myself closer to him, cupping his face, stroking his cheeks, watching as tear after tear poured from those beautiful eyes. 

“You make me want to go back,” he finally confessed.  “You make me want to give the real world another try, and as many tries as it takes before I realise that the real world, the life I’ve made for myself there, is just as special as the life I’ve made for myself here.”

Levi held me close as he buried his nose into my neck, as he let his tears fall in earnest, his shoulders heaving as he gasped out his sobs.  I held him tightly to me, kissed his shoulder and his neck and his cheek, whispering how much I loved him again and again into his ear, all in French.  That made his sobbing stop, a choked laugh escaping from his lips as he moved his face so he could look into my eyes, cupping my face, breathing with me.

I placed a kiss upon his lips, another one upon his cheek, down his throat to the juncture of his neck, than went back along the trail before sighing against his lips again.  The next thing I knew I was crawling into his lap, sitting on his crossed legs, our beating hearts pressed together as I continued to kiss the last of his tears away. 

“So what _is_ stopping you from coming to find me?” I asked quietly, stroking his hair, keeping my face close to his.

He gave me a small smile, before lifting a hand from its place around my waste and tapping his temple, just next to his left eye, right next to the brilliantly coloured orb.

“I want to see all of those things, but I can’t.”

“Why not?” I asked, anger escaping slightly in my tone.

“You can show me your country, let me taste the coffee at your favourite café.  I can still meet your sister and your father.  I can still feel the sand under me if we go to the beach.  I can still find you, I’ll still search for you for the rest of my days; I’ll just need some help knowing where you are.”

I kept staring at him, frowning in confusion.  I didn’t understand what Levi was trying to tell me, didn’t know what he was trying to say about another important aspect of his real life.  Levi just kept looking at me, just kept smiling, tapping his temple one more time.

And then it hit me like a tonne of bricks.  I can show him, let him taste, let him feel, let him hear, let him smell all the things in my life as much as I wanted, but he would never see any of this.  He would shake my sisters hand, would sleep with me in my bed.  He’d search and search but never find me unless I told him where I was.  For a man who had amazing instincts, all of this was blunted tremendously out there because of one key factor.

Levi was blind.

This stumped me, made me continue to gape as Levi blinked at my expression, waiting patiently for me to respond to all I had just realised.  Instinctively, I waved my hand in front of his face, as close to his eyes as I could get without brushing his nose, but his eyelids fluttered and he shied away from the back of my palm, just like I would if he did it to me.

“Don’t do that.  I can see just fine in this world.”

_In this world…in this world…in this world._

Levi had been shunned over and over again for being gay.  He had been disowned by his family for being a drug addict, had been orphaned again and again, sometimes by the same foster family twice over.  Levi had lived on the streets more years of his life than he had lived under a roof.  He had never gone to school, never learnt grammar, or literature, or maths, or physics. 

Learning all of this had helped me understand why he didn’t want to leave Sword Art Online, but hadn’t helped me understand why he didn’t want to overcome all of this if the life he led now was so much better.  He had money, an apartment, food, water, hygiene. 

But it wasn’t all of that that made Levi want to stay.  It was the colours and the shapes.  It was the scenery, and the ability to move as freely as he liked.  It was the ability to live his days without any help if he didn’t want it.  It was the ability to recognise a face by looks alone.  It was the movements he had come to adopt upon getting his sight back. 

“But-“ Of all the questions I had asked Levi tonight, of all the questions I still had, I now had about a thousand more questions piled up on top of the previous ones.  “H-how can you see here if you can’t see there?”

Levi sighed, running his fingers through his hair.

“My theory is, and I don’t know if this is right, is because I was born with my sight.  I lost it when I was twenty, to a man on the street who I wouldn’t put out for because he wouldn’t pay.  I never really lost the ability to see, just the health and well-being of my eyes.  The nerve gear intercepts the part of the brain that controls all the five senses, as well as movement and emotion.  It intercepted my sight just like it would on any normal person, and because my virtual body has eyes that work-“

“- this allowed you to see again.” 

A pause.

“Exactly.”

From that moment on, I was so happy I had taken the time to memorise the colour of Levi’s eyes, because from the sounds of it, as soon as SAO was beat, I’d never see the colour of his eyes again.  That constantly swirling blue that made me feel like I was drowning, his pupil, that I had watched so carefully expand every time he turned to look at me.  

Levi looked almost sad as he told me this, sad that I had finally learnt the truth about why he didn’t want to leave SAO, why he always kept his eyes open while kissing me, why he continued to feel over my face and limbs, memorising the shape of every one of my muscles that made me who I am, so he’d know what I’d feel like later.  I put my fingers gently on his temples, being careful not to press too hard, and urged him to lower his head so I could kiss each one of his eyelids, silently telling him that it didn’t matter, that I still loved him, that I’d help him in any way I could once we were home.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m situs inversus.”

Levi blinked twice at me, telling me he had no idea what I was talking about.  I held up my hand, showing him my palm.

“It means all my organs-“ I then flicked my wrist, now showing him the back of my hand.  “-are reversed.”

“Your insides are looking at a mirror?” he asked me, one eyebrow furrowed.

“Basically.  Kinda sucks if I ever need to get an organ transplant.”

Levi stared at me for a second before the corner of his eyes screwed up and his lips stretched into another smile.  Yeah.  I could definitely get used to seeing that.  I kissed him hard on the mouth, letting my tongue trail inside, mapping out every corner of his mouth, my arms wound tight around his neck, his own arms pulling me close to him by my waist. 

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, me in his lap, his hands warming my body, his breath and coffee scented skin filling my nose.  Though this time, I made sure to keep my eyes open too.  It was slightly awkward, and almost funny, watching Levi watch me while we made out, but I managed to stifle my giggles, though couldn’t help but smile wildly while we kissed each other’s worries away.

\---

The rest of the night passed in relative calm.  Though I did try my hand at being on top, letting Levi relax while I sank down on him, rocking my hips, getting the feel of having him so much deeper inside me, crying out his name as I managed to create a fantastic rhythm.  As I did, he told me I was perfect, stroked my thighs and kissed my chest, rolled us over and took over when I grew too tired to finish us both off. 

We both slept late into the morning, exhausted from our amorous activities, not needing to be anywhere else, just thankful for the rising sun that dawned on a new day, marking the first of when we were officially together as a couple.  Waking up beside Levi was something I felt I was going to get used to very quickly; the sunlight streaming in over his pale skin, his peaceful expression as he slept.  I hoped I woke up before him every morning so I could see him as calm as he is when he sleeps.

True to his word, Levi slept right through the night without any interruptions for the first time since we had started sharing our nights together.  I was relieved, though not as much as I would be if I still believed they had been nightmares he was suffering from, and not an unrequited love he couldn’t shake.

When Levi finally awoke, it was a matter of forcing ourselves to get out of bed and keeping our self-control long enough to let the other one dress.  The first time I had attempted to crawl out of bed, Levi had taken one look at my ass before grabbing my hips and throwing me back down onto the mattress.  As soon as the sheets fell away and I saw Levi completely naked with full lighting for the first time, I let my mouth go down on him faster than a whore, sucking him as dry as I could, the roots of my hair aching after he finally came into my mouth.

Eventually I convinced Levi to close his eyes while I got dressed, and extended the same courtesy to him; though it wasn’t easy to keep our self-control once our clothes were on either.  We made more of a mess during breakfast than I thought was humanly possible while simply making pancakes.  Levi was a pretty good chef.  The pancakes were light and fluffy and Levi made them extra sweet so they were extra delicious, especially because I ate my share off Levi’s lips.

Eventually, just to force us to keep our clothes on and our hands to ourselves, Levi suggested we go for a walk and pick up our reward from Berthold and Reiner, who messaged us after having heard we got back from the mountain safely.  I don’t blame them for doing it so informally; from the look on Levi’s face while we listened to the recording, he wanted to smash the small diamond that was speaking to us, hoping it would somehow inflict some pain on the two shop owners.

They told us we could pick up our earnings at the post office, which is where Levi and I were headed now.  I was eager to see more of Levi’s home town.  The blue of the floor had grown paler in the sunlight, but still accentuated Levi’s eyes and the dark of his hair perfectly.  Our fingers were hooked together as we made our way to the post office, Levi keeping a hard hold on my palm, sometimes reaching up to rub a small circle into the right side of my back, where my heart would be if we were strolling together in the real world.

Of course, virtual reality or not, I knew my feelings for Levi were real enough to make me happier then I had ever been before.

Bells chimed, doves flew and there was a swirl of flower petals.  I turned to see a church off in the distance.  It was painted white with vines of blue roses growing along its walls.  The silver bell that sat in the tower gleamed as it rang, the wide, oak doors springing open to reveal a pretty girl dressed in white leap down the stairs, her new husband in tow.  Levi and I watched as she draped her arms around him, merrily jumping on her toes, the man trying to calm her down long enough to get in a decent kiss.

I chuckled at the sight, waving when the couple spotted us.  They both waved back, giving us wide smiles.

“Marriage is a fickle thing,” I heard Levi say beside me, looking at the couple with a soft expression, his lips set in a small smile.

“You don’t sound like you’re against it?” I wondered.  The wind felt nice on my face.  It made the bride’s dress lift up a bit, both the bride and groom fretting over getting it back down over her knees, laughing the whole time.

“I didn’t say I was against it, I just said it was fickle.  Unpredictable.”  A pause.  “Exciting.”

I chuckled again, surprised that Levi of all people really was looking forward to marrying someone special.  I would be lying if I didn’t, at that moment, imagine that special person to be me.

“Is marriage in SAO any different to marriage in the real world?” I asked him, watching the happy couple climb into a carriage pulled by a winged horse, ready to be pulled off to their happily ever after.

“Not really,” Levi answered, a lilt in his voice as he watched the couple disappear as well.  “You’re inventory and col is shared, so you can’t hide anything you own.  But other than that, I think it pretty much works the same. “

I nodded, walking closer toward the church, stopping in the garden and bending down to smell the blue roses that grew in the shrubs. 

“I think marriage is the one thing I’m glad SAO shares with the real world.  Dedicating your entire being to protecting and loving just one person.  Willingly being prepared to wake up every day with them, to share everything you are and everything you were.  Shaping yourself so you grow and change with them, accepting their beliefs, their way of life.” I felt him approach me from behind, his fingers brushing the tip of my ear as I felt him tuck my bangs behind it.  “And if you’re lucky enough, they’ll do the same for you.” 

I turned to look at him, smiling brightly.

“What are you?  A poet?” I scoffed at him.  “That was pretty beautiful.”

I watched his face, his eyes, his mouth, his cheeks.  His expression was so soft, so caring, as he continued to eye me with more love than I could possibly handle.

“Eren, there’s another box a need to tick, another line I need to cross, something else we need to finish.”

My eyes widened, my whole body went numb.

“Eren,” a pause.  “Marry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Don't forget to send Eren and Levi all your thoughts, comments and questions!](http://agility-hunter-blinding-speed.tumblr.com)


	13. Your Faith In Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldn’t believe I had entered this game thinking, deep in the back of my mind, that it would just be another few years of my life wasted, dedicating myself to climbing higher and higher up the floors, constantly striving to be the best person I could be, despite that person being entirely make-believe. I couldn’t believe I had managed to cross that road at exactly the right time, having saved Levi’s life and effectively scoring a brilliant mentor in the process. I couldn’t believe Levi had taught me so much about myself; virtual body or not, this mind was still mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Q wQ I had a lot of fun writing this chapter. I felt like I needed some domestic ereri in this fic before starting all the action sequences again.
> 
> Hope you guys like it q wq

It was so quiet where I was.  But when I say quiet, I mean it’s that kind of quiet where the world is void of noise except for those peaceful sounds you don’t get to appreciate when it isn’t this quiet.  I mean the sound of leaves brushing together in the breeze, the curtains ruffling as that breeze entered through the balcony door.  The sound of birds singing to each other, calling their loved ones home, ready to reunite from what might have been a long separation.  The sound of the water against the shore, creating that sound of the ocean swilling back and forth that we all know and love.

The sun made no noise at all, but it was doing a good job of warming my toes, my arms, my cheeks.  It was bright as well, causing my eyes to flutter open, my eyelashes grazing the skin of the body underneath me, the owner of the body stirring as I did.  I smiled to myself as I felt a hand curve up to rub at my bare shoulders, to tangle itself in my hair and massage my scalp, just like I liked.  I hummed as I felt lips on my forehead, pressed to my skin, causing my bangs to flick into my eyes.

I blinked the strands away, tilting my head to better access the lips that I was now yearning for, the moist feeling as they connected causing me to shiver, which caused the arms to wind tighter around me.  We made no noise as we stayed like that, wrapped together in our own, peaceful world, full of nothing but that wonderful sound of the lake just beyond the window and the feeling of each other’s warmth being burned onto our skin.

As Levi held me tightly to him, his hands moving up and down my back, soothing on my skin, I could plainly feel the cool metal of his ring being rubbed against my back also.  Even as the metal warmed, it started to burn hotter than his hands, reminding me over and over again just how tightly we had now intertwined ourselves into each other’s lives.

I raised one of my own hands, brushing Levi’s jaw with my knuckles, my fourth finger not touching his skin as the others did, a metal band of my own causing this to happen.  He pulled his lips away from mine, his eyes opened slowly, the vast, bottomless blue of his irises growing brighter and brighter as he stared at my face.

“Good morning, Wife,” came his words, his voice laced with amusement as my eyebrows furrowed together, giving him my most withering stare, trying not to let the smile on my face deter how mad I was supposed to be at the garb.

“Fuck you, Wife,” I retorted, ripping myself from his limbs and rolling over to my side, my back to him and my face buried into the mattress, my pillow having been transported to the other side of the bed at one point during the night.

I heard Levi’s laugh, could practically feel the vibrations deep in his chest as he rolled over to spoon me, kissing my shoulder in apology.

“No, fuck off.  I’m mad at you.”  But my throat was thick with joy, my voice strained through it, coming out lighter and far happier than I had intended.

“I’m sorry,” he pleaded against my shoulder blade.

“No, you are not.”

“I won’t say it again.”

“You most certainly will.”

“I can’t help that you’re such housewife material.”

“No, you’re right, this is all my fault.  I should’ve mentioned it in my vow.  ‘I promise to love you every day, so long as we both shall live, and so long as you understand that we are both equal in this marriage and neither of us is ‘the wife’.”

Levi’s laughter was almost loud enough to drown out the sound of the waves crashing against the rocks outside, but not quite.  He had rolled away from me, clutching his stomach as he laughed at the make-shift part of my vow that I hadn’t spoken yesterday evening.  I couldn’t believe what I had gotten myself into.

_I couldn’t believe what I had gotten myself into…_

I couldn’t believe I had entered this game thinking, deep in the back of my mind, that it would just be another few years of my life wasted, dedicating myself to climbing higher and higher up the floors, constantly striving to be the best person I could be, despite that person being entirely make-believe.  I couldn’t believe I had managed to cross that road at exactly the right time, having saved Levi’s life and effectively scoring a brilliant mentor in the process.  I couldn’t believe Levi had taught me so much about myself; virtual body or not, this mind was still mine.

I couldn’t believe how fast his devotion to me had grown over the course of the year, couldn’t believe how strong my own devotion to him had grown.  I couldn’t believe Levi had never hesitated to comfort me in a way that was entirely him, had never hesitated to jump in where all the danger was, simply so I wouldn’t face it head on myself.  I couldn’t believe how long it had taken me to realise how infatuated I was with Levi, and in turn, how much I wanted to be his, just as he wanted to be mine.

I couldn’t believe that all of this was really happening.  That none of this started or ended with SAO, that it was all real, that it extended beyond this virtual world and far beyond our virtual bodies. 

I turned over to see Levi had sat up and was now playing with his bangs, attempting to get them to sit straight on his forehead, his skin glowing in the morning sun and his muscles flexing every time he shifted or breathed or even blinked. 

I couldn’t believe that Levi was all mine.

“Staring is rude, Jaeger,” his deep voice cut through my thoughts, his fingers finally straightening the last of his longer stands before turning his face to me.  He was leaning against his knee, tilting his head and smiling down at me.

“Speak for yourself, Jaeger!” I spat out, smiling as the familiar name left my lips, not even sorry it was no longer just mine.

Then his lips were on mine again, his arms wound tightly around my chest, bringing me infinitely closer to him.  I eagerly put all my energy into kissing him back, cupping his face and squirming under his touch, knowing he liked it when I was jumpy, unable to sit still as he continued to feel me up.

I don’t know how long it took before the both of us finally managed to crawl out of bed, once again having trouble taking our eyes off our naked selves.  I had fun arching my back so almost my entire torso was held up by neck, pretending to stretch as I lifted my arms above my head, watching Levi scowl at my stomach.  I saw the yearning in his eyes, knew that he wanted nothing more than to simply fall back into the sheets and attack my stomach with sucks and bites like he normally did.

But he managed to get me back, leaving the bathroom door open as he showered, the water streaming down his taught muscles, his stomach muscles shifting under smooth and pale skin, his face relaxed as he stood under the jet of water, letting my walking wet dream (ha-ha) come to life. 

I exacted my revenge by pulling all the sheets off the bed and leaving them on the floor.  I was in the kitchen, wearing nothing but one of Levi’s loose, pyjama shirts (a shirt on me, a dress on him), when I heard his cussing and swearing at how we’d have to buy new sheets in town today as apparently five minutes on the floor warranted the other ones ruined for life.

Levi made sure to take out his anger in a healthy way (giving me a heart attack in the process) by throwing his entire body onto me, slamming me to the floor and ripping his shirt from my body, running back into the bedroom with it and slamming the door shut, locking me out so I was now naked in the living room.

It was twenty minutes before I coaxed him out with the smell of bacon, eggs and pancakes.  Levi’s eyes widened at the sight of me in a frilly, floral apron I had found hanging by the stove, my bare thighs and ass cheeks on display as I moved about the kitchen, continuing to cook as if he wasn’t there at all.

After Levi had bent me over the dining room table, making me call his name loudly and repeatedly, both of us agreed to call a truce, dressing in normal clothes again and heating up the breakfast I had made in the oven, eating at the clean end of the table and being careful not to say anything that would spark another ‘who’s hornier’ contest.

We were in the kitchen, Levi drying and putting the dishes away as I washed them in the sink, when Levi asked what I wanted to do for the day.  It was a hard question to answer, as we now had nothing but time on our hands.

Having completed our quest, neither of us were in a rush to climb higher up Aincrad any time soon.  Levi, having officially taken a leave of absence from his guild, explaining that he wanted to spend quality time with his new husband, was freer from the pressures of being a front-liner than ever before.  Though before we left for Floor Twenty-Two, I did see his message notifications flash a few too many times, though he hadn’t bothered to open any of them yet.

After having emptied both our bank accounts, and scouting the various vacation houses available on this floor, we settled on a small cabin, isolated by thousands of pine trees though still close to a small fishing village.  It sat just over the lake’s edge, the only thing keeping our curtains dry was the rock wall built between the lake and us.  From the bedroom’s balcony, you could see the vast blue of the lake stretch farther than the horizon, its banks littered with glorious green trees, boats carrying fishes and ferries carrying passengers passing over its surface every hour or so.

From the front porch, we could see the path leading down to the forest.  The boardwalk winding through the trunks would take you to the village if you went left, or would take you further down into the floor if you turned right.  Both Levi and I planned to go exploring later on during our stay, for now, we were content to simply watch the life of SAO pass us by.

“Why don’t we watch a movie?” I suggested, handing the last of the clean dishes to Levi and pulling the plug from the sink.

“We don’t have movies in Aincrad,” Levi said, standing on his toes to place the glass on the top shelf of the cabinet.  We really should move those.

“We could watch _Blind_.”

Levi’s withering stare was far better than mine ever would be.

“That’s not funny,” his deep voice had dropped an octave, even lower than it usually was.

“I hear _See no Evil, Hear no Evil_ was hilarious.  Sort of dated though.”

“You’re hilarious.”

“Have you ever heard of _The Blind Flyers_?  It’ll just warm your heart.”

“Hardy har har.  Are you done?”

“No, I’m still mad at you for stealing my last pancake.”

After Levi had finished wrestling me to the floor, where he proceeded to slobber all over my face, and not in an enjoyable way at all, I suggested (seriously this time) that we test out the water of the lake.  The cold season was fast disappearing, and the days were getting warmer.  It was still slightly too cold to go swimming, but I was eager to see how deep that lake went.

The two of us grabbed a pair of shorts each, sweaters just in case and an abundance of towels before heading out.  I noticed Levi had stuffed his own bag with a few books, but thought nothing of it as I flew down the porch steps and towards the muddy bank of the lake.  I didn’t hesitate to dive right into the water, going as deep as I could until my ears started to hurt and the cold water burnt my skin more than it should.  I couldn’t see the bottom, only darkness.

I broke the surface of the water, gasping for breath, looking back over to the shore to realise Levi had set up the towels, a book propped open on his knees, his hair pinned by his ears so the breeze wouldn’t be a bother to him.  I swam closer, smiling evilly as I splashed some of the water onto his feet.

He peeked over the edge of his book, glaring at me with a playful smirk on his lips, shaking his head and then turning back to his book.  I poked my tongue out at him, tasting the fresh water on my lips and the chill it gave me.  The water wasn’t so bad so long as I kept moving, the coldness taking over if I stood still for too long.  I made sure to keep my shoulders underneath the surface as well, the breeze making going above it very unwelcoming.

“Levi, come swimming with me!” I called to him, wanting to warm myself on his chest and put my cold fingers down his shorts.

I noticed his eyes darken before he shook his head. 

“I’ll pass!” he called back.  I scowled at him, risking the breeze on the water’s edge to stand up, moving over to the shallows and watched the fish swim around my ankles. 

Fishers from the village used to use this part of the lake all the time, until we bought the land and they had to move up the bank slightly until they were off our property.  I could see them in the distance, their poles in their hands, buckets of lake water sitting beside them, packets of bait stuffed in their pockets.  A few had turned to watch me.  I waved at them, happy to see they weren’t too mad at the relocation as they waved back.

“We should go fishing tomorrow, Levi,” I claimed, turning to watch him turn a page before catching a stray wisp of black hair and placing it back in the clip beside his ear.

“That’s not a bad idea,” he lifted his face from his book, looking over at the fishermen and noting where I had gotten the idea.  “If we learn to fish, it means we’ll save a bundle on meat.  Though the prices at the village aren’t all that bad.”

“I heard they were giving us discounts because they know we’re newlyweds,” I commented, remembering the lady I had been buying our snapper from had noticed my wedding band and flushed face, telling me she recognised the face of someone in love almost as easily as she recognised a perfect barramundi.

“Well once that ‘newlywed’ title dies out, we’ll need to start saving where we can.  Our vacation house didn’t come cheap.”

I couldn’t help but smile as we talked, now having to get used to the fact that these kinds of conversations would become the norm for us.  Though I had been too young to remember too much about what my own parent’s marriage had been like, I could still remember that they talked a lot.  It was always about mundane things, because they weren’t excited about the subject nor did they look dejected as they spoke to each other.  I could remember their talking always lulled me to sleep, and I could remember it being one of the things I missed the most once mum was gone.  The house was always too quiet after her death.

But it excited me to think that those subjects I had always considered dull and boring would now be a necessity for me to discuss with my husband, that no matter what happened to either of us, we’d never run out of things to talk about.  It was more than just the regular, every day subjects that had me thinking as well. 

I now had someone who I could talk to about literally anything and everything I wanted.  Not just because Levi was my husband, but because he was also my best friend.  We shared a connection that meant I couldn’t not tell him things; we shared experiences that made it impossible for me to keep secrets from him.

It was true, marriage still scared me a little, but the kinds of comforts I was beginning to discover abated my fears more and more with each passing hour.

“Are you coming in?” I inquired to him, watching his eyebrows furrow at the question.

“I don’t feel like it.”  And I might have believed him, if it weren’t for the absolute lack of resolution I heard in his voice.  He had mumbled it, blurred the words together so I could barely make them out.  If he wasn’t going to swim with me, he wasn’t doing it because he didn’t ‘feel like it’.

“I promise I won’t dunk you if you’re scared about messing up your perfect hair,” I chided, chuckling as I said it.

He let out a deep sigh, slamming his book shut and turning his face from me.  He mumbled something under his breath, or at least, I think he did.  His lips moved though I couldn’t hear what had come from them.

“What did you say?” I asked, pulling my feet out of the mud that had gathered around my ankles, walking up the bank to crouch in front of him, noticing how sad his eyes were now.  I waited patiently as Levi gathered the courage to say to me what he wanted to, the admission he was afraid to reveal seeming to become more terrifying the longer he waited.

“I can’t swim,” he finally managed to whisper, saying it quickly and indefinitely, turning his head away from me again to hide his shame.

It then occurred to me that Levi may never have had the opportunity to learn how to swim before losing his sight.  I’m sure ‘learning to swim’ had been low on his list of priorities, trying to find shelter every night and evading the police at the same time deeming themselves much more important.   I knew for a fact plenty of blind people could easily learn to swim, but as Levi had never had an immediate need for it, he had probably never brought it up with anyone else, so left it to be a life experience he would never indulge in.

I gripped Levi’s knees with my fingers, pushing them aside so I could crawl in between them and lean my head against his shoulders, pressing myself to him and kissing his neck, my fingers playing with the strands on the back of his head.

“Now is as good as any time to learn.”

It took some coaxing, but eventually Levi agreed to let me teach him at least how to tread water so he could stay afloat in case of an emergency.  He kept telling me he didn’t know what emergency would happen in the near future that would deem the ability to tread water a useful one, and I had to counter back that he hadn’t known I was going to die but wasn’t he glad he was well-prepared for that?

Of course, Levi only agreed on the condition we stayed where he would be able to stand up and only if I carried him into the water.  I didn’t mind either one, not having planned to go past where you could see the bottom anyway.  Like I said, that lake was deep, and if Levi saw how deep it was, it wouldn’t do any good for his fear of water. 

“I’m not _afraid_ of water,” Levi was now telling me, his arms looped tightly around my shoulders as I supported his knees and back.  “I just have no wish to be a part of its silly games.”

“Games, Levi?  It’s water.  It moves depending on the weather and the gravitational pull of the moon.”

“I thought you said you had failed science.”

“That’s not science!  That’s general knowledge.”

“Let’s go back to the western mountain and take on that dragon again!  Wasn’t that fun?”

“Levi!  Calm down!  Swimming isn’t scary.  Look, you’re already deep enough in water to float.”

Sure enough, the water was now up to my waist, barely grazing Levi’s ass, his expression not improving in the slightest as I began to crouch, lowering us both in, Levi hissing in my ear as his skin touched the cold.

“Fuck!  It’s cold!” he exclaimed, gripping my shoulders tighter, refusing to let go, even when I moved my hands to place them on his hips, coaxing him to go lower into the water.

“It’s not so bad once you get used to it,” I told him, trying to urge him to loosen his hold around my neck, but to show he meant business about keeping his death grip on me, he sunk his teeth into my shoulder.  I yelped as he did, smacking him on his back with a wet hand.

“You realise that’s what mother’s tell their children so they put up with the pain of growing up?” he mumbled against the bite mark.

“I’m not your mother, Levi, I’m your husband.  You can trust me.”  I held Levi closely, gently spooning water over his skin so he’d get used to it faster, the breeze causing goosebumps to rise over his skin.  “I wouldn’t let anything happen to you.”

I felt Levi relax, only slightly, against me.  Felt his breath on my shoulder as he finally loosened his hold enough so he could float gently in the water on his stomach.  I kept a firm hold on his forearms, starting to walk backwards, pulling him along.

“Now start kicking your feet,” I ordered, watching his feet start to splash the water out behind him.  I lowered him further into the waves, trying to get him to stop relying on my hold so much so he would get used to having his body in the water.  He eventually got the message, trying his best to keep his head above the surface as well as his body straight enough so he could float while I walked around in circles, guiding him along.

“Hey, you’re a natural!” I praised, elated to see Levi’s expression soften as we continued, to see he was discovering it wasn’t as hard as he had made it seem in his head. 

“You sound like some God-awful swimming teacher that says shit like that to all their students.”  I took it as a compliment.

“That’s because I am a swimming teacher.  I sign up for the swim team every summer and teach the little kids in my spare time to earn some extra cash.  If SAO hadn’t turned into a death-game, I would’ve volunteered at the beach as a life guard.  I was finally old enough.” 

Talking about home always caused my heart to ache a little, caused my eyes to sting and my throat to go thick with tears.  But on the other hand, I still liked telling Levi about my life, about what he had to look forward too once we returned home.  It still excited me to watch his expressions each time I told him something new about me.  I only hoped he now felt the same when he revealed events about his past.

As it were, Levi was back to scowling at me, his eyes had darkened all over again.  I gave him a confused look, asking him silently what I had done this time.

“I can’t believe you never told me I’m dating a swimmer.  Swimmers have the best bodies.  I hate you.”

I laughed, the sound genuine and light, leaving my chest and softening the air around us.

“So you married me for my body?” I asked, slowing my pace, crouching down in the water and letting Levi kick his way closer to me, my arms circling his waist again, pulling him close.

“Yes.  That’s right.  So don’t you dare get fat or I’ll have to leave you and take everything you own with me.”

I laughed again, tightening my hold around his thin waist and kissing him on the cheek, not deterred at all about the new pressure I was now put under.  He smiled too, kissing me on the lips, holding my head to his, forcing me to participate.  I couldn’t help but giggle slightly as we kissed in the water, raking my wet fingers through his hair, finally calming down enough to put my own effort into the kiss, moving my mouth against his and humming as our tongues danced in our mouths.

Pretty soon, having gotten used to it or not, the water started to turn both of us blue, so we ventured out and wrapped ourselves in sweaters and extra towels, heading home with the promise of a burning fire and hot tea.  Our fingers never left the presence of each other’s as we made our way back.  A light feeling in my heart made me jump slightly whenever Levi squeezed my fingers.

After having returned to our house and then having changed into warmer clothes, I went outside to get some firewood while Levi started the tea, though not before hearing him claim that if I started chopping firewood, I better come back inside to get him or he would start suing my family as well.  I chuckled as I headed around to the back of the house, yelling back to Levi that the firewood was already cut and his chance to perve on me while I worked had been taken away from him.

I came back inside, logs under my arm when I realised Levi wasn’t in the kitchen, but standing at the front door talking to someone.  I dumped the logs next to the fireplace before going to join him, staring up at a scruffy faced man who wore a long jacket, a horde of people wearing the same uniform standing behind him.  They all wore the same emblem on their coats; the head of a unicorn painted green.

The Military Police.

I gaped at the players, wondering why the highest ranked guild in Aincrad was now on our doorstep.

“Eren Jaeger, is it?” the man in front of Levi asked, having noticed me coming up behind him.

At that moment I got the feeling I really didn’t want to be ‘Eren Jaeger’.

“It doesn’t matter who he is.  Your trip has been in vain.  Go home!” Levi demanded, going to slam the door in the man’s face.  There was a softened thud as the man stopped the door with his forearm, the limb jammed between the door and the wall.  I saw Levi scowl as he was forced to re-open the door.  I didn’t know who this man was or what he and his supposed guild wanted with me, but if Levi didn’t trust him, than neither did I.

“Don’t test me, Levi,” the man demanded.  I glared harder, not happy with how he seemed to be addressing my husband.

“Get out of my home, Nile!” Levi quipped back, in one of his ‘not-going-to-take-any-of-your-shit’ moods.

“Eren Jaeger,” Nile lifted his head, no longer bothering to deal with Levi, speaking straight to me now.  “We’ve had reports of your rare skills and high-level instincts that have made us rather interested in you.  We’d like to extend a formal invitation to you.  It is in all our best interests that you come with me and join our ranks.”

I scoffed.  Some invitation.

“I’m not doing anywhere with you,” I stated firmly.  Levi was still between Nile and me, and I was thankful, because the look Nile was now giving me told me he really hadn’t been expecting me to say ‘no’.

“You’d deny all the people trapped in this game, the right to escape, by keeping your skills to yourself and using them only for your selfish benefit?” Nile glowered.

“Don’t listen to him, Eren,” Levi spoke earnestly, turning to me as he spoke.  “The Military Police are nothing but a bunch of noobs with a bouquet of sticks shoved up their asses.  They don’t have anything to hold to their name but a bunch of high-ranked players who have now gone slack in their care.”

I had heard about that, had heard about all these amazing players joining the apparent powerful guild, only to be told time and time again they shouldn’t risk their lives on the front lines.  They then grew lazy, cocky even, and spent their time smoking and drinking without so much as a swing of their swords.  The Military Police constantly inflated their ego, meaning they never lost the confidence of being a powerful player, but sure as hell lost the genuine skills needed to keep such a reputation.

“Levi!  Our aim is to gather the best of the best players, put them on the front lines and fight our way out of this death-game!  If you do not have the same interest, I am deeply ashamed of you.”

I had no idea who this guy was, or what his history with Levi meant, but all I knew was that he seemed like an arrogant ass who had been given a huge title too early so now he had a huge ego to match it.  I gritted my teeth as I came closer, Levi stepping out of the way as I went up to the man.

“You have no right to be ashamed of my husband, now or at any time.  I bet he’s cleared more floor bosses than your entire guild has combined.  The next time you want to ‘extend an invitation’ to me, don’t do it while threatening the people I care about.”  By the time I had finished, my voice was low and eerily calm, my anger showing completely in my eyes, sending wave after wave of pure fury to this man and his cronies.

Nile only gave me a sour look, trying to keep what little semblance of pride remained by holding himself high, but to me, he looked like a mouse caught by a lion, that look in his eye telling me he knew he had already lost.  I could feel Levi smirking at him from behind me, felt him wrap his arms around me and kiss my shoulder, poking his tongue out at Nile.

“If Eren joins any guild at all, he’ll be joining the Scouting Legion alongside me.  You’ll be hearing from my commander too.  I’ll bet he’s going to give you an earful for having the balls to come here and harass me and my husband, when you obviously know I’m off duty.”  Despite the confidence Levi radiated, I could hear the amusement in his voice, not used to seeing such a well-known and high-ranked guild being shot down in the course of a few minutes. 

Nile glared at me one last time before turning away from us, ordering his men to retreat as they lugged themselves back along the path and away from our home.  I slammed the door behind him, happy to finally have some peace.  Levi was still holding me, his shoulders shaking as he laughed in my shirt, the sound echoing around our living room.

“That was great!  I hope that stubbornness of his kicks in and he comes crawling back, just so we can kick him down again.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve had so much fun with Nile around.”

Levi continued to shake as he held me, my hands cupping his own where they rested on my stomach, the room slowly going silent as Levi realised I wasn’t as thrilled with the sudden turn of events as he was.  I turned to see him looking at me quizzically, a frown on his face.  I swallowed, choosing my words carefully as I turned in his arms, gripping his hands in mine.

“Did you really mean that?” I asked carefully, not wanting the good mood around us spoiled because of my disappointment.

“Yes, I did,” Levi told me, his voice filled with confusion.  “Nile deems himself all high and mighty, but he’s a snake in the grass and a dictionary on the path.  Listening to him talk is like listening to nothing but static on a radio.”

I smiled lightly, before trying again.

“No, I mean, did you mean that I can join the Scouting Legion?”

Levi’s face went serious as he realised what I had meant.

Despite all that had gone on around us, all the drama, trauma, excitement, near-death experiences and life-rewarding ones, despite meeting several of the other members and feeling that none of them were any different from each other, I still had that dream of joining the legion and being on the front lines, helping the top players take down bosses, clearing SAO as part of the cream of the crop.  My dream had only strengthened as I had become stronger, now imagining Levi by my side, wings emblazoned on both of our backs.

“Yes, I did,” I heard Levi respond, his voice soft and light, a hand leaving mine to reach up and cup my face, a smile on his lips as he spoke.  “I’ve told you before, and your rare and powerful skill hasn’t changed my resolve; I will always protect you.  I’ll have to return to the legion at one point or another, and it’s going to be infinitely easier to keep you safe if you remain with me just as you have.  Besides, a powerful player like you needs to join a powerful guild.  We could use someone like you on the front lines.”

I couldn’t help the smile that took over my features, couldn’t help but urge myself closer to his body, resting my forehead on his shoulder as we wrapped our arms around each other, his fingers in my hair and my own on his back, tracing soothing patterns into the fabric of his shirt.

It had been ages ago, far back during the first few hours of knowing Levi, but I was remembering it so clearly now.  When I had first told Levi my dream of joining the Scouting Legion, his eyes had flickered in mocking amusement.  I don’t know whether he had believed I could never achieve that dream, whether he was only mocking me as I told it to him or, maybe, he had some deep faith in me even back then.

Either way, I was happy to hear from him personally how much faith he had in me now, even though I had never really doubted his words from the beginning.

Dinner was simple, because simple was all I knew, though Levi kept telling me it was delicious either way.  I told him he was just sucking up to me.  He admitted that was true.  The next thing I know, the both of us were naked on the floor, the fire warming our skin as he made me his again and again on the living room rug. 

I held him tight to me while he was inside me, kissing his sweaty shoulder and burying my forehead into the crook of his neck while he showed me again how much he loved me, how much he adored me.  I listened to the smoothness of his voice and felt the rumble in his chest as he whispered in my ear how he could no longer live without me.

I told him the same.  Told him it was more than a strengthening bond between us that kept me here, that it was his very existence that made me crave his presence all day, that made me twitch and scratch when he wasn’t around, made me laugh and smile when he was. 

We fell asleep on the rug, in front of the fireplace, a blanket draped over us, his head cushioned on the right side of my chest, our hands gripped together and our legs tangled in a crazy knot of limbs and toes.  It was so easy to fall asleep with Levi in my arms, so easy to forget anything bad that might be going on around us.  It was easy to forget that this was a game, that none of it was real, that it was all in my head.

Though my love for Levi and the feelings that made my chest swell as I drifted off to sleep to the sounds of Levi’s even breathing, that was all real, no one would convince me otherwise, and I’d rather die than have the person in my arms be anyone but Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Don't forget to send Eren and Levi all your thoughts, comments and questions!](http://agility-hunter-blinding-speed.tumblr.com)


	14. Ice Between My Fingers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had made me sick to my stomach at first, and the thought of seeing Petra again hadn’t made me feel any better about the whole ordeal, but upon first entering her shop, she had been nothing but pleasant, if not a little guarded. I was starting to pick up on her true relationship with Levi, how much he meant to her, and it took me a moment to remember that Levi had others who cared about him just like I had a sister and friends who cared about me. It had just been him and I for so long, it was hard to remember there were other people around us that affected our lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want this chapter but it kinda had to be done so here have it and dont look back
> 
> So on a side note: I start uni in 3 weeks :D. As I've never been to uni before I don't know what my work load is going to be like and so will just say now that updates for SAO will probably be slowing down. Soz. I'm hoping to get it finished sometime in my first weeks of uni before the workload hits me so hopefully it won't be too much of a problem.
> 
> But I honestly enjoy writing this fic and receiving all your comments so I hope I can find the time to writ ea little of each chapter when I can. 
> 
> Other than that...enjoy?

The point of the spear gleamed threateningly in front of me, the light catching the tip in a way that made it seem sharper than the rest of the curved blade mounted on the handle.  It was a pale colour, the cool shade of amber reminding me of hot coals, making me sweat as I watched its tip come closer and closer to me. 

“Levi, for the love of God, stop playing with that!  You’re going to hurt someone!” the high-pitched voice sounded from somewhere beside me, and I blinked, letting out a sigh of relief as the spear left the vicinity of my face.  “Don’t get me wrong, marriage is painful, but why do you feel the need to point a fishing spear at your husband?”

“If I don’t constantly remind him who’s boss he’s going to think he can start doing things; like getting ideas or thinking,” Levi commented, propping the fishing spear up against the wall where he had found it.  I scoffed at his comment, making my way over to a much smaller tool and examining it closely, liking the lighter feel of it much more.

I heard the red-headed woman approach me from behind, turning to see Petra carrying a few more spear selections toward us.  She placed them on the wooden counter, slapping Levi’s hand away as he reached for one of the larger ones, enforcing the ‘look but don’t touch’ sign she had displayed a the front of her shop.

“These are some of my better quality ones I keep out the back.  Part of my ‘Scouting Legion members only’ collection,” she announced proudly as I came closer to the few spears she had lined up for us.

Levi and I had spent the morning trying to fish with rods, and then feeling utterly humiliated as we hiked back to the house empty handed.  Apparently, building up your fishing skill was a lot harder than we had first anticipated, and after finding out it would be a few weeks before we caught anything large enough to cook, we decided to take a different approach.  With Levi’s precision and speed, my ability to read movements and fast reflexes, we decided spear fishing was the best course of action.

Making our way back to Floor Forty-Two had been difficult, as it held nothing but harsh and disheartening memories for me.  Levi understood this, and didn’t feel like returning as much as I did, but felt it would be too unfair to ask Petra to make a house call.  I had suggested finding another weaponry shop closer to us, but Levi explained he got massive discounts as a high-ranking officer of the Scouting Legion.

It had made me sick to my stomach at first, and the thought of seeing Petra again hadn’t made me feel any better about the whole ordeal, but upon first entering her shop, she had been nothing but pleasant, if not a little guarded.  I was starting to pick up on her true relationship with Levi, how much he meant to her, and it took me a moment to remember that Levi had others who cared about him just like I had a sister and friends who cared about me.  It had just been him and I for so long, it was hard to remember there were other people around us that affected our lives.

I guess it was never easy seeing your best friend marry another person, especially if you didn’t know them.  So, for Levi’s sake, and my own, I had tried to make good with Petra, and a mutual understanding meant she was doing the same.  It would only make the transition into the Scouting Legion a lot simpler this way.

“I’m tempted to make you pay full-price, Levi, as payback for not inviting me to your wedding,” Petra was saying, hands on her hips as she frowned at him.  Levi was pre-occupied with testing the sharpness of a black-coloured tip on his finger. 

I yanked it away from him before he could hurt himself.

“If it makes you feel any better,” I replied to her, “we didn’t invite anyone.  It was a spur of the moment thing.”

“Marriage in SAO is simple.  You don’t need to take blood tests, have a marriage license or even be of age.  Six year olds could do it,” Levi drawled, picking up another spear and testing it on his finger again.  I yanked it off him, scowling at him, telling him to test the spears some other way.

“You could have at least sent an announcement to us once you were done.”

“I did.”

“Taking a leave of absence because, and I quote, ‘for marital reasons’ is not an official announcement!”

I started to walk around the rest of the shop, eyeing a few of the blades Petra had on display, wondering if I was special enough to see the ones she might keep in her ‘Scouting Legion members only’ collection, admiring the fine work along the ridges of the blades and the craftsmanship that had gone into the hilts.  I could still hear Levi and Petra bickering behind me, thinking they sounded like a married couple far more than Levi and I ever did.  I chuckled as Petra conceded and simply let Levi test the spears in whichever way he wanted, a disgruntled ‘I told you so’ leaving her lips as he sliced his finger.

I turned to watch as Levi pretended to be mad at Petra for being mad at him for not listening to her.  I watched as he waved his finger at her, the red on his finger receding quickly, soon he was pointing nothing at her but the tip of his glove.  I watched as she put her hands on her hips again, scolding him for being a drama queen, Levi arguing he was nothing, if not a drama king.

As I watched this all unfold in front of me, I started to see how familiar it was for the both of them.  How their movements and quick jibes at each other came easy and smoothly, as if they had done it a thousand times before.  I started to see how easy it was for Petra to scold Levi, anybody else always clamming up, scared of saying the wrong thing in front of such a respected player.

“…irresponsible asshole!” Petra was shouting, completely fed-up with Levi’s antics.  “And another thing; why didn’t you reply to any of my messages?”

“See, this is why I’m gay.  Guys don’t have nearly as much of a problem if I take a few days to reply to a message.  Girls freak out if I don’t reply within thirty seconds,” Levi was looking at another spear, pretending to stab his heart, floundering around for a bit before collapsing to the floor in a heap.  I could only smile, walking over to take the third spear from him today, stepping on his chest to keep him grounded.

“Sexist pig!” Petra spat, yanking the spear from my grip.

“ _Levi, I’ve heard from the commander that you’re married.  But you wouldn’t do that without telling me first, right?_ ” Levi’s voice had taken on a higher note, as he mockingly tried to imitate Petra’s voice from his place on the floor.  “I didn’t realise I had to ask your permission before I tied the knot.  _It’s been months since I last saw you.  The thing with Oluo was a misunderstanding.  Message me when you get this._ ‘Misunderstanding’ my ass.  He’ll be lucky if he doesn’t get his own sword stabbed through him the next time I see him.  _I’m making something special tonight for some people from the legion.  Please tell me you’ll be attending dinner.  Aaron is more than welcome._   How could you forget Eren’s name?  You had dinner with him!”

I decided to not remind Levi that both him and Petra had spent the better half of the night talking about me like I wasn’t there and I don’t think Petra had ever even spoken my name the entire time I was in her house.  Levi continued to quote some of the messages Petra had obviously been bothering him with, a snide comment following each one.

Petra held out the spear from before to me, still glaring down at Levi.

“I yield.  Please feel free to stab him.  No charge necessary,” she said, hissing as she did.  I took the spear from her, but took my foot off Levi so he could finally stand up, watching as he brushed off his clothes.

Levi said something about wanting to look at commission prices and walked away to the front desk where they were displayed, leaving me and a disgruntled Petra alone together.  I handed back the spear to her.

“Did you really send all those messages to him?” I asked softly, honestly feeling bad that Levi hadn’t taken at least some time to tell her he was alright, despite how mad the both of us had been at the time.

She turned to look directly at my face, eyeing me to see if I was mocking her, asking out of spite or was truly concerned.  Her face relaxed as she realised it was the latter, happy that things between us were finally settling down so we could start a real friendship out of all of this.  Then again, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be friends with Petra, but she certainly didn’t seem as bad as I had first thought she was, and a truce would at least hold the peace we had built together.

“I know I don’t seem like a good person to you, but I honestly do worry about Levi.  I couldn’t stop thinking about him after what had happened between Oluo and the rest of us.  I’m sorry to say I never worried about your wellbeing, but I was more worried about how Levi was handling the whole thing and if he would recover from it.  He’s had a lot of setbacks in his life.  He doesn’t need them here as well.”

I bristled at the thought of her thinking about Levi, despite knowing it had nothing to do with any sort of romantic feelings she might have.  As she continued talking, I realised Petra had feelings for Levi akin to that a mother will have for her son.  She worried about him over anyone else, and even though she didn’t mention it, I know she was worried about their relationship as well as Levi’s mental health.

I softened more and more as I looked at her face, starting to understand her hostility towards me when we had first met, beginning to know why it had been so hard to get on her good side.  Suddenly, I found myself respecting Petra a lot more than I ever would have thought.  She had cared for Levi long before I had, and I needed to respect that as well, needed to respect that there would be a tie between her and him that wouldn’t be severed because of a few fights over what may have happened to me.  I found myself relieved at this thought.

“He’s different,” she was suddenly saying.  I eyed her, raising an eyebrow at what she had just said.  “Don’t you see it too?  He’s not nearly as stiff as he used to be.  He’s more relaxed now, not as guarded.  His movements come easier to him.  It’s like he’s let go of something that had been keeping him grounded all this time, and now he can finally spread his wings and fly.”

I ignored the cheesy metaphor, looking over to see Levi completely engrossed in Petra’s catalogue, obviously fascinated with the new editions she had added since he last saw her.  I didn’t see it.  Levi was still Levi to me, just as he had always been.  The same grumpy, quick-witted, fast-to-act man I had first met, and the same brazened, confident and cold man I had fallen in love with.  But Petra had seen Levi in more situations than I had, and I guess she could see it more clearly after having been apart from him for so long, where as I had spent almost every moment with him since we had met.

“He’s still Levi to me,” I told her.

“Of course he’s still Levi.  But he’s a Levi that’s a lot more pleasant to be around.”

I took her word for it.

“Are you two talking about me?” Levi was coming across to us, having found nothing he wanted over at Petra’s rapiers.

“’About’ you, not ‘to’ you!” Petra scoffed.

Levi came right up to me, looping his arms around my waist and resting his hands on my hip, pulling me to him.  I leant against him, slipping an arm around his own waist.  It always surprised me how happy I suddenly felt when Levi was holding me, how my heart started to beat faster and how my face still heated up, his fingers splayed across my hip reminding me of his fingers splayed across other parts of my body.

We went to spent the money from Bertholdt and Reiner on a fishing spear each, but Petra wouldn’t take it, claiming the spears were both engagement and wedding presents.  We each picked a spear with a high durability so it wouldn’t break so easily, but still had enough speed to match our own abilities and set of skills.  Petra and Levi bantered a bit more before she finally conceded and let us leave to go have dinner.  The sun was already low in the sky as we walked to the door, Levi’s hair standing on end from when Petra had tackled him to the ground after he had made a snide comment about her flat chest.

“I’ll see you soon, Eren,” Petra called to me.  I gave her another quizzical look.  “You’ll have to come back to get a customised blade once you’ve joined the legion,” she explained.

“I already have a blade,” I commented, not really arguing, but not seeing the point in getting a whole new one when mine still worked perfectly fine for my level.

“Everyone gets a customised weapon after joining our ranks.  Nobody in the legion has a weapon made by anyone else but me!”

That was rather impressive, considering the numbers I knew the legion was made of.

“My blade still works fine for me and it’s a rare item so I’d feel bad not using it.”

“But if you save it for special occasions it makes it even rarer.  You can use a blade made by me the rest of the time.”

“Carrying around two blades seems like a waste of inventory space.”

“You used to carry a shield around, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but it had a practical use.  Two blades-“

“Forget it, Eren; you’re getting a new blade.  Don’t fight her on this.  Believe me, I’ve tried,” Levi interjected, yanking me out the door.  “Her weapons are always better anyway, whether you want to believe it or not.”

“Damn right they are!” I heard Petra shout as the shop door shut behind us.

Walking back towards the town’s gate, I thought back over what Petra had said about Levi, studying him more closely, trying to compare the Levi in front of me to the Levi of back then.  I still couldn’t see the difference she was talking about, and wondered if she had just said it to seem wiser to me.  Though it seemed unlikely; Petra wasn’t arrogant.  Motherly and stubborn, but not arrogant.  I don’t think she would say something like that if it wasn’t true.

_I’m sorry to say I never worried about your wellbeing, but I was more worried about how Levi was handling the whole thing and if he would recover from it.  He’s had a lot of setbacks in his life.  He doesn’t need them here as well._

Need them here?  Wait a second…

“Levi, do you know Petra outside of Sword Art Online?”

“Hmm?” Levi had obviously been lost in thought, contemplating what he wanted for dinner, probably forgetting I was even following him.  It was just habit to expect that from me now, and he had stopped looking over his shoulder to see if I was keeping up long ago.  “Yes.  She’s the assistant I was talking about.”

I gaped at his back as he continued to walk, as if what he had just revealed wasn’t important.  I tried to think it wasn’t, as Levi didn’t say anything more on the subject, but I couldn’t see how it wasn’t.  I had assumed, just like I always had, that Levi and Petra had met while together in the Scouting Legion, had teamed up and had become friends over time.  I thought Petra’s motherly instincts were just natural for her, that maybe she had children back home and was a gamer in her spare time.  But now that I realised her feelings stemmed from years of helping Levi through his days, I understood exactly where she had been coming from when she had told me Levi was now different.  If anyone would notice such a thing, it would be her.

\---

Just as we had suspected, spear fishing was the perfect way for Levi and I to catch our dinner.  We took it in turns chasing the hordes of fish that swam at our shores towards the other one who was ready with the spear in hand.  Soon, we started competitions to see who could catch the most in one go.  I held the record at four fish, and after that, Levi started sabotaging my spearing technique so I would stop winning.

After the third time he had ‘slipped’ and fell on me so I went crashing into the water, I simply picked him up and headed to deeper waters, smirking as Levi struggled to  escape my arms before I got to the point where he wouldn’t be able to stand.  I ended up diving underneath the surface, still holding him to me, carefully making sure he wasn’t too afraid of being so deep under.  Locking my lips with his seemed to calm him down a fair bit, and soon we were gasping for breath while I treaded water and kept us both afloat.

I managed to teach Levi how to float on his back, and soon we were both comfortably lying under the sun, our chests and knees grazing the top of the water, our hands interlocked carefully. 

“Is there anybody else I’ve met that you know outside of SAO?” I asked him at one point, not wanting it to be such a surprise the next time I discovered Levi had a relationship with someone I already knew.

“Just Oluo.”  Somehow, I wasn’t surprised.  “He’s been trying to win Petra for years so he puts up with me for her sake.  I think he only started playing because of her as well.  I guess that’s a common theme in this game.”

I chuckled, thinking back to how irritated Oluo seemed to be at seeing Levi again, and how much more irritated he seemed when Petra was defensive of him.  I squeezed Levi’s fingers with my own, feeling him clench his fingers around mine. 

Something had been bothering me, in the back of my mind, since Levi had confirmed his true relationship with Petra.  I hadn’t wanted to bring it up, as it involved life outside this game, and even though Levi had said he no longer wanted to stay inside Aincrad’s walls, I was still hesitant to broach the subject around him.  Yet here, lying under the sun, the waves tossing us closer to the shore, talking about outside relationships already, I didn’t think I’d find a better time to ask.

“What happens to Petra once we finish this game?” I said it carefully, making sure there was no hostility in my voice, as I wasn’t asking because I wanted to be rid of her; I was just intensely curious.

“She’ll return to real life just as we will.  She’ll go about her life, achieve her dreams, probably never touch another game so long as she lives.  Why would you need to ask?”

I took a deep breath before trying again.

“I meant what happens to her once we find each other?”  The air was thick as Levi realised what I had been implying.  “I’m not saying she’ll be obsolete, but with me in the picture, she won’t need to be around as often as she was.  I’ll be your eyes, the one taking care of you.”

I didn’t know whether Levi was frowning at my question; I couldn’t turn my head to check.  But his fingers didn’t loosen around mine, and I took that as a good sign.  I felt relieved when I heard Levi let out a short and muttered laugh, finding it amusing that I’d have to ask, despite how curious I was for his answer.

“I guess you’re right.  I won’t need her as my assistant anymore.”  His fingers even tightened around mine.  “I’ll have you to banter about when it’s safe to cross the street and to argue over whether I’ve had enough eggs during the week.”

I pouted at the thought of all the bickering Levi and I were sure to do.

“I don’t like eggs so I don’t really care,” I offered.  Levi snorted.

“I guess Petra will finally have time to go out and find a husband and have those kids she’s always talking about.”

“Petra wants kids?”

“You didn’t pick up on that from the way she mothers me?  I kept telling her when I first hired her she doesn’t need to scold me, but she adopted the instinct early from taking care of her siblings all the time when she was younger.  Even that never deterred her wish for her own kids.”

It surprised me how much depth there was to Petra.  I didn’t know why I found it so surprising that of course she had dreams, ambitions, a goal, a past that affected all of that and who she was today.  She wasn’t a NPC.  She had a mind of her own, just like Levi, just like me.  I had been happily encased in my little bubble for so long, Levi right by my side, the rest of the world never daring to bother us, that I had forgotten it wasn’t just the two of us.  There were up to six thousand players still in this game, each with a past and dreams of their own.  All of them people.  All of their lives holding as much value as mine did.

“I’ll still see her,” Levi was saying now.  “She’s my friend.  I don’t act like it, but I’d definitely miss her if she wasn’t around.  I’ve just been with her for so long, and neither of us realised I’d get my eyesight back once I entered the game.  It was nice having an excuse not to be around her all the time.”

I could see where Levi was coming from.

“It’s sort of funny,” he continued.  “She was the reason I was on Floor Fifteen all those months ago.”

I adjusted at that, placing my body in the water, floating beside my husband so I could look at his face as he spoke.

“I couldn’t shake her for a long time, so I went down as low as I dared to, guessing she’d never find me there.  It was so peaceful on that floor without her, that I sat down under a tree to admire the quiet, and fell asleep.  The next thing I know, I’m being woken up by a boy’s voice and a sword at my throat.”

I had never really thought about why Levi was there when he was, why he had been on a floor so far below when he could have been on a much higher floor.  I had never considered the chain of events that had led us to meet, that had led us to making that deal, that had led us to falling in love.  Maybe I should have, because it still scared me to think of where I would be if I had never met Levi, if I might still have been stuck down on that floor still.

Levi righted himself as well, holding my shoulders as he shook the water out of his ears, then hugging me tightly, his mouth pressed against my shoulder, my own arms holding him closely, rubbing my cheek against his hair.

“I’m glad it was you who saved me,” he spoke honestly.  “If it had been anybody else, maybe someone smarter who would have recognised who I was,” I chose to ignore the obvious taunt in what he was saying, “they would have taken advantage of my position.  But you asked for the smallest thing I could think of.  I never understood why, and after a while, I stopped caring.”

I held Levi tightly, placing kisses on his neck and on his face, cupping his jaw while he held onto me, kissing his eyelids and worshipping his lips.  He was soft, warm, small and fragile.  But he was firm and heated, built for battle and his own version of strong.  I held him carefully, careful he’d break if I adjusted my fingers wrong.  But I gripped him hard, because even though the water in my hands had now turned to ice, something I could hold and feel with conviction, I was scared he would melt if I left him alone for too long.

\---

“You read slow.”

“I read at my own pace.”

“Which is slow.”

“I told you to bring your own book.”

“But I wanted to read this one.”

“Are you sure Petra didn’t need to act like your mother?  You sure as hell act four!”

Levi poked his tongue out at me, and I caught it between my lips, deepening the touch into a loving kiss where I held him tightly around his waist and Levi leaned into me more heavily.  His weight caused the chair to tip back, the curved wood underneath its legs sending us forward again.  I had never understood why Levi had been insistent on buying a rocking chair with our new home, but with his warmth on my lap and the gentle swaying motion as we kissed, I couldn’t really argue that it had its uses.

Heavy boots on wood alerted us to another presence, and we parted to watch a man in the familiar robes of the Scouting Legion approach us.  He held a sullen expression, his eyes blank and his lips drawn down in a way that told me he only had bad news.  Levi got up, approaching the man.  I could see his face was guarded, picking up on the tense air as well.

“Gunther?  What are you doing here?”

I’m guessing he wasn’t here to bring Levi back; his expression didn’t hold firmness like Oluo’s had when I had first met him, just pain and grief.

“You know we had a dungeon raid today, right?” The man named Gunther asked.  It wasn’t in an incriminating way, suggesting Levi missed it on purpose.  The brunt of why he was here was still to come.

“Right, you were scoping out the dungeon leading to Floor Seventy-Four’s boss.”  Levi had known about the raid, but was careful as he continued to eye Gunther, waiting for him to continue.  “What happened?”

“We lost some of our men.  The minor-boss fights leading up to the floor’s boss room were more powerful than we had anticipated.  Nothing we couldn’t handle once we knew, but…some were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

“This isn’t news to me,” Levi was cold now, putting up the front he still adopted when he was angry or upset, trying to retreat back into the cage Petra had told me he had escaped from.  “We lose people all the time.  Why did you come all the way here just to tell me that?”

He knew why.  I knew why.  But denial came before the grieving even started, and made it impossible to accept what we were about to hear.

“One of the people who died was Petra Ral.”

\---

Quiet.  That’s all it was.  Quiet.  Except for that goddamn grandfather clock.  It was in the living room, but we hadn’t shut the bedroom door, and I could hear it tick, tick, ticking away in the other room.  I wanted it to stop.  The loud, insistent noise reminding me over and over again that another second had passed.  I found myself counting them, and soon I knew another minute had passed.  Thirty-nine of them to be precise, at least since I had started counting.

The chiming noise came unexpectedly, the bells inside its casing ringing to a tune I didn’t know.  It played the tune then started to chime; one, two, three, four…all the way up to ten.  It was ten o’clock at night.  The chiming ceased and the ticking continued.  I gritted my teeth, trying not to start counting the hour all over again.

Levi was still and silent beside me.  I couldn’t even see his back moving as his lungs expanded inside him, didn’t know if he was still breathing.  Of course he was; because he was still here.  Just like everything else in Sword Art Online, once something reaches its end, it disappears.  Even when a player’s life drains to zero, even when the health bar is empty and transparent, they shatter too, just like a sandwich would if I dropped it on the ground or a piece of paper would if I ripped it in half.

I found that disgusting.

It was one thing for litter and waste to disappear, they were just items.  Used items.  But for a person to disappear too, what kind of sick bastard programmed it that way?  A person wasn’t a used item.  They had a life and a story to tell.  They had memories and dreams.  A face.  A purpose.  An energy; and all of that disappeared off the face of this game simply because someone ‘had been in the wrong place at the wrong time’.

We didn’t even have a body to bury, not until we got home at least; and what then?  She would be long gone by the time we got home, her family receiving the news and grieving over her grave as she was sent six feet under.  They wouldn’t know how.  They wouldn’t know why.  I bet they even though it was some kind of joke; this life and death game.  I bet they thought it could never happen to her, because she was smart and clever and she would escape easily enough.

Fuck.  I didn’t know if she was smart or clever.  What kind of shit am I saying?  I didn’t know her.  I pretended like I did and I didn’t.

I wanted to hold Levi.  I wanted to make him feel better.  But I felt like if I touched him he’d only start shouting at me; simply because he was too angry at himself.  I didn’t want him to blame himself like she had before.  I didn’t want him to feel responsible. 

“I don’t feel responsible for what happened.”  I heard his voice, and it took me a moment to register what he had said.  I couldn’t help but smile, despite the situation we were in.  It was familiar.  Levi reading my mind though I had tried to tell myself over and over again he was only reading my face.  It told me he was still here, still sane.

“Good,” was all I could say.

“Even though she wouldn’t have been here if it wasn’t for me.”

I could only continue to stare at his back.  He couldn’t see my confused expression, but he didn’t need to.

“Even though she told me not to come.  That finding my way blind in real life is different to finding my way blind in a virtual reality.  Even though we fought for months over whether I would be allowed to play or not.  Even though she made me promise I would be able to play only if she was to play too,” his voice was thick, and I could feel it coming.  I quickly wrapped my arms over him, holding him to me tight, trying to keep together whatever small shards of Levi were about to come undone.  I felt Levi grip my arm that was wound around his chest, could feel him holding on for dear life.  “Even though I made her play, even knowing she hated video games.”

And then the tears came.

His body shook uncontrollably as he sobbed into his pillow, gripping my arm, begging me silently not to let go until he was done.  Even then, I wouldn’t release him, not until I was sure myself that he wouldn’t need to hold onto an anchor anymore.  The ticking of the grandfather clock was drowned out by Levi’s pained gasps and grieving cries, and I suddenly felt like the ticking hadn’t been so bad after all.

For hours we laid like that, me trying to draw enough strength to hold Levi together as he let himself fall apart, and he only became quiet when the chiming only rang once.  He was quiet, but he hadn’t fallen asleep.  I think he had just run out of tears to shed.  I pressed kisses to the back of his neck, ignoring the flinches he first gave me, continuing until he gave way to pure relief as he turned over and buried his face in the fabric of my shirt.

“I need to go back.”

I stroked his back carefully, my fingers laced in his hair, letting him talk out whatever was on his mind.

“It’s not my fault those people died, but I’ve been away for too long.  I need to go back to the front lines.  I can’t sit back and watch while more of my world falls away.”

“Okay,” I said softly into his hair, holding him closer, telling him I understood exactly what he meant, exactly what he was trying to say. 

Levi had been a soldier, first and foremost.  He had taken a leave of absence too late for it to matter, and had used his time away to recover a life he thought he had lost for good.  But it was common knowledge that once a soldier left the battlefield, it meant they had left another part of themselves behind.  They may not have wanted to, but it was hard to take with you the part of yourself that had put your entire being into fighting for the safety of those back home.

Sword Art Online was no different.

Levi couldn’t recover what he had left on the battlefield, but he sure as hell could take with him the part of himself he had gained while he was away.  He could take me, and if he didn’t want to, it was a good thing I had a mind of my own and a strong will to follow.

“I’ll go with you,” I told him, the following silence neither a denial nor an agreement.  “I won’t leave you to face all of that alone.  I won’t stay here, waiting for you to come home, hoping and praying it wasn’t you that lost your life this time.  I said I’d always remain by your side, and now I have a solid foundation for that promise.  A vow, a contract, and a ring around my finger.”

Levi nodded against my chest, and I don’t think he could have denied me even if he had truly wanted to.  Being away from each other was too painful now, we had grown attached to each other’s presence, life force and way of moving.  Moving through my days without Levi would be like trying to find my way through a maze that didn’t have an exit, only made up of dead ends, making me confused and frustrated until I simply sat down and waited for the exit to come to me.

“I’m not afraid of you being on the front lines,” Levi admitted, his voice muffled by my shirt.  “Because I’ll be there.  I’ll be there to protect you, just like I promised, just like I am bound to do, by my vow, my contract and my ring.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Don't forget to send Eren and Levi all your thoughts, comments and questions!](http://agility-hunter-blinding-speed.tumblr.com)


	15. Onward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi had prepared me for all of this, had talked me through what it would take to enter the legion’s forces, the tests I would have to undertake to become one of the greats. He mentioned it could be awkward for me, seeing Levi among those who would decide if I was worthy to enter the guild, but as he was also the one who had recommended me, I should have nothing to worry about when it came to getting past the first trial.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Glad I managed to get this done before I move out tomorrow!
> 
> Not sure when I'll be able to update again but I'll try to take advantage of my lack of workload in the first few weeks and get this story done. I can see the ending now, and though it still has about five chapters to go, it's pretty scary to think of bringing this story to a close.
> 
> Sorry not a lot happens in this chapter, but I promise following chapters will make up for it. :3

If there was one word I would use to describe the Scouting Legion’s headquarters it would be: impressive.  I knew the guild was huge, famous, powerful and influenced almost the results of almost half the floor boss battles that had taken place, but I hadn’t realised the complete confidence the guild held until I was standing in its lobby. 

The headquarters were a grand castle, small but fine, demanding respect to the legion from anyone who passed through its entrance.  The lobby itself was enough to cause my palms to sweat and the back of my neck to ache as I stared up at the various flags that doted the high-arched ceiling.  I made out designs on the flags, colours and tones that made up various people, an animal symbol in the corner and their named scrawled in cursive writing along the edge.

I could make out Zoe Hanji, a bob cat yowling beside her ear.  I could see Mike Zacharias, a grizzly bear angered on his shoulder.  I could read Erwin Smith, an eagle balanced in the sky just behind his portrait.  I adjusted my angle, walking across the room and stretching my neck slightly, until I found the familiar letters of Levi painted on one of the flags, surprised to find a dragon etched into the fabric.

It surprised me that of all the animals they had chosen to represent Levi, they had chosen one of legend and myth.  Though true, dragons were far common in Aincrad than they were in the outside world, I had figured the legion had kept to animals found in reality, to keep with their theme and goal of ridding this game of bosses and freeing everyone from this virtual prison.  But the more I thought about it, I guessed they had come to the same conclusion I had; no animal alive could match the raw power that Levi possessed when he fought.

I wondered what animal would be beside me if I ever managed to get up there, hung amongst the greatest payers the legion had ever known. 

“Eren Jaeger?”

I turned towards the sound of my name, watching as the man who had visited our cabin yesterday approach me.  I tried to remember his name and came up blank, so only nodded to confirm my identity.  He ushered me through a hallway, where we weaved through more walls and high-arched ceilings, portraits of various legendary weapons displayed along the halls, until we reached a large door, the Scouting Legion’s emblem serving as the doorhandles that would open them.

“The commanding officers are ready to see you now,” the man told me.  I clenched my fists, trying to rid my body of the nerves that had progressed through my veins, telling myself that I was more than ready to prove myself worthy of being amongst these amazing players.

Gunther (I quickly remembered) opened the door slightly and let me inside, the sound of the wood shutting behind me echoing throughout the vast room.  The far wall was completely made up of windows, a long desk sat in front of it, the wings of freedom, detailed to the point I could make out each strand on every feather, painted into the marble under my feet.  My boots made the same sound of a ticking clock as I walked to the centre of the room, the wings spread out underneath me.

I tried not to look as nervous as I felt as I looked over each of the commanding officers before me.  I could recognise some of the players from the flags out in the lobby, Erwin Smith sitting as the dividing point, Mike Zacharias flanked on his left, Levi on his right.  Levi was leaning on his hands so I couldn’t see his mouth, but I could tell from just looking at his eyes that he was giving me a comforting smile.

Levi had prepared me for all of this, had talked me through what it would take to enter the legion’s forces, the tests I would have to undertake to become one of the greats.  He mentioned it could be awkward for me, seeing Levi among those who would decide if I was worthy to enter the guild, but as he was also the one who had recommended me, I should have nothing to worry about when it came to getting past the first trial.

As I stood there, I could only think of the one time I had gone for a job interview.  I had been so nervous, though my sister had told me constantly that they were only getting to know me, that I just had to be honest and clear with my answers.  The interview had gone well enough, and though I hadn’t gotten the job, it had been a rewarding experience.  I kept telling myself that since I had done it once, it would be easy to do it again.

But this didn’t feel like that.  This felt like I had been put on a plate to be judged by all those I admired most.  This felt like it was life or death, one option or another.  If I didn’t get into the Scouting Legion, it meant waiting countless hours for Levi to return to me, never knowing if he was safe or not, never fully comfortable with the idea of him being so far away from me.

Levi had told me if I didn’t get into the legion that I could simply join another guild, as it was common for guilds to pair up as they took on different floor bosses.  But I had told him it wouldn’t be the same.  The Scouting Legion had been my main goal even long before I had met Levi; settling for second best simply wouldn’t do.

“Eren Jaeger,” Erwin started to speak.  I was glad to see he had a smile on his face, eyes filled with kindness and his shoulders were relaxed, telling me this wouldn’t be as brutal as I had first thought.  “First thing: I need to offer you the Scouting Legion’s heartfelt congratulations.  It’s not every day one of our own tie the knot.”

I could only stutter a thank you, completely unsure of how to react to such an offering of kindness that had been presented to me right off the bat.  I glanced at Levi, who was only rolling his eyes.

“You’ve come highly recommended by one of our own commanding officers, and we’ve taken into account all your completed quests, along with your present skills, weapon’s usage and grinding history.  All these check out just fine, along with the reassurance that Levi has fought with you before and has told us of your reaction time, reflexes and uncanny ability to read movements.  All of these are favourable traits in a guild member.”

I could only nod.

“What really interests me, however, is the ‘Spin’ skill that both you and Levi share.”

That was unexpected.  He had mentioned looking over my skills, but I honestly hadn’t thought the skill was anything special beyond its power and my strange way of achieving it.  Even I hadn’t figured out exactly how I had gotten it.

“Did you know that you and Levi are the only known members within Sword Art Online to have this skill?”

I shook my head. 

That was even more unexpected.  I hadn’t realised it was so rare, that the skill I had harboured secretly for so long offered such an impact on the skill list.  Honestly, I had been happy to find out Levi shared my skill, as it meant he could tell me all about it, it’s strength and weaknesses and when was best to use it.  I had mastered it so quickly thanks to him.  But to find out that _nobody_ else had it; I wasn’t sure what to think of myself anymore.

“We have our own theories as to how Levi obtained it, but as to how it was passed onto you is a complete mystery.”

“’Spin’ is rewarded to the player with the fastest speed stat as it’s the only accompanying ability that would allow the player to use it at its highest velocity,” Mike was speaking now, making my head spin.  “Your speed is commendable, though nothing compared to that of Levi’s.  The fact that you have it has thrown all our theories out the window.”

“I’m sorry?” was all I could say.  Erwin chuckled at that. 

“Forget about that!” The lady sitting beside Levi shouted, standing up and slamming her hands on the table, wearing an insatiable grin on her face.  I took a step back, though Levi’s still posture as he didn’t bother to react to this turn of events told me this was completely normal.  “Show it to me!  Show me the blade!  The stuff of legends!  The Crowning Glory!”

I watched as Levi slowly turned, grabbing the girl’s ponytail and yanking so she was forced to sit back down.

“Ah, that’s right,” Erwin picked up where the girl had left off.  “You’re also in possession of one of the five legendary weapons Sword Art Online has to offer.”

I blinked hard.  This single interview was telling me more about myself than I knew, and was effectively making my head swim and my knees shake.  I didn’t know how to react to all this praise, all this rare and legendary rewards that happened to be bestowed upon me.  I hadn’t intentionally achieved any of it, and despite how nice it was to own such possessions and skills, I didn’t feel like I deserved the praise I was getting.

“Th-that’s right,” my voice was strained and weak as I spoke.  I coughed to try and clear it, before taking the special blade out of its holster and holding it up for everybody to see.  There were murmurs of awe and wonder as the blade caught the light from the many windows, swimming on its hilt, almost seeming to bend as I flexed it, though I knew it was as harder than steel.

There was a rattle as Levi held Hanji down in her seat, grunting as he tried to refrain her from simply attacking me in the middle of the room.  I quickly put it away, hoping losing sight of it would make her calm down and hopefully would mean the rest of them stop staring at me so hard.

“Eren, we’d be happy for you to join our ranks,” Erwin announced.  I wanted to sigh with relief and then run from the room, but I felt like he had more to say, so stood my ground.  “Though just as everybody else before you, you’re going to have to prove your tenacity in battle.”

I tensed, not liking where this was going.

“Simply put, we require each member trying for the Scouting Legion to participate, and return alive, from a floor boss fight.  Of course, this doesn’t mean we’ll be putting you in the front of the crowd, but you will need to demonstrate that your skills will be of some use to us.  There is a raid being held tomorrow, and if you feel you are ready, you may take your test then.”

There’s a poem, written by a man in a movie, about being thrown into battle against his will.  Despite this, he demands his life, and fights for those he loves and all that he holds dear.  I can’t remember the exact words of the poem, despite it being only four lines long and one of those lines is repeated, but I honestly wish I had committed it to memory now, as knowing the words would help me convey exactly how I felt at this moment.

As soon as I had agreed to take the test as soon as I could, I let myself out of the room and made my way back to the lobby.  I could only look at my feet as I left the main entrance, not wanting to look at the flags above me, reminding me that all those people had sacrificed a lot more than just time and energy to be there.  Who knows what kinds of peril they had gone through; who they had lost, and for what?  A flag on the ceiling?  Yay.

The air was crisp and cool on my face as I reached the outside.  I avoided the curious gazes of all the guild members around me, who were wondering why there was a newbie amongst their midst.  I wondered how hard it was to come back from a floor boss.  I wondered how many people tried and failed for the Scouting Legion every time they decided to attempt to open a new floor, though it wasn’t just a matter of failing, being disappointed but then coming back to try again later.  Once again, it was live or die.  I was honestly getting sick of everything being so black and white in this game.

The courtyard outside the headquarters was bustling with activity, probably everyone reporting in for the battle tomorrow.  I found a large tree, no people surrounding its base, and took cover under its shade, bending over and trying to regain my bearings, breathing hard through my mouth and wiping the sweat from my brow.

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the stray?  How did you find your way onto the grounds?”

I turned to see Oluo looking over me, a smug grin on his face, a sword poking out from the holster on his side.  I recognised the grip of the sword, but not as the usual blood-red blade he had used before.  I couldn’t remember where I had seen it though.  I only frowned at Oluo, silently asking him if he was still mad at me for taking Levi’s attention.

“Of course, I’m kidding,” his stupid face contorted into what I think was a smile.  “I heard you managed to tie Levi to you, that you two are a package now.”

I didn’t detect any sort of jealousy in his voice, just disdain, regret, a sort of resentment I didn’t recognise.  I could only continue to glare at him, not feeling like talking with him if he was going to be a prat.

“Well at least one of us gets a wedding.  Good thing you eloped too.  Those things are a pain to plan.”

_How would you know?_

I didn’t want to be rude, except that I did. 

“Listen, Oluo, I’m busy at the moment.  Levi’s coming back any minute now and we’re supposed to discuss strategy for tomorrow.”  Not that I knew if Levi was coming back anytime soon, but I hoped the mentioned presence of his superior would put Oluo on his best behaviour. 

“Oh right, the floor boss fight tomorrow.  I suppose you’ll be trying for the legion then, won’t you?  It’s just a shame my fiancé won’t be here to hand you your reward if you manage to return.”

_Fiancé? Reward?  Speak English or get out._

“What are you talking about?” I spat at him, Oluo putting me in an even worse mood than I would have thought possible.

“Oh right, I guess you wouldn’t have heard, with Petra having died and all before we could make the announcement.”

I bristled at the name, and suddenly I recognised exactly where that sword had come from.  It had been Petra’s.  I had only seen it once, all those months ago when we had been stuck in a double-duel together, her grip obscuring the hilt and the blade flashing threateningly as I evaded it.  Then I remembered Levi telling me Oluo had always wanted to be with Petra, and the sick feeling I had just manage to get rid of came hurtling down on me all over again.

There was a voice in the distance who called Oluo’s name, saying they needed him for something, though I couldn’t hear what.  With a swish of his robes and a knowing, condescending look, he left me standing under the tree staring at his retreating back, at the blade that glinted on his hip, and the blame that radiated from his stance as he walked.

Oluo had never liked me; that much had always been clear.  He had disliked me for taking up so much of Levi’s time, and I guess Oluo had thought that if Levi had been there, he might have been able to save the woman he loved.  But rather than placing the fault on someone he admired and refused to think of in bad taste, he had decided to place the fault on the next best thing and had ended up blaming me.

As unfair as it was, I found I wasn’t mad at Oluo for thinking that way.  I remember when my mother had died I had thrown all my energy into blaming my father.  He hadn’t been the one driving the truck that had ran the red light and had effectively smashed her car into a sheet of aluminium foil, but he had been out of the country when it had happened, and I had convinced myself that if he hadn’t left, she would still be alive.

It was a ridiculous way of thinking, but even Dad hadn’t thought badly of me when I had spent a month screeching at him.  When someone suffers a terrible loss, they are filled with an unexplainable rage.  Some people direct it towards themselves, blaming their own actions for what transpired, but for those who don’t want to think they had anything to do with something so horrible, they blame who they can, and force themselves to be angry at someone who may have been just as innocent as them.

I wasn’t mad at Oluo for blaming me, because if it’s what he needed at the time, maybe I was helping by not helping at all.

Arms were around me, pulling me to a strong chest and a nose was in my hair, breathing in my scent.  I yelped at the sudden change in venue, righting myself so I could lean more comfortably against him, turning my head to leave a trail of saliva up his jaw, which caused him to angle my head so he could kiss me in full.

I revelled in the comfortable feeling for a moment, relaxing into Levi’s hold and humming against his warm lips, the pads of his fingers brushing away my bangs, causing my skin to shiver and yearn for something more.  But being in public, I managed to force myself to pull away, turning so I could hold his waist and rest my forehead against his, both of us sharing thoughts that didn’t need to be spoken.

“You’ll be fine,” his voice was gentle as he spoke, soft, lulling me into a sense of safety.  “Even if you stand in the back and feed healing crystals to all your party members, it’s good enough as ‘participation’.”

I scoffed, raising my eyebrow at him, pecking his lips before replying.

“You know I’m not going to half-ass this.  I’ll show them all that, without a doubt, I belong here.  With you.”

“You were pretty wonderful in there,” his breath fanned my cheeks as he murmured against my lips.

“Really?  I thought I did a horrible job.”

“You did.  I was trying to make you feel better.”

Our next kiss was deep, meaningful.  It made my heart race faster and my skin shiver.  As his tongue glided along the roof of my mouth, I felt his arms wind around me tighter, holding us fast together.  ‘Public’ be damned.  I let out a whiny moan, tangling my fingers in his hair, tilting my head and letting him in just a little deeper.  You didn’t have to be a genius to guess where this was going, where we wanted it to go.  The constant thought of this trial hanging over my head had made far tenser than I cared to be, meaning I was so ready to let all my tension out in the best way I knew how.

So I was surprised when I felt Levi’s arms extend, pushing me back and splitting our lips apart with a smacking sound.  I frowned at him, about to open my mouth when his soft voice cut me short.

“Not now.”

Levi’s eyes were full of something I couldn’t quite understand, full of something I wasn’t sure I wanted to understand.  It was an underlying fear of a previous event being repeated right before his very eyes, squashed under a mask of pride Levi was forced to wear for the sake of the legion and those who looked up to him as a leader.  I sighed deeply.

“Alright,” I conceded, removing his hands from my waist.  “Something to look forward to then?”

A smile, a nod, a final, swift kiss.

“Something to look forward to.”

\---

There were people all around me, of all different sizes, genders, colours.  Their weapons gleaming against their hips, the blades newly shined, the eyes of their owners filled with a determination I couldn’t bring myself to hold.  I envied all the cocky grins that surrounded me, all the murmurs of excitement, growing louder as more and more people seemed to come through the town’s gate to join the fray of guild members.

Along with the Scouting Legion’s forces, I had noticed the Garrison had joined the raid as well as very few members of the Military Police.  My stomach churned as I realised how many recruits, taking the same test I was, had gathered to try for their favourite guilds today.  Anyone that didn’t belong to a guild yet had been given a cape to wear to distinguish them, a shield emblazoned on the back, two swords overlapping its centre.

I didn’t understand all their smiles.  Why didn’t anyone seem as nervous as I was?  Why didn’t anyone realise the severity of what they were about to undertake?  Why were they already making plans for when they had joined whichever guild they were trying for?  Why did they all think they were coming back?  I knew they all must be pretty strong; all would have endless experience to back up their straight postures and wide eyes.  But even as I thought back to how prepared I also was for this, I still couldn’t comprehend why they hadn’t taken into account the consequences that went with making a wrong move during this raid?

There was a hush that swept over the crowd, everyone turning to one respective spot in the courtyard.  I turned with them, watching as all commanding officers of all three guilds made their entrance; I recognised Nile leading the way.  I tried to look for Levi, wanting one last reassuring nod from him before undertaking this challenge, but his height made it merely impossible to spot him among the abled bodies that were making their way past me.

The powerful players and their accompanying party members took the stage ahead of all the recruits, Nile starting in on a speech of ‘winning the right to fight for our freedom’ and ‘only the best should be allowed such a privilege’.  Didn’t important people like him have their speeches approved before they spoke them?  I scowled at him from the crowd, and the responsive glare I got back wasn’t lost on me.

Then we were instructed to make a party of between four to six players.  I had already been assigned to a party, my fellow members being a red head with a distraught look on her face, her accompanying close-shaved friend who was trying to knock some sense into her, as well as none other than the traitor himself; Reiner Braun.

“Eren!  You’re going for the Scouting Legion too then?” He didn’t sound as unhappy to see me as I was to see him.  I decided not to let my disdain towards him get in the way of our team work; this was an important raid.  It wasn’t just about us and whether or not we’d make it into our respective guilds, it was about clearing another floor, taking another step towards home.  “I guess that’s to be expected!  I didn’t think Levi would let you stay just a regular player with your skills.”

“Where’s Bertholdt?” I asked, ignoring his comment completely.

“He’s trying for the Military Police, so got assigned to a different party.”

This stunned me.  I didn’t know Reiner beyond the few classes we had shared together along with the unexpected twist in our relationship that this game had given, but I did know Reiner and Bertholdt had been joined at the hip since birth.  It was weird, even for me, to think of them separating to the point of trying to enter different guilds.

“Isn’t that going to be hard for you?  Being away from him, I mean?” My voice had grown earnest, no longer holding any sort of resentment I still had towards this man.

“Nah!  We’ll still run our shop together and I’ll see him during dungeon raids.  Besides, he’s got his eye on a cute blonde in the Military Police, and I got the feeling he didn’t want me getting in the way of winning her.”

Reiner was a fool if he thought I couldn’t hear the resentment in his voice as he mentioned the ‘cute blonde’ Bertholdt was trying to impress. 

“Is she a bitch?”

“She’s…” Reiner chose his words carefully.  “Different.”

“So she’s a bitch?”

“Her nose is sort of a turn-off.”

“Because she’s a bitch?”

“Well it’s not like I have to like her!”

His face had gone red, the flush of anger on his face reaching all the way down from the tips of his ears to the edge of his collarbone.  Reiner really didn’t like her at all.

“Everyone!  If I can have your attention!”

I recognised the deep, booming voice of Erwin, turning to see him gripping a corridor crystal tight in his hand.  That crystal was darker and larger than a teleport crystal, and would enable all the players to be transported to the dungeon’s entrance, where its responsive corridor crystal would be waiting to make the bridge.  Levi, Hanji and Mike were surrounding him, telling me he had chosen them as his own party members.  I guess even greats needed back-up.

“I hope you’re all ready for this challenge you will now face!"

I’m not.  But I couldn’t speak for everyone else.

“Our intel on this boss tells us it has a high HP count, strong moves that involve mostly hitting the ground hard enough to change the terrain of the room’s layout, along with armour that it is almost impossible to penetrate.  Of course, you’ll have to aim for the joints if you plan to lay any hits on it.  Not only that, but it carries a variety of three different weapons it will shift through randomly throughout the fight!  We’ve confirmed that you are, indeed, able to use teleport crystals within the room, so if your own health depletes to red and you or your party members have run out of healing crystals, we ask that you return to the town gate.  We don’t want any losses of life today!”

I could feel my neck and brow breaking out in a cold sweat as I listened to this conversation.  Of course, the only thing I could focus on was the word ‘random’.  Bullshit.  No boss has the capabilities to choose how it uses its weapons or abilities randomly.  A boss is nothing but an infinite number of rows of binary numbers.  Ones and zeroes placed together to form a terrifying monster we had to undertake in order to shift the code within this game. 

There was nothing random about how it changed its weapon’s usage.  It had a pattern.  It might be as intricate as up to one thousand moves, but it still had a pattern.  It was just a case of watching how its pattern unfolded, of being able to realise when it made the loop, and then memorising it to the point that you could counter-attack without a second thought.

“Prepare yourself, everyone!” Erwin was raising his hand, calling the name of the dungeon we were to enter, the crystal glowing and a giant portal opening before us.  I could see the dungeon on the other side.  I could see its empty hall of stone, hear the dripping of the water from the ceiling, smell the dampness that it held, and with one word, I sealed my fate by entering the chasm.  “Onward!”


	16. Alongside You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I didn’t want to back down but if the boss was anything as terrifying as that skull made it seem, I was going to have a hard time getting my knees to work. I had never planned to underestimate anything, and I certainly wouldn’t start now. Surely I couldn’t be the only one here that was trying to think of ten reasons why this was a good idea. As for controlling my bravery? I found it hard to control as I couldn’t find it to begin with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has taken so long! I think it's been about two months since I updated this fic, but uni really has taken a lot of my time. Though I love it to bits, I find it hard to sit down and do anything other than draw and sleep. But now mid-semester break is here and now that I've gotten the hang of balancing my school work I should be able to update regularly again (no promises though). 
> 
> I hope you like the chapter despite it not being as long or as good as I'd like it to have been. I'm a little out of practice. Enjoy anyway!

_Terrified:_ cause to feel extreme fear.

 _Brave:_ endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviour without showing fear.

I understand the concept of both just fine.  Being brave takes a lot of willpower, great determination, and strength of heart.  To be brave means someone has every idea of what they are about to face, knows the risks and has weighed them against what they may gain, having made a firm resolve from that research.  It might be years of training, or a sudden shift in events, that will give someone the courage they need in order to perform the task.  A series of events must align exactly right before one can be considered brave.

However, being terrified just comes naturally.

So I want to know if it’s possible to be brave and terrified at the same time?  Can you tie the two together so they form an odd sort of purpose for you, making you see everything with extreme clarity?  Is it at all possible to boast of the strength and courage and power you possess, while at the same time feeling small and vulnerable and delicate? 

It’s something to consider, I suppose.

The rough _clack, clack, clacking_ of the dozens of leather boots that echoed throughout the cave did nothing to calm my nerves.  The soft murmur of plans being made within parties made the back of my neck itch with stress.  I couldn’t even relate to the thrum of excitement, of adventure, that had settled over the guilds and the trialling members.

Yes, clearing this boss not only meant a new achievement for quite a few of us, but also an entirely new world to be opened up.  We knew nothing about Floor Seventy-Five, except that it was an entire floor closer to Floor One Hundred; to home.  Guilds had been preparing for this battle for weeks, lining up the pieces bit by bit, creating hundreds of different strategies from thousands of pieces of information.  I commended them for thinking about this so thoroughly.

But this boss, at least for me, would be different.  It would be adverse, powerful and hard; the greatest challenge I will have ever taken on to date.  This boss would be nothing like the mid-level bosses Levi and I had taken down on our many quests.  It would be nothing like the monsters we found in the woods that we vanquished for experience and treasure.  I couldn’t speak for anyone else, but as an individual, all I could think about were how many lives we could lose.

Nobody had died in a floor boss fight since Floor Sixty-Three.  I wanted us to be able to keep that record.  It showed how over prepared everyone had become each time we decided to take on the challenge of opening up a new floor.  I liked that over preparedness.  I just hoped that this time wouldn’t be any different.

I didn’t want to underestimate my future commander’s strategic integrity, nor did I want to deny his previous accomplishments on the battlefield, but I couldn’t be the only one that felt the weight of what we were about to undertake.  Despite the knowledge that, not only Levi, but Erwin, Mike, Hanji and many other great players would be fighting alongside us, I couldn’t shake the feeling of impending doom that had created a heavy cloud of turmoil and angst above me.  Then again, it was natural to feel this way before going head first into a life and death battle, wasn’t it?  It was natural to feel terrified?

So how did I make myself feel brave?

To kill time, and to make myself feel better, I gathered my party members together to discuss strategy.  As a group on trial, we would be placed amongst the players that fought in the back; a group dedicated to providing back-up if need be and support if we desired.  This was fine with me, though Reiner seemed to have other ideas swirling around in his thick skull.  It’s not that Sasha, a deeply curious character with auburn hair and a fiery temperament, didn’t seem at all up to the challenge; it’s not that Connie, a shaven and small boy who seemed too blunt for his age but seemed to know his stuff when it came to weaponry and status enhancements, might back down once inside; but both knew better than to take on more than they could chew.

We all made it clear to Reiner that the result of doing anything risky would be his responsibility, and his alone.  He seemed unhappy about this development, but as both Connie and Sasha were sticking to the resolve we had made, I wouldn’t budge any time soon either.

There was a look in Reiner’s eyes, a flicker of rebellion and a need for self-satisfaction that I didn’t like.  Speculation was a tricky subject, and made it merely impossible to bring it up with the other two members of my party without putting Reiner in the spotlight of suspicion.  Great.  Another thing I need to watch besides the swinging swords of the boss we were about to face.  Reiner’s attitude was now high up on my list.

Sooner than I liked, we were rounding the last bend within the chasm, the walls that surrounded us were slipping away to reveal a large door decorated with intricate carvings and threatening spikes of stone and ice.  The archway rose high above our heads, the head on the door reminding us of the peril we were about to face.  The large, frozen skull that sat over the divide of the two doors seemed to say to everyone what I absolutely wanted: go back.  Its icy eyes gleamed a threatening colour at us, making me shiver from my heels up to my neck and it wasn’t because of the cold that had suddenly placed itself in our vicinity.

I couldn’t even tell which animal the skull had once belonged too, probably one of the many pre-created creatures that lurked the dungeons of SAO.  The horns suggested some sort of bull, though the long fangs could have belonged to a tiger or a lion, yet the general structure of the skull itself closely resembled that of a snake.  Chimera’s were surprisingly common within this world, but they had never struck fear into my core like that dead one did.

“Brace yourselves, soldiers!” I heard the Commander’s voice booming, echoing throughout the cave, making my ears hurt and my teeth chatter.  “Don’t back down unless absolutely necessary.  Don’t underestimate what will soon be in front of you.  Don’t be afraid.  Control your bravery.”

I didn’t want to back down but if the boss was anything as terrifying as that skull made it seem, I was going to have a hard time getting my knees to work.  I had never planned to underestimate anything, and I certainly wouldn’t start now.  Surely I couldn’t be the only one here that was trying to think of ten reasons why this was a good idea.  As for controlling my bravery?  I found it hard to control as I couldn’t find it to begin with. 

With a hiss that pierced my ear drums and made my back teeth ache in agony, the doors were pushed open, revealing inside threatening cliff faces and bottomless rifts that zigged and zagged along the floor.  The gloom of each hole made my heart beat faster in my chest as my party ran to take the position we had previously been assigned.  Though the back corner felt safer than the centre, the chill that arose from the chasm below me made me realise that this was a boss room; and nowhere inside was safe.

It didn’t take long for every player participating to take their places on the stage.  Stances were met, weapons were drawn, shields were placed.  My eyes moved back and forth, studying each small party that made up our larger group, looking for signs in anybody else that told me it was perfectly natural to feel this fear.  But either I was the coward of the group or everyone else was far better at hiding their fear than I.

I took a deep breath while I still could.  I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat.  I forced my hand to still around the grip of my blade, letting the light of Crowning Glory catch on the crystal chandelier that had formed above us.  I knew this blade would be my guide, just like it had every other fight before.  It had never failed me, never once questioned why I did what I did.  Looking at my blade, realising how often I had relied on it before, gave me the final push I needed to begin to stare down this fight with a fierce determination in my stomach; they say a blade obeyed its master, but only if that master was willing to listen to its blade.

The earth erupted beneath us, sending shards of stone and gusts of wind whirling up around our bodies.  Others managed to right themselves in time while others had to fumble on the ground before they could take a step back and study what the challenge we were all about to face.  Big, brutal, barbaric and downright blood thirsty; Bone Crusher had appeared before us.

With a long neck, and an even longer jaw, a hunched back and a thick, heavy tail, Bone Crusher’s name along with its gleaming green health bars took its place in the centre of the room.  It adjusted its large, clawed feet, sending further quakes through the stone beneath me, telling us all of its weight and power.  The terrifying roar it allowed past its teeth gave me the need to slam my fists over my ears, clenching my eyes shut and praying for my hearing to be lost simply so I didn’t have to hear such an awful sound again.

Then, before I could gather my thoughts, the first strike had been laid.  Earth flew everywhere.  Dust and dirt and rocks hit me at full force, causing me to cry out.  As quickly as it had started, it ended, only for Bone Crusher to adjust itself once again, its glance sweeping over us and studying us all individually.  I felt sweat trickle down my spine.  I felt my head ache with the need to rid this place of myself.  But I couldn’t run, couldn’t back down; not now, not ever.

Gripping my blade tightly, applying a skill to its end, a rushed forward, dodging earth and limbs and other players as I led my party closer to the boss’ precinct.  Running my blade through its bony hide was no easy feat, and I barely left a mark with my strike.  Jumping back, I put a good twenty metres between the boss and me.  I let Connie take my place, noticing that his uneven and unplanned jabs wouldn’t do, and Sasha’s clean yet unpredictable action made it hard for her to straighten in time to make another clean move before it was time to switch.  Reiner used his strength, attempting to simply break through the bone-covered dinosaur with sheer force, but if anything, it only made everything worse as he used more energy with each passing hit, meaning he had to return faster and recover longer.

As it was my turn again, I attempted to aim for the sliver of skin I could see between the armour’s joint, just as Erwin had instructed, but its tail was swift and fast and I couldn’t concentrate on predicting its path while still aiming for such a small target.  The pointed tip came soaring out of nowhere, ripping through my stomach, leaving Connie with the responsibility of pulling me back before I became a further target.

“Thanks,” I managed to mutter, my health rising once again as the remnants of a health crystal shattered over me.  Sasha nodded, pulling me to my feet.  It was my turn again, heading forward and picking up speed just as Reiner sounded the signal.  I used whatever force I could muster, and thanks to whatever God was looking down upon me, I managed to slice between one of the vertebrae at the end of its tail.  Hearing it roar in pain was ever so satisfying.  Watching its health deplete, and thanks to a move I had made, was even more satisfying.

“Switch!” I sounded, letting Connie take my place once again, feeling him slap my shoulder in congratulations as he ran past. Sasha was grinning as I ran to take my place beside her, but as her grin fell and her eyes widened, I didn’t need to turn to know something in the room, in the game, had changed for the worse.  A skeleton covered lion-like boss was bad enough to face, but give it a long sword between its jaws and three extra horns and you were basically looking at hell on legs.

I didn’t realise I was me screaming until Reiner slapped my shoulder hard, knocking me out of my terrified trance.

“We can still take it!” he was saying, looking on with great and foolish determination.  “A sword like that takes time to swing!”

I felt my knuckles crack as I only held Crowning Glory between my fingers even harder.  I gritted my teeth, swallowing the feeling crawling up my throat.  Reiner could believe in his own power as much as he wanted, but there was no way any of us would be getting near that boss again.  I wasn’t used to being such a realist; maybe spending so much time with Levi had limited what I could believe in, but I also didn’t understand how everybody around me seemed almost _too_ positive.

How could they all honestly believe that this could work?  Even by numbers alone, I still couldn’t see how we all could be enough to take down that giant beast.  Erwin had mentioned that it was possible to use Teleport Crystals within this chamber; staying here was completely optional.  It wouldn’t even be running away, it would just be smart.  I don’t want to die here; I don’t want anyone else to die here. 

The crystal felt hot in my sweaty hand, the blue gleaming on my palm, winking at me.  Watching the flickering lights on its surface, it was as if it was speaking to me.  ‘Do it.’  ‘Don’t feel guilty.’  ‘This is what I’m here for.’  I clenched it hard. 

Why?  Why was it only me?  Why couldn’t I muster the courage to stay and fight, despite how hopeless it may seem?  Why couldn’t I make myself see that, even if it was small, there was still a possibility of beating that boss and returning home alive?  Why was I so terrified?  Why couldn’t I be brave!?

“-ren!” Reiner’s deep voice echoed in my ears, snapping me out of my revere and forcing me to focus on what was in front of me.  I dropped the crystal between my fingers, hearing it shatter at my feet as its durability vanished.  “Jesus Christ!  You’re boyfriend sure has balls!”

Levi, in all his brave and majestic glory, had somehow managed to place himself upon the boss’ back, leaping back and forth to catch his balance as it attempted to shake him off.  From there, Levi was able to land swing after swing through its armour, between the plates at its neck, through the joints on its back.  Bone Crusher roared loudly, pain evident as its movements became quick and erratic, failing to shake off its offender.

I could see the determination in Levi’s face as he held on, continuing to lay his sword into the boss’ skin, the white of his teeth showing as he clenched his jaws against the exertion.  As the cape on his back shifted and fluttered with his movements, I couldn’t help but think he really did have wings.  The blue and white bunched and stretched as he continued to move, flapping against his back as he soared over his prey.

I didn’t know why.  I didn’t know how.  I didn’t even know if it was possible.  All I knew was that Levi was up there fighting, and if I dared to run away from him, I could kiss my status as his husband good-bye.  In my totally unbiased opinion, Levi deserved the best.  He had been put through hell and had come back strong in both a virtual world and reality.  He had put himself last again and again, pushed himself until he was ready to collapse, and I still couldn’t figure out if it was because of me or because that’s just how he was.  Either way, the look of raw power now etched into his features made me anything but terrified.

 _Terrified:_ cause to feel extreme fear.

 _Brave:_ endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviour without showing fear.

I understand the concept of both just fine, but I’m going to change the definition of ‘brave’.

 _Brave:_ endure or face unpleasant conditions or behaviour due to a purpose that outweighs your own needs.

I wouldn’t leave Levi to fight here alone.

“Eren!  What the hell are you doing?” I heard Connie scream after me as I ran from the party.

Front line players gasped as I shoved past them, using all the strength in my status to push up from the ground and grab blindly at the bone of the boss before me.  My hand hooked onto its back vertebrae.  My hair was flattened against my scalp and the wind echoed in my ears as I was swung at inhuman speeds.  I growled, holding on for all I was worth. 

I managed to swing my other hand around, stabbing Crowning Glory into Bone Crusher’s plate, giving me something else to hold onto.

“Eren!  Are you fucking crazy!?” I could hear Levi above me, could hear leather pad against bone as he ran down the neck towards me, grabbing the back of my shirt and hauling me up beside him.  I gripped his shoulder as the boss swayed.  I felt Levi’s hands go to my waist, holding me straight as well as keeping his own balance.

“I could say the same to you!” I called back as Bone Crusher’s entire back arched as he roared in frustration.  I gripped Levi’s arms tighter, feeling him pull me closer. 

I looked to Levi, expecting him to be angry at me.  I expected him to tell me to go back, to turn around and leave him to do his job.  I expected him to give me all sorts of excuses as to why I shouldn’t be up here fighting alongside him.  Except all I saw as I gazed at his features were the soft remnants of a smile, his eyes glittering with mischief.

“I guess we’ll just have to show them how it’s done,” was all he said.  I gave him my own cocky smile, feeling my heart beat faster in my chest.  Excitement, adoration, determination, fearlessness; it was all coursing through my veins.  One of the greatest lessons I had learnt through Sword Art Online was that one’s greatest weapon was their attitude; it would always be the final decider, whether one made or broke the battle. 

Letting go of each other, taking our stances, and applying our skills, Levi and I separated, heading for different ends of the boss.  Its tail rose high and foreboding in front of me.  Its movements had grown erratic and wavering, slow and distasteful; meaning they were predictable and easy to read.  Keeping my footing proved no difficulties, and the tip of the tail rose just as I needed it to.

I held on, looking behind me to make sure Levi was in position also.  I could see him nod at me, saw his eyes glimmer with courage and hope, all that I was feeling and all that I had faith in.  I adjusted Crowning Glory one last time, double checking its tip was glowing and its blade was humming with the power of the skill Levi and I both shared.  I let go and let myself fly.

\---

It was all a blur from there.  A swirling mixture of bone and angry cries and raw power.  I know I felt my blade rip through the armour, I know I felt the entire boss crumble beneath me.  I remember cheers of victory and cries of congratulations.  I could still feel the praise being slapped on my back by rough and thankful hands.  I could still see the flashing white sign in front of me: “Congratulations! Level 70!”. 

There was a hollering of excitement as a crowd went on to activate the floor gate.  I briefly took note of Connie and Sasha’s grinning faces as they joined them.  I saw Reiner give me a thumbs up before joining the hoard of people who were heading back to the courtyard, probably planning to meet up with Bertholdt. 

Seeing Hanji bouncing around me, positively thrilled she got to see our skills in action was the thing that stuck out the most, and only because my neck still hurt from when she had been shaking my shoulders so roughly.  Erwin’s voice seemed to be still ringing in my ears, congratulating me on our unanimous victory and my new place within the Scouting Legion.  That had made my chest swell with pride, my lips stretching into a broad grin which were soon occupied with Levi’s own lips.

Talk had gone around of a victory party, all the new members of the legion wanting to intoxicate their memories with beer and wine and good food.  Levi and I, of course, had been invited as honoured guests, and were now trying to breathe amongst the amount of people crowding around us, asking about our skills and how we had managed to synchronise ourselves so well.  I thought I could hear the groaning of the table as it sunk under everyone’s weight.

“What requirements do you need to gain a skill like that!?”

“Is there a secret to wielding it or does it work like a regular skill!?”

“What about stats?  Does it affect them in anyway?”

I didn’t know which questions to answer first and the continuation of beverages being pushed into my hand and down my throat didn’t help matters.  At one point I could remember the sweet perfume and heavily-lidded eyes of a girl making herself at home in my vicinity.  She quickly got shoved away by my possessive husband, who then found a comfortable position in my lap where he didn’t plan to vacate any time soon.

My mind was groggy and my eyesight was swimming with the amount of rum I had managed to consume.  My legs were falling asleep and my foot had gone numb thanks to Levi’s weight on my lap.  My head felt heavy and my neck continued to protest in holding it up.  I hadn’t realised how exhausted I was until I had sat down, and then the adrenaline I had felt before seemed to simply leak out of my body, leaving me sore and soggy amongst this bout of new admirers.

“Oi, you.”  Two fingers were pinching the bridge of my nose, making me blink in confusion before I realised who the fingers belonged to.  I smiled warmly, drunkenly, at Levi’s beautiful face, leaning down to nuzzle his neck and soak up some of his warmth.  “Don’t fall asleep here; we’re going home soon.”

Home.  Home was where the small living room was with the comfortable sofa and all the musty, old books.  Home was where the comfortable kitchen was with the old-fashioned kettle because Levi hated the electric ones.  Home was where I could find the bedroom blindfolded because I had found it plenty of times before when my lips were preoccupied and my hands were too busy to feel along the walls.  Home was where the heater made a humming noise as it worked and there was always a faint blue light leaking in from the windows and the smell of espresso filled every room.

I was eager for it.  I was eager to relax and put my feet up, sleep off some of this alcohol and not think for a very long time.  Then, all of a sudden, with a strong hand massaging circles into my lower back and lips whispering incredibly naughty yet uplifting things into my ear, I was eager for something entirely different.  A hard body with soft skin, dark hair and vibrant blue eyes.  Sensual lips that liked attacking all the sensitive parts of my body.  I was eager to show affection in kind to my lover, kiss his neck, his chest, his back and anywhere else I’d be able to reach.

“Didn’t the commander say he needed to speak with us after the party?” I asked, my mouth muffled by Levi’s collar, my words slurring together as I spoke.

“I’ve never listened to Erwin before; do you really expect me to start now?” Levi retorted, finally getting off my lap and tugging me up to lead me out the door.

“I was hoping not.”


	17. Break the Unbreakable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I waited for Levi to slowly lift himself up again before raising my hips and forcing me back into him. He gasped as I did, clutching my shoulders tightly and crushing himself to my chest. The sound in my ear as he keened, melting into my movements as I did it over and over again, that’s when I knew what I wanted from Levi tonight. I wanted to break him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel this chapter has taken a darker turn? Or maybe it's just me? idk.
> 
> Anyway! Sorry this took a while q vq slowly learning to write amongst all my uni stuff. And yay for pointless smut!
> 
> Btw: binkers is what I named the possum that lives in my roof.
> 
> EDIT: I started tracking the tag 'fic:snksao' over on tumblr just in case.

I could feel sweat crawling down my temples.  It had started in my hair, building up and collecting until it over-flowed down my skin.  It was down my back too.  On my chest and under my chin.  It made my skin flinch every time one of the little droplets glided down my skin, thinking it was something else entirely, knowing the only one who could be making me feel such things was in front of me, on my lap, making me feel other things instead.

Levi had only just finished slipping off his jacket.  His shirt was barely unbuttoned, showing a small amount of skin beneath the white.  His tie was still lying around his neck, though not for long as he dragged it ever so slowly from its place under his shirt collar.  His knees squeezed my thighs, my Adam’s apple bobbing as I swallowed thickly around the lump that had formed in my throat.  I could practically hear the blood pumping through my veins as Levi continued to remove his clothes in front of me, painfully slow and teasing me agonisingly.

I shifted myself underneath him, trying to adjust my posture so I didn’t feel quite so uncomfortable, but no matter what position I took, the head board always seemed to be too hard for the back of my head, the pillow behind my back not fulfilling its duty of cushioning my body at all.  I swallowed again as Levi finally flicked open the last button of his shirt, running his fingers down his body, forcing my eyes to follow them as they explored every indent and dip in his beautifully defined muscles that ran all along his torso.

My heart seemed to be trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest when he started on his pants, only shifting them down his hips slightly, so little so he may as well not have moved them at all.  He was only creating room though, so he could glide his hands down his stomach and under the hem of his briefs.  I could see his hand stroking his skin under the thin fabric, could see him fondling what would soon be on display for me to see.  Then there was a soft sigh from his mouth, and my eyes tore away from his crotch up to his face where I watched him throw back his head as he let out a soft, quiet yet beautiful moan.

He uttered my name.  Short.  Sweet.  Sensual.  Caressing.  I felt myself make a noise at that, but couldn’t hear it myself.  I had blocked every part of myself out, as if I was just an entity watching the show as Levi continued to play with himself in front of me.  He picked up the pace slightly, rocking his hips, shifting his head forward so he could look me in the eyes as he murmured my name once again.

My hands were shaking as I reached forward, grasping the hem of his pants and pulling them down.  I couldn’t get them down his thighs unless he moved, but I didn’t want him to stop kneeling over me, so I simply let myself be satisfied with what I had managed.  I licked my lips as I did the same for his briefs, watching his hands move to rest in my hair as I leant forward to lick at his tip.  He hissed above me, fingernails digging into my hair and making me whine.  I didn’t stop though.

I had never done this before, so was slightly nervous about completely fucking it up, but at the same time I wasn’t afraid at all.  Levi wouldn’t laugh at me or berate me if I did a bad job.  He’d guide my head where he wanted it, control my pace to how he liked it, and all the while I’d listen carefully to his hisses and moans and whimpers, gauging which sounds I liked and wanted to hear more of.  It was a learning process, and I was more than happy to be Levi’s student.

His scent was making my mind race.  His twitching cock was forcing me to remember all the other times I had touched it and caressed it and loved it on all those other nights.  I couldn’t picture a time when I hadn’t wanted it near me, inside me, forcing me open so I could accommodate its thick girth while Levi thrust into me as ruthlessly as he would allow himself.  This would be different, I knew, but I still wanted it.

“You don’t have to do this,” I heard Levis’ voice above me, quiet and calm, but I could still hear the yearning that itched the back of his throat. 

“I know,” I answered simply.  “I want to.”

Levi was always careful with me.  It had been weeks since he had taken me for the first time, since I had crossed that line and plunged into the depths that made me feel as if I was pleasantly drowning in all the ways I could love Levi, but he was always so careful.  He was still afraid, that I knew.  He was still afraid I didn’t want this, didn’t want him; that I would change my mind, turn around and walk out the door.

I also knew that that would never change.  There would always be underlying fears within the both of us.  They may be stifled one day and raging monsters the next, quiet secrets or raging speeches of indignity.  Unpredictable and unfaltering; that’s just what it meant to be human.  It was how I handled myself around Levi when these fears were prominent that would decide how our relationship progressed over the years.  That’s why I wanted to do this; something new, something exciting, something for him.

I started out with him like he always started out with me.  I licked the underside of his cock, digging the tip of my tongue into the vein, wetting it up and breathing hotly onto the length.  Levi’s grip only tightened in my hair, and I could feel his eyes on me as I did this, watching me, gauging my actions and my twitches and my reactions.  I then placed sucking kisses back down the length, nibbling slightly when I reached the base, knowing Levi would always be a bit of a sadist.  True to my knowledge, I felt Levi’s hips flinch.  It didn’t deter me.

Flushed red and standing proud, I took the head of Levi’s cock into my mouth, trying not to scrunch up my eyes at the taste of pre-cum on my tongue or the odd feeling of having something so private inside my mouth.  I knew Levi was an impressive size, even by my standards, but trying to get the rest of his cock in my mouth showed me just how large he really was.  I could barely fit any of it in, my eyebrows furrowing as the head of his cock hit the back of my throat.  I pulled back only slightly, just enough so I would have room to move without gagging around him.

“You’re so pretty, I hope you know that,” Levi was telling me, his fingernails dragging along my scalp and rubbing soothing circles in my hair.  My eyelids fluttered at the feeling, liking the combination of a head massage along with his gorgeous voice singing me words of praise.  “I didn’t think I’d ever see a sight like this.  I wasn’t even going to try and ask you to do such a thing for me.  I’m glad you wanted to though.  It feels really good.”

I quickly made a mental note to tell Levi he could ask me for anything, and I honestly thought a blowjob wasn’t much to ask for anyway. 

As he dragged his fingers through my hair again, I hollowed my cheeks and sucked him down to the back of my throat.  His grip tightened in my locks, letting me know he liked that a lot.  So I did it again.  I swallowed around his cock as best I could, though felt some spit escape from my lips as I continued to breathe in his heady scent while bobbing my head up and down the length.

“Don’t stop.  Dammit!  That feels good!  I’ve always wanted to fuck your pretty face.  This is a wet dream come true.  Your hair is so soft, too; the perfect length for gripping while you pleasure me with that dirty mouth of yours.”

Levi’s thighs were probably going red under my grip as I tried to hold onto some of my sanity.  I could only imagine what I looked like as I took his cock deep into my mouth again and again; shining eyes, flushed cheeks, my chin covered in Levi’s pre-cum and my own spit dribbling down my jaw and dropping onto my own thighs still between Levi’s.  All that coupled with Levi’s fingers in my hair and his voice talking words of filth in my ears, I couldn’t help but feel extremely turned on.  I found I liked it.  I liked it a lot.

Levi let out one last groan before yanking me off.  A string of saliva clung to my lip, still connecting me to Levi’s hard and leaking cock.  His finger broke the connection, and I watched it disappear into his mouth where his tongue darted out to lick at the spit covered skin.  I could only pant at him, my breath coming out in short, hot bursts.  Levi then kissed me.

I didn’t waste time returning the urgency in which he was attacking my mouth.  I clung to his shoulders and swept my fingers over his bent back as he pushed me so I was resting against the head board again.  The mattress dipped as he adjusted himself, shoving his pants all the way off and shucking his shirt over his shoulders so it lay somewhere at the foot of the bed.  I had never known him to be so careless, even when it came to having sex with me.

His tongue was powerful and warm and wet in my mouth.  He held my face fast to his as he lapped at my tongue, the wet noises of our kiss ricocheting off the walls, making my entire body fidget with the need to have him inside me.  I felt like a slut.  I shouldn’t; but I really did.  I hadn’t known I could feel like this.

I knew I could feel lust for Levi, want him to the point where I had to tackle him to the living room carpet and spend thirty minutes convincing him we could go at it without making a mess before he finally got down to business.  I knew I could need him to the point where I was poking him awake in the middle of the night so I could whine and whimper in his ear, getting hard behind him before he jerked awake and flung himself on me, working his hips in between my thighs where we would hump each other until we were both satisfied. 

This was my first time feeling this kind of raw craving so deep within my skin I feel I would have to cut it out of me with a knife if I didn’t have it sated.  This was my first time realising how much of Levi I craved, how much of him I fed on to stay alive.  It was a burning, passionate and naked desire that I had never felt before.  The rest of our times together had been sensual, not slow by any means, but meaningful and full of the love and cherishment we both had for each other. 

This wasn’t different in that way.  It was just another layer, an extra log to the fire that made it larger and crackle louder and flicker higher, making my legs shake with anticipation and my mind reel with images of Levi.  It made my hands crawl all over him, clutching at any parts of him I could reach while he continued to shove his tongue in out of my mouth.

“Dammit, Levi, I fucking need you!” It was the first thing I had said since we had arrived back at our apartment on Floor Sixty, and already I could feel the burning embarrassment on my cheeks as I heard the words again as they echoed around the room.

But Levi didn’t slow, didn’t stop kissing me except for that one breath when I had screeched my unwavering desire to have him.  He only settled himself in my lap, rutting his hips against my cock.  I felt it slip between his legs so I was now venturing to a part of Levi I hadn’t before.  It felt good, it felt really good.  His cheeks sat over my aching cock nicely, the curve suiting me just fine, making me wonder if this is how perfect I sat with him when he did this to me.

Then he was moving, not enough so he slid away from me at any point, but enough to give me friction.  Glorious friction.  His hand was a fist in the base of my hair, forcing me to look at him, my eyes now glued to the silver flecks I could see amongst his shining blue irises.

“You need me, huh?” I only whimpered in agreement, unable to nod, unable to speak.  “Then you can have me.”

I had seen a lot of things since coming to Aincrad; waterfalls that rose and not fell, skies literally ablaze with fire, seas of treasure and fields upon fields of bright yellow daisies that blinded you if you looked at them for too long.  I had seen dragons and creatures that should be bears but weren’t.  I had seen beautiful weapons, amazing and intricate armour designs, flowing robes of royalty and of honour.  I had seen so much; but nothing would compare to the sight before me now.

Levi had given his fingers a good lick, forcing me to keep eye contact with him as he twisted around and stretched enough so he could slip his fingers inside himself.  I blanched.  Levi had once again taken me by surprise.  Then he was whimpering again, forcing himself open, forcing himself deeper.  I watched his face as he cringed at the pain, his features softening until all discomfort melted away and he was now scissoring himself for the pleasure alone.

Now I wasn’t the only one dripping with sweat.

Levi was whimpering my name again, making my voice croak as I tried to speak, tried to ask him what he was doing.  Though I knew already; of course I knew.  I was being purposefully stupid if I expected him to be doing this for an extra part of the show.  I licked my lips again, trying to pull myself together, wanting to give him the same sort of praise he had given me only moments before.

“Y-you’re really hot,” I tried.  My voice wavered and my cheeks heated. 

“Yeah?” Levi seemed to like it though.

“Really, really hot,” I could only continue, running on the motivation I had built and hoping for the best.  “I like watching you do this.  Just like I liked watching you strip for me.  It was sexy.  Made me feel incredibly lucky to have someone as sweet as you as my husband.”

Levi chuckled; though I could hear that it wasn’t out of amusement, more out of a pleasant surprise.  There was a smile on his lips as he continued to look at me, his hand gripping my shoulder for support as he leant back and continued to work himself open with his other hand.  There was a deep satisfaction in his eyes, and just like that, I could feel all his fears and qualms melt from his body and disappear out the door.

“Hold me while I do this; it’s been a while.”  Both of his hands were on my shoulders now, his arms sliding around my neck so he could press himself to me, kissing me hungrily as I felt the tip of my cock press against his ass.  I shivered. 

I honestly had never thought about reversing our roles; not like this.  Sure, I had let Levi lie back while I had forced myself onto him plenty of times.  I had watched his face contort and his back arch.  I had felt the burn in my thighs the next morning, only making me want to do it again; only harder and faster than before.  I had never considered asking Levi if he wanted to be taken by me, though I was sure as hell glad I could now. 

I was gloriously unprepared for what it would feel like to be inside someone so hot and so tight.  Levi sank down on my cock in one smooth and swift motion.  He plunged me so deep inside him until he was sitting on my balls, his face sweating with the effort it took to remain calm, his fingers digging into the skin on my back and his lips faltering against mine.  I didn’t even both trying to keep in my moans of ecstasy.  I was loud and brutal as Levi sat astride me, impatiently waiting to adjust.

“Fuck!  You’re bigger than I gave you credit for,” Levi gasped.  “So big.  Holy shit.  I think you’re going to tear me in half.”

I could only whimper in response, burying my face into the base of his neck and sinking my teeth into his flesh.  That got him moving, got him writhing and trembling as he lifted himself up and sunk back down.  I moaned against his skin, utterly taken aback at how amazing it felt to have him around me.  I could feel the raw craving that had been boiling beneath my skin start to overtake me.  I needed to move; needed to thrust.

So I did.

I waited for Levi to slowly lift himself up again before raising my hips and forcing me back into him.  He gasped as I did, clutching my shoulders tightly and crushing himself to my chest.  The sound in my ear as he keened, melting into my movements as I did it over and over again, that’s when I knew what I wanted from Levi tonight.  I wanted to break him.

He was always so composed, so cool and collected.  The only time I had seen him lose his composure was on the Western Mountain, right when the Frost Dragon had appeared and not his, but my own life, had flashed before his eyes; even the small part of it he had been a part of.  Now I wanted to see all his walls fall away so I’d have nothing but the raw components of the man I loved, his beating heart and his heated veins.

I let Levi rock himself on me a few more times.  He flailed and tried hard to grasp at my skin, but we were both so sweaty that any area of skin was slippery.  Levi had to resort to burying his forehead into my collarbone, his laboured breathing felt so good against my pectoral, felt so hot against my wet skin.  I buried one hand in his hair, where I could force his head back, choosing another spot of luscious skin and biting into it, practically feeling it rise under an ugly bruise. 

I used another hand to snake down his back, between his ass cheeks, where I pushed my fingers in, joining my cock and thrusting into him in time with his movements.  I felt Levi shudder under my teeth, could hear him wailing at the feeling of being spread open even further.  His movements turned spastic.  His arms tightened around me. 

“You feel so good,” his voice was in my ear.  I moaned at the rich sound wafting over me.  “I can’t believe we haven’t done this before.  You feel so fucking good.  I never want to get off your fat cock.”

That set something off that I couldn’t, and probably never would, understand.  I sat up straighter, using the force of my movement to slam Levi onto the mattress.  I scrambled through my brain, trying to remember what Levi did when he took me in such a position, but I couldn’t think of anything past the screaming and cursing and writhing mess I always was when he did.  So all I could do was plant my face into the crook of his neck, kissing the sweaty skin while thrusting hard and fast into his warm heat.

Levi was trying to arch under me, but my thick body wouldn’t let him.  I wouldn’t let him move from me, from where I was holding him.  I rammed into him with the possessive force of a man gone mad with the power of owning someone so beautiful.  I could feel Levi raking his fingers down my back, could feel the pads of his fingers quiver down where my spine ended before going back up to start again. 

He was screaming.  I could hear it so plainly.  I could hear him gasp and sputter with each thrust, only to let out a harsh scream of pleasurable agony as he felt himself be consumed by me.  I lapped at his skin, running a hot trail of saliva up his neck, feeling his jugular pulse under my tongue as I did. 

“Fuck me!” Levi screamed.  “Fuck me long!  Fuck me hard!  Just fucking get inside me and don’t stop!”

“What do you think I’m doing!?” I screamed back into his neck, somehow managing to pick up the pace, somehow managing to go even faster, deeper, and keep the even tempo I had found earlier.  Levi was calling my name now.  It was a good thing my name was short because when he finished on the ‘n’ he went right back into the ‘E’, my name falling off his tongue in a blurring string of ‘erenen’.

“Oh God, does that sound good!?” My voice was a low growl against his cheek.  I could see his eyes now, blurred and hazy, completely gone, having given himself over so easily to me and me alone.  “You’re a fucking beauty, Levi Jaeger.”

Levi stuttered at that, his wails filling the room and his hips rutting back on me.  Somehow, Levi wrenched his head up off the bed, touching his forehead with mine and hanging off my hair as a source of support.

“Say that again,” he demanded.

So I placed my lips right beside his ear and drawled in the most sinful voice I could muster his full name, and just like that, Levi was coming in between us, screaming my own name, letting it die on his lips as I finished inside him.  I was hugging him to me as we both came down from our amazing orgasms; I was clutching him to my chest, my forehead forced to his shoulder, his lips lost in my hair. I could feel him panting deeply against me, breathing in my heady scent.

Sleep came and took us right away; the mixture of an intensive boss fight coupled with all the alcohol and a session of love making neither one of us would soon forget left our bodies void of any sort of energy.  I barely had enough motivation to pull out and roll off my husband so I wouldn’t crush him while he slept, but still hugged him to my chest tightly.  He hid in my arms, his lips pressed to the muscles of my chest, my fingers in his hair, encasing him in a cage that wouldn’t be broken by any force; nature or otherwise. 

\---

“I think you broke me,” Levi croaked against my shoulder.

“Good.  That was my plan the whole time.”

“Think you can break me again tomorrow night?”

“I’ll break you tomorrow night and every other night; long after there’s nothing left to break.”

He smiled up at my from his place on my chest, shifting so he could kiss my lips before settling back down, intertwining his fingers in mine and holding on for dear life.

I had awoken a few hours before dawn, the morning chill making me groan at the thought of moving away from Levi for any period of time.  Then the small man was shifting beneath me, raising his head, sleep evident in his eyes but the cold evident in his posture.  We both forced ourselves to crawl under the covers where we assumed our original position and fell right back to sleep. 

The sun was high in the sky now, taking away some of the chilly air to make way for a warm day.  Levi and I weren’t planning to move though; Levi, because he _couldn’t_ move and me because I didn’t want to be away from him.  I realised late last night I had turned into a clingy husband who would rather die than spend five minutes away from my source of life; apparently I had mumbled such a fact in my sleep too because Levi was promising me a life time of him and nobody else as I woke up.

We had settled into a comfortable position; Levi using me as a body pillow as he tangled his legs with mine and cushioned his head on my chest.  I would say there hadn’t been a lot of talking, that we had been simply basking in the afterglow of a night of ecstasy and were content with each other’s breathing to mark who we had for company, but as usual, Levi and I just had too much to say to one another.

“I think I want a cat,” Levi changed the subject, petting my stomach as if practicing for the day we adopted a feline together.

“A cat would be nice.  We could name him Binkers.”

“I’m not having a cat named Binkers.”

“Than what would you name a cat if we had one?”

“Something royal and majestic; something that actually suits a cat’s proud nature and glowing demeanour.  I would name him Whiskers.”

“’Whiskers’ is not a royal and majestic name!”

“Sir Whiskertons III to be exact.”

“Does this tell me you’ve had two other cats named Sir Whiskertons?”

The bantering went on for what felt like hours.  At about eight in the morning there was a knock at the door.  I came back to Levi in the bedroom with a smile on my face, laughter bubbling in my chest.  After a quizzical look, I told Levi that we had been far too loud last night and that the neighbours had started a revolt against us, threatening to have us removed if we continued such acts so loudly.  That sent us into a fit of hysterics.

Somehow, we ended up making out after.  I played with his slick tongue, whimpering against his touch, squeezing his ass and chuckling as he slapped my hand away, naming it was off limits until further notice. 

“Hey, Eren,” Levi asked for my attention.

I took in another whiff of his coffee-concocted scent before shifting my head so I was looking directly at him.  Levi was beautiful.  His sweaty strands spread out over the pillow, his eyes still glowing from having been so hyped up on adrenaline only a few hours earlier.  His skin was pale, translucent, completely unblemished, his strong chest muscles expanding as he took in even breaths beside me.  His legs were long despite his short stature, the strength in them evident even from my position.

“Yeah, Levi?” I gave him my attention, undivided and all for him.

“I think I’m in love with you,” his voice was soft, his eyes flickering over all features of my face as he spoke before the blue irises settled on my green ones.  I smiled widely at the declaration.

“Yeah?”  Levi nodded.  “That’s good.  Because I think I’m in love with you too.”


	18. Sure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It had been like this for almost three weeks now. Levi and I would reside in either of our homes, living peacefully as the married couple we were, making love and having arguments and making love to make up for the arguments. We weren’t perfect, no couple was. We fought over stupid things and got irritated at each other far too easily. Levi blamed it on marrying a teenager; I blamed it on marrying too young. Of course, I have no regret for my decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started tracking the tag 'fic:snksao' over on tumblr just because 
> 
> I'm glad I was able to get this out before my writer's block sat in again or i got too caught up in my other fic 
> 
> and guys: its rude to say 'hey you finally updated!' or 'hey look an update'. i do go to school full time and as of these days, am looking for a part time job on top of my regular life. so cut me some slack. i don't mind 'im so happy you updated!' or even 'i was really looking forward to this update'...just be careful how you word things.

“Jump now!  Strike your blade through its eye!” Erwin ordered, his voice powerful and confident, no question in what he was asking of me.

“Got it!”

The ground was solid and thick underneath my feet as I sprinted toward the lizard-like monster.  I didn’t hesitate, even as it noticed me coming, to use my strength and leap into the air above its head.  It hissed at me, but had no time to swing its tail around to protect itself before I was coming down on it hard.  My hand was delayed for merely a moment before the tip broke through its skin and ripped through the rest of the beading yellow eye.  The creature wailed, the red grid that made up its wound evident as it thrashed its head around, as if it could shake off the pain like a bull shook off its rider.

“Levi!”

“I’m going.”

A streak of blue and a final high-pitched cry and the lizard froze, its mouth open, before erupting into the plethora of tiny lights that signalled its end.  I waited for the last of them to fade around me before taking a deep breath, relaxing my stance and shifting my blade back into its holster on my back.  Levi did the same, turning and returning to my side.

“Good work, you two,” the deep voice of our commander sounded.  He approached us, sheathing his own long sword and fixing his cloak.  I beamed, proud of myself.  Levi remained as stoic as ever as he nodded to his friend.  “Eren, your reflexes were commendable upon entering the legion, but they’ve done nothing but improve since your first mission with us.  Still, your footwork needs improving and you still throw too much energy into attacks that don’t matter as much; leave your aggression for the final blows, store what you have until you absolutely need it.  Levi, your sword play is still as accurate as ever, perhaps even more so.  Though your timing has faltered.  You’re rushing into your attacks too soon; leave Eren to do his part and trust in his abilities.  He can protect himself.”

I nodded enthusiastically at his advice, Levi only grunting in response and gripping my fingers in between his.  I smiled at him softly.

It wasn’t that he minded being told what to do; it’s that he didn’t like being told to hold himself back when it came to me.  Not that the commander was saying that at all, but any time it was implied he let his feelings for me get in the way of his attacks or how he fought, he tended to wear a sour expression, preferring to be left to his own devices when it came to anything to do with me.  I couldn’t blame him, though I knew they were right.

It had been like this for almost three weeks now.  Levi and I would reside in either of our homes, living peacefully as the married couple we were, making love and having arguments and making love to make up for the arguments.  We weren’t perfect, no couple was.  We fought over stupid things and got irritated at each other far too easily.  Levi blamed it on marrying a teenager; I blamed it on marrying too young.  Of course, I have no regret for my decision.

I love being married to Levi.  We have our problems as all couples do, but we work through them and learn day by day how to go about growing with each other as one form as well as individuals.  Our duties to the Scouting Legion keep us pretty busy, tiring us out to the point we’d get home and go straight to bed, but I was levelling up faster than I would be if I was still a guild-less player, and the rewards I reaped from being in one of the top guilds was always to my satisfaction.  Valuable meats, access to amazing weapons, comfortable lodgings when we were too far from home to travel back and an endless usage of superior players who were always willing to give me criticism on my fighting style when I asked.  Erwin seemed to like to help me the most, telling me if I stayed under his wing for as long as possible I’d improve immensely in a short amount of time.

Of course, I was never without Levi by my side.  Erwin said I should learn to fight with other players, for the sake of the legion as well as myself, but that was the one thing I wouldn’t budge on.  Levi was my everything, and we had fought side by side for almost two years now.  I wouldn’t trade him for anyone, and I knew he wouldn’t either.  We weren’t two separate people anymore; we were a package.  You want one?  You got the other.  That’s just how it worked.

“We should head back now,” Erwin was telling us, already heading towards Floor Seventy-Five’s main town and the new Scouting Legion headquarters.  Having been responsible for opening a new floor, both Levi, I and several others had been entrusted to mapping out its territory.  It was an entirely new experience for me as I had never gone anywhere without a map before.  I was surprised to find that I had never felt scared or worried about the task either; having quickly learnt to trust myself and those around me.

“Eren, we should go to that bakery again for lunch,” Levi addressed me, tugging me close so he could loop his arm around my waist while we walked.  I rested my own arm around his shoulder.  I had always liked that Levi was short; it made it easy and comfortable to walk so close to him.  Yet this was the only time I got to use his height to my advantage; any time else I tried and I was reminded that he was all pure muscle, pinning me down easily and throwing me over his shoulder as if I were a pillow and not the sixty-five kilogram teenager I was.

“You just want to stock up on crème brulees again!” I accused.  “You went through our last order in less than a week!  Maybe you should hold off on the sweets for a while.”

“I don’t see your point.”

“There were twenty of them!  And before you say anything; I only got to eat two as I remember.  You scoffed down the rest like a bear!”

“You’re lucky you won’t get diabetes in here, Levi,” Erwin put in his own two cents.  “Or get any fatter for that matter.”

“Which is why I’m stocking up now before we go back!  I won’t be able to eat nearly as frivolously once the game is beat.  We’re close too.”

The sentence hung in the air as we continued to walk. 

It was true.  Twenty-five floors might seem like a long way to go, but when you’ve been stuck in a virtual reality for almost two years and have watched players creep up seventy-five floors slowly; it doesn’t seem like much at all.  I couldn’t say with absolute confidence that I was looking forward to the day Floor One Hundred was finally opened and defeated; I still had no idea what to expect once this was all over.  I guess it had everything to do with comfort and familiarity.

I had built a far stronger and larger life for myself here than I had back in the real world; two houses, a successful career, means of easy travel, a husband.  Back home, I was nearing eighteen and had no qualifications; I even missed graduating high school.  I had a father weighed down with emotional baggage to deal with, a sister who had too high a brother complex to see where she was going, not to mention the rest of the world to face. 

Though I knew nothing would compare to it; just like I had taught Levi, the real world was something that could never be duplicated or even improved.  This world may have great abilities and dragons and weapons and quests and a minimal amount of magic; but the real world had family, experiences and age.  I would never take any of that for granted ever again.

“We’re running out of time,” Levi muttered beside me.  I looked down at him quizzically. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it.  What do you think the real world has done with all our bodies since this game started?”

My breath hitched.  That’s right; we were now on a ticking timer.  There had been a period of time where each player had collapsed and had fallen asleep while our real world bodies had been moved to hospitals so doctors could keep our bodies alive while our minds fought for survival.  But still, six thousand bodies using up all those resources, I knew some wouldn’t be happy with it.  Sooner or later, they’d pull the plug on each and every one of us, cutting off the rights for ourselves to survive outside the game, and effectively, killing us inside as well.  The only problem was we had no idea when that time would come.  We could only hope and pray they’d hold out for us just a little longer.

“It’s alright,” Erwin interjected.  “We’re planning to clear another floor by the end of the week.  We’ll progress fast and swift; we’ll all make it out of here.”

I was stopped as the body under my arm came to a halt.  Levi’s eyes were wide, his mouth agape as he stared at Erwin’s still retreating back.

“What do you mean you’re ‘planning to clear another floor’?  It’s barely been a month since Floor Seventy-Five was opened.  We’ve barely mapped any of the topography.  We still have barely any idea of what kind of beasts this floor produces and you want to send the legion into another war zone?  So soon?!” 

Levi was beside himself as he spat all this at Erwin, fearful for the soldiers who would have to place their lives in danger based on minimal information and the assumption that their commander would lead them out alive, but a commander was only as good as the soldiers he was commanding.

I was a little shocked too.  I knew Erwin lead with an iron fist and an even harder resolve.  He rarely wavered on his choices and he made hard decisions fast.  His respective animal was an eagle for a reason; he didn’t just attack poised and planned, but also ruthlessly and with a fierceness you wouldn’t find in any other man.  It made me wonder what drove him to act as he did; did he have a family outside of SAO?  A lover?  Maybe a job he really enjoyed?  If I had thought Levi was a mystery upon our first meeting; he was nothing compared to the man in front of us now.

“You said it yourself, Levi.  We’re running out of time.  We can no longer afford to be cautious.”  He had turned to us now, his expression unreadable.

“I get that!” Levi was saying.  “But there’s lack of caution and then there’s downright recklessness!  You just finished telling me not to be reckless when it comes to fighting with Eren; you certainly can’t be reckless when it comes to fighting with an entire army!”

“I’ve talked it over with Hanji, Mike and the rest of the squad leaders; they are all in agreement.”

“Really?  How many dicks did you suck to make it that way?”

I wasn’t shocked with Levi’s language.  He had a horrible tongue especially when he was angry. 

I could only glare at Erwin, my respect for him slowly shattering under his own gaze directed at my husband.  I couldn’t begin to agree with his decision.  Levi was right on every account; there was no justifying this choice, no matter how little time we think we might have left.

“Levi.  Eren.”  Erwin’s voice was stable, no ounce of hesitation within its deep resonance; another unshakable resolve.  “I realise why you would disagree with my choice, but it is _my_ choice, which means the legion will follow it to the letter.”

There’s nothing I hated more than a man who took advantage of the power he held in his hands; and the lives he held also.

“I’m not asking you to participate.  You both fought valiantly in the last boss battle.  Even I would feel it would be unfair to ask you to risk your lives so soon after such an ordeal.  However, the invitation is an open one.  If you feel it is in your place to fight with your guild, we meet at Floor Seventy-Five’s boss room at dawn.”

Which means he already knew where it was…

“Why did you keep this from us?” Levi had removed himself from my side, having stepped forward to glare up at Erwin in full.  It didn’t matter how short Levi was; he could make up for his height with confidence alone.

“You know why, Levi.”

With that, Erwin turned and left us there to walk back alone, and to contemplate the choices we now faced.  Levi was dead silent as he watched his commander’s retreating back, his shoulders shaking with fury and his fists clenched with barely concealed rage.

“Why did he keep it from us?” I asked, careful how I spoke, knowing it wouldn’t take much to set Levi off.  Though his shoulders ceased and his hands relaxed, Levi turned to look me dead in the eye before he replied.

“Because he knew I would say no.”

\---

We did say no.  Levi had admitted to me, while we sat outside the bakery and fought with our spoons who got the last of the crème brulee, that though he had every faith in me and he enjoyed fighting by my side, fighting that floor boss had been one of the scariest things he had ever faced in SAO.  It wasn’t the boss itself or the fact that we had been outnumbered by levels and statistic numbers; it had been watching me cling to my sanity for dear life, and then forced to fight because of him.

I had tried to tell him that I had climbed up onto the back of that monster due to my own decision and reasoning, but it didn’t help calm his nerves.  Refusing wasn’t hard though, and if I was totally honest, I was glad to be sitting this one out.  Levi wasn’t the only one who feared for his lover’s life while fighting such high level enemies.  I couldn’t begin to imagine what I would have done if that fight had gone anyway but perfect.  So the both of us settled in for a night at home, crawling close to each other under the same blanket and sipping hot chocolate while sitting beside the fire.

Of course, it didn’t take long before Levi was putting our cups down and placing his lips firmly on mine, crawling into my lap and slipping both our pants off as he began to get me hot and hard under his hand.  I panted into his ear as he continued to caress my ass, playing with my hole with the pads of his fingers, his teeth nibbling on my shoulder and making shudder after shudder run down my back.

“What do you want from me tonight?” Levi’s words in my ear were sultry and deep, I could hear every syllable so clearly, his desire resonating with each breath against my ear.

“It’s your turn to choose,” I gasped out brokenly as he pushed a finger in, my hands grabbing at his back, clawing at his skin.  I could see the red marks start to rise already.  His lips were mouthing something against my neck, making me gasp for air as he grinded our naked erections together. 

“I don’t feel like trying anything new tonight,” he answered honestly.  I wondered how he could keep his voice so smooth and calm, while I was sitting underneath him trying to remember my own name.

“Y-yeah,” I managed to get out.  “Me neither.”

Yet with Levi practically bending me in half, his mouth hot on my chest and his dick hard inside me, it was hard to feel like I was missing out on anything, because sometimes it was the simple things that sent you over the edge.  Like Levi gripping my face in his palms, his tongue in my mouth and his sweat dripping onto my skin.  Like his hips going hard and fast into me, over and over and over again while I cried his name.  Like his whispers of love and undying affections.  Not to mention his hand around me, pumping me, until I came so hard I was seeing stars.

Curled around each other, the fur of the rug cushioning my body and Levi’s erratic heartbeat cushioning my ear, I started to drift off to sleep.  Levi’s fingers were in my hair.  His fingernails continued to make me shiver as he dragged them across my scalp.  I whispered a hushed good night before drifting off to the sound of the fire crackling and the quiet murmurs of the world outside our home.

I awoke to Levi shifting underneath me, adjusting his arm so I wouldn’t cut off the circulation, stretching out his leg so it wouldn’t cramp.  I nestled closer, my lips grazing his shoulder and the tips of my fingers resting over his heart.

“Did I wake you?” his voice sounded beautiful; thick with sleep and muffled by my hair. 

“Yeah,” I answered, feeling him relax over me as he found a position that worked.  “But I don’t mind.”

There was a gust of warm air against my forehead, Levi scoffing at me before settling back into the comfort of the thick rug.  I followed his example, resting my head against his arm once again and closing my eyes, listening for the sounds of the world outside.  There was nothing.  It was completely silent.

This unnerved me.  It was never truly loud on Floor Sixty, not like the busier floors where music was always blaring and the sound of footsteps and voices never quietened or ceased, but it was never this quiet either.  I couldn’t hear the clinking of metal as goods were traded.  The muffled sound of footsteps walking past our house as players made their way back through the suburbs.  I couldn’t hear any voices, or music, or nature.  I listened harder, holding my breath even, yet still heard nothing.  It was eerily calm outside.

“What is it?” Levi was fully awake now, having sensed my hesitation to go back to sleep. 

“Do you hear that?” There was a pause as Levi also held his breath.

“No.  I don’t,” he answered truthfully.

“Exactly.  Where are the villagers?  The animals?  The dancers?  This floor has never been this quiet; we’re too close to the centre of town.”

More silence followed as we both continued to wait for something that wasn’t coming.

“You’re over thinking things,” Levi finally decided.  He grabbed my waist and rolled me over, crawling on top of me and pressing his naked body to mine.  I whimpered at the sudden contact, forgetting about my qualms as his lips found mine and we filled the silence with the sound of our lips smacking together.  I hummed amongst our kisses, feeling the worry leak from my shoulders.

“Yeah, maybe,” was all I could say as I played with Levi’s hair, letting him run his hands up and down my sides as we continued to kiss. 

Sleep came back to me easy, and I didn’t awaken again until the smell of sizzling bacon and baking pancakes managed to rouse me from my dreams.

\---

“Do you feel bad?”

Levi’s voice snapped me out of my riviere.  I looked over to him, feeling his fingers tighten around my palm and his whole being shift closer as we continued to walk amongst the various stalls.  It was lively today, surprisingly so.  It must have been the good vibe that seemed to be hanging in the air, the thrum of excitement for another floor to become open for exploration.  It was nearing midday, meaning the Scouting Legion had left almost six hours ago.  I may not have been interested in joining them, but I was definitely worried for their safety.

Despite that; no, I didn’t feel bad.

“Why would I?” I answered his question with my own.  “We did our part in the last boss fight.  Hell, we were the ones who delivered the killing blow.”  Levi smiled at my confidence.  “They can handle this one on their own; I believe in our guilds strength.”

Continuing to walk down the street, Levi dragged me over to a stall that was selling cloaks, trying to convince me it was a good idea he bought a new one, royal blue in colour with intricate threads of purple sewn into the hem.  I admitted it would definitely match his complexion like he said it would, but I hissed at the price and attempted to drag him away.

Levi was pouting, pretending like he was mad at me as we walked away, when I first felt it.  Something had changed.  The air felt stiff around me all of a sudden.  The wind was changing directions too fast for it to be natural.  The sky was fading to a luscious orange, as if the sun was setting fast, though it was supposed to be the middle of the day.  I glanced around me, at least thankful to see that I wasn’t the only one who noticed it.

Players around us went into a tense frenzy, shifting around each other as they continued to watch the sky.  Some seemed to be more worried than others.  Some seemed excited, a change taking place no one had predicted.  I could only reach for Levi’s arm, finding it as he himself reached for me.

“What’s going on?” I asked him, knowing before he gave me a look that he had no idea either. 

Suddenly, a loud noise erupted.  It split the air, making me slam my hands over my ears as the sound of shattering glass seemed to fill the entire town around us.  It shook the ground, stall goods falling to the street, fruit bruised as it rolled away, pots smashed as they fell from their shelves.  I ground my teeth together, finding safety as Levi hugged me to his chest, attempting to protect me from all angles from something we weren’t even sure was a threat.

It stopped as suddenly as it had come.  I couldn’t tell if it was still there, only faint, in the distance, or if the sound was still echoing through my eardrums.  My hands fell from my ears, gripping Levi’s arms, using them to help me stand straight again.  Levi held fast to me to, glancing around him, blue orbs panicked. 

“No way,” he whispered, his breath fanning against my collarbone.  “It’s too early…”

I could only give him a confused look, but he was suddenly tearing toward the end of the street.  I followed close behind, not bothering to ask what his suspicions were, knowing they’d be revealed once he was sure they were right. 

The sound of the Scouting Legion’s doors bursting open echoed throughout the room.  I still didn’t know what Levi was thinking, but I matched his pace as he jogged over the marble floor toward the large desk, where Gunther had been put in charge of keeping communications open with the other members of the legion. 

“Gunther, what’s going on?” Levi’s voice was brisk and demanding.  Gunther, standing behind the desk, simply closed the screen in front of him and looked up, an unreadable expression on his face.  He was different.

Gunther looked tired, worn, and relieved.  His eyes had grown soft and his shoulders were no longer struggling to hold the posture he had managed to keep for so long.  A mask was a heavy burden after all.

“I’m surprised you aren’t with the others, Levi,” Nile responded.  His voice wasn’t harsh on my ears like normal, but a calm gravely sound, slightly unnerved by Levi’s presence.

“I took a raincheck,” Levi only said.  “Now tell me what’s going on; and don’t, for a second, pretend like you don’t know.”

Gunther only took a deep sigh before walking out from behind the desk.  His entire demeanour had changed.  I knew, from the several times I had interacted with him thanks to Levi, that he was usually a stern and abrasive character.  He enjoyed his work and got it done efficiently.  He was motivated.  So where had all that motivation gone?

“This is the end.”  With those four words I felt my entire stomach heave.  “Something has happened during Floor Seventy-Five’s boss fight, and for some reason, the other twenty-five floors have been named irrelevant.  Aincrad is shattering.  Sword Art Online is ending.  We are free to log out.”

\---

My feet seemed sluggish, heavy, as if they didn’t feel like leaving the ground.  I was dragged through the streets, players shattering in shards of light left and right, their happy faces and forlorn expressions filling my vision as Levi continued to drag me away.  I knew we were heading home.  I wasn’t sure why, only that Levi had been nothing but silent since Gunther had told us Sword Art Online had been beaten.

That was another thing that was making my head swim, making my forehead throb in confusion.  Why was Sword Art Online ending so early?  What had happened to the other twenty-five floors that had needed clearing?  It was why I had said ‘no’ to fighting the latest boss so early; because I had told myself ‘there would be other floors to clear’.  Apparently not.  How could I have been so wrong in a game that seemed so simple?

The centre of the town was usually the busiest place on Floor Sixty, but right now, it was empty.  The fountain gushed cool water still.  The buildings remained the same.  The same blue light made the cobblestones shimmer and the sky fade in and out from a dull gold to a vibrant pink.  It was as if nothing was changing, yet I knew everything was.  This was the end.  There was now no going back.  It was time for us to log out.

“Levi,” I began.

“No!  Shut up!” He was angry.  His back was turned to me, his fingers tight around mine, his other hand clenched tight by his side.

Why was Levi angry?  Hadn’t he wanted to go back?  Hadn’t he wanted to beat the game?  If not for his sake, but for my own?  We had built promises upon other promises, telling each other of our different worlds and the memories we held there; a foundation, a star, an everlasting light which we had both been heading towards together.  This world wasn’t a reality; it never had been, I had never thought of it as such.

“Don’t tell me to ‘shut up’, Levi!” I was angry too.  He couldn’t pull this bullshit on me, not now.  Not when everything was now decided and he was only being stubborn for the sake of being stubborn.  I yanked his hand, forcing him to turn around and look at me.  His eyes were fierce, determined, full to the brim with a determination I recognised all too well.  “Don’t you dare think you’re going to stay here!  What for!?  There’s nothing left!  You told me you wanted to go back!  You said I reminded you what the real world was f-“

“Don’t be an idiot!” He interrupted, gripping my hand even tighter and pulling me close to him.  He took my other hand so he was no clasping both of my palms, holding them tight, my life in his hands.  “Of course I want to go back.  Of course I don’t want to stay here.”

I could only give him a confused look.

“Aren’t you going to miss it?” he asked honestly.  “What we have here?  What we built here?  What this world means for us?  It may have trapped us here for almost two years, but that’s two years of our lives we lived out on these floors.  You expect me to just let that go?  Without any warning?”

Maybe this world was never a reality, but it was still a form of a world that would live on in our memories, and yet…

“I won’t miss it,” I told him, my eyes firm and my voice steady.  He seemed shocked, almost disappointed by my answer.  “This isn’t real Levi.  None of this was ever real!  The buildings, the monsters, the abilities, the weapons, all just literally figments of our imagination Akihiko Kayaba programmed for us to see and use!  Even you and I aren’t real!  Our house, our lives here, our bodies; none of it is real!  We’re just code!”

Levi’s entire demeanour broke in front of me, his eyes screaming pain and his body exuding shock and helplessness.

“You asshole!” I must have trained with Levi for too long because I saw his fist coming before he even raised it.  I caught it in mine, holding him back.  The entire situation had made him weak, making him easy to control.  His struggling was pitiful.

“What I feel for you, what I promised you, what we built the foundation of our relationship on and how we both continued to grow as people thanks to each other; that’s real!” His struggling ceased.  “Don’t miss this place.  Don’t miss your apartment or our house on the lake.  Don’t miss your abilities or your strengths or even your crème brulees.  Miss the memories you made here.  Miss the lessons you learned and the trust you regained thanks to this game.  Miss everything about who you are now and nothing about who you were.”

Levi raised his head, looking me dead in the eye.

“I’ll miss you, too.”

“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, tugging his fist forward and wrapping my arms around him, my lips in his hair and my arms fast around his waist.  “You don’t have to miss me.  I’ll be there for you, right outside, waiting to get married for real.”

His own arms reciprocated my actions, holding me tight, his breathing harsh in my shirt.

“Alright, dumbass,” he whispered.  I could only chuckle, squeezing his body before letting him pull away.  “One for the road then?”

I only smiled, cupping his face and pressing my lips to his, feeling his warmth under my fingertips and his breath on my cheek.  His lips were soft and his grip was firm, his smell making my head swim and my knees shake.  It was hard to believe the man in my grasp wasn’t real, that he never had been.  I was excited.  Feeling Levi for real, holding his hand, kissing his lips, seeing his eyes; it would all be the same outside, and yet completely different as well.  His fingers may be calloused, not smooth.  His lips may be chapped, not soft.  His hair may be course, not silky.

Of course, I’d love him no matter what.

Our lips separated with a wet sound, our foreheads pressed together.  My fingers were shaking as I brushed his hair and grazed his cheek, realising how much it would hurt to be away from him for the first time in two years. 

“Don’t be late.”  It was an order.

“Never.  I’ll even come early,” I promised.

Both of us, together, swiped our hands down, finding the ‘log out’ button flashing up at us from the bottom of the menu screen, where it had never been before.  It looked so out of place.  Pressing it together, our hands clasped tightly, the confirmation message appeared. 

‘Are you sure you want to log out?’

I would be lying if I said I had never been more sure of anything in my entire life.  Because I had been sure I had needed to call out and wake Levi up so he’d have at least some chance of survival from that sleeping player killer.  I had been sure what I wanted from him when we had made our bargain.  I was sure that I would need to trust his abilities, even if it meant following him blindly into combat, all through the various floors he coached me through. 

I had been sure that it was Levi I had been happy to see atop that mountain, that it was his life I was going to save, even if it meant risking my own.  I had been sure I was in love with Levi, that I didn’t care about what others thought of me or even what I thought of myself, only that it was him I wanted to be beside.

I had been sure it was Levi I wanted to love for the rest of my life, entrusting my heart and soul to him that night in his apartment, and then again the next evening, as we said our wedding vows under the window-glass pane of the church. 

I had been sure I would join the Scouting Legion, fight by my husband’s side, trust those around me and let it all fall into place as we completed mission after mission.  I had been sure of all of this.

And I was most definitely sure I was ready to get the fuck out of here.

“See you on the other side,” Levi gave my fingers one last squeeze, slamming his finger down on the red circle that gave the game his answer.

“No, you won’t,” I laughed, tapping my temple as he shattered under my grip.  He managed to give me the finger before all the light that made his avatar faded for real, leaving only me in this large, expanse of code and mind and game.

One last look, one last breath, and I was taking my own turn, pressing the red circle button flashing at me, and watched Sword Art Online fade in front of me.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end.
> 
> EDIT: this is the end of the fic. there won't be another chapter. im not planning to write a sequel. sorry


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